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WikiProject Women in Green: 20-minute assessment

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Hello Agus Damanik -- as requested, I'm providing a quick 20-minute assessment of this article, as part of WikiProject Women in Green's support to help prepare articles for a full Good Article (GA) review. This article looks like it's off to a great start, but I'm seeing several issues that should be addressed before it's nominated for GA. I've listed a few comments and suggestions below (a GA reviewer may ask for additional edits, but these are the ones I think are most urgent).

  • While the prose is mostly very understandable, there are some grammatical issues scattered throughout the main text. I recommend going over it again carefully or requesting a copy edit from another editor (the Guild of Copy Editors is another option, but average wait times for requests may be two months).
  • Parmini's date of death should be mentioned and cited within the main text.
  • Why did Parmini join the army? The main text states that she "accidentally" saw a brochure, but it doesn't explain why the career appealed to her.
  • There seems to be inconsistency around whether Sri Parmini is referred to as "Parmini" or "Sri" in the main text. You may be more familiar with Indonesian names than I am -- is Parmini her family surname, or is it a patronymic? Is it common to refer to her by her given name instead? Wikipedia has an Indonesian name hatnote that may perhaps be appropriate to place at the top of the article. Whatever the case, you should definitely refer to her in a consistent way through the article's main text.
  • I checked the photos of Parmini. Although they all have licensing to demonstrate public domain status in Indonesia, none of them have a second license tag for United States copyright status, which could pose a problem in a GA review -- because Wikipedia's servers are located in the U.S., all photos need to meet copyright requirements in the U.S. as well as in their country of origin. I'm not sure how to approach the question of confirming American public domain status for photos of Indonesian military, so I recommend asking for help at the Commons Village Pump.
  • The photo of Parmini's signature also needs a second licensing tag for U.S. status. I think you should be able to add Template:PD-signature for this one.
  • Lastly, in the "Orders, decorations and medals" section:
-What does "Baris ke-1" (etc.) mean? English-language readers may need a translation or Wiki-link of some kind.
-The red linked decorations may not yet have English WP articles, but they do have Indonesian articles -- you could use the interlanguage link template to link to the Indonesian WP.

If you have any questions about my comments, please let me know. Good luck with this article! Alanna the Brave (talk) 20:57, 15 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for reviewing Agus Damanik (talk) 01:38, 16 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]