Talk:Night of the Living Dead/GA2

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: MyCatIsAChonk (talk · contribs) 01:24, 21 October 2023 (UTC)

Starting per a request on the Discord server, so let's hope it can make it to DYK in time for Halloween! MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 01:24, 21 October 2023 (UTC)

Just to clarify, this was part of an idea to have a DYK set of Halloween hooks and I said I could review any pending spooky GANs, which led me here per a suggestion from the unrelated Vaticidalprophet... no canvassing, we promise. MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 01:48, 21 October 2023 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	The script primarily drew influence from Richard Matheson's 1954 novel I Am Legend. - either cut influence or say "was influenced by"  Done across the east coast of the United States - East Coast is capitalized  Done to watch the 3 AM news update - "AM" should be "a.m."/"am" with a nbsp between it and the number (MOS:TIME)  Done Wl posse to Posse comitatus  Done Karl Hardman as Harry Cooper. One of the film's producers, Hardman, played the role of husband to his real-life partner Eastman. - I'm confused- is Hardman a producer, or is there another producer named Hardman, and who's Eastman? Because Marilyn Eastman is discussed below that, you should use her full name  Done (see below) Before the cast list, Hardman Associates isn't mentioned once, so mentioning it in the cast list is confusing- clarify  Done (see below) The first time a name is said outside of the lead, use their full name and link them (if not an actor)- this notably applies to Romero  Done The 'External video' box lacks any context- I can assume it's the Calgon commercial mentioned in the text, but that's not directly stated  Done but this would still be insufficient - make past tense (WP:INTOTHEWOULDS)  Done The script was co-written by John Russo and George A. Romero - if their full names are stated earlier in the prose outside the lead, no need to use their full names here  Done Costs adjusted for inflation need to be cited (see Fleetwood Park Racetrack for an example)  Done Eastman modified cellar scenes featuring dialogue between Helen and Harry Cooper - modified what? The section talks about improved dialogue, so what is there to modify?  Done Although the film is regarded as one of the launching pads for the modern zombie movie,[56] the screenplay never uses the word.[57] In a 2013 interview, Romero said that he felt the film's antagonists were not the zombies of Haitian folklore and that he actively avoided any similarities.[57] Professor of religious studies, Kim Paffenroth, has noted that Romero's antagonists broke with earlier traditions of "voodoo zombies" by having no human villain in control of the zombie and thus no potential to ever restore the monsters' humanity.[58] - IMO, this belongs better under "Legacy"  Done written for a white actor, but upon casting African-American actor Duane Jones, - there may be some MoS policy I'm unaware of, but if you use "white" to describe "actor", then "black" should be used to describe "actor Duane Jones"  Done In 2011, when the cemetery chapel was under warrant for demolition; Gary R. Steiner led a successful effort to raise funding to restore the building - semicolon should be a comma  Done was the first feature-length film directed by George A. Romero - no need for full name not done: Some readers skim hard, so I think it makes sense to have his full name under "Directing" where someone might jump to look for info about him. He asks, "What girl has not - should be past tense: 'he asked'  Done The musical piece during the scene in the film where Ben finds the rifle in the closet inside the farmhouse as the radio reports of mayhem play in the background - this is much too detailed for referencing a single scene, cut down  Done Wl sadism to Sadomasochism  Done In 1999, co-writer John A. Russo - delink russo and just use his surname  Done undertaken by the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) - no need to link both, and I don't see why the abbreviation is needed either, since the museum is mentioned earlier in the article  Done Image caption: Cover for Dawn of the Dead dead album - two "dead"s?  Done O'Bannon's The Return of the Living Dead would arrive in theaters - make past tense  Done In a previous case, Dawn Associates v. Links - clarify that it's a court case  Done the film has yet to go into production. - add "as of..."  Done In April 2021, Heavy Metal magazine began publishing a graphic novel adaptation of the story titled The Rise from Romero's script and with art by Diego Yapur - this makes it sound like the novel is still being published; that may be true, but it won't age well. Make it past tense  Done Wl Vietnam War  Done did work with Romero - worked with Romero...  Done What's the difference between the sections "Revisions" and "Remakes"? Clarify  Done several independent producers have done remakes. - have created remakes  Done has been performed in Toronto, Leeds and Auckland among others - other whats?  Done Wl racism to Racism in the United States  Done Film historian Robin Wood organized "The American Nightmare"—a retrospective framing horror - a retrospective what? Documentary? Exhibition?  Done a grotesque echo of the conflict then raging in Vietnam." - period goes outside quote mark per MOS:QINQ  Done Other prevalent themes included "the flaws inherent in the media, local and federal government agencies, and the entire mechanism of civil defense". - attribute the quote  Done Film historian Linda Badley explains that the film was so horrifying because the monsters were not creatures from outer space or some exotic environment, "They're us." - add "but rather that" before the quote  Done Prose is clear and concise
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Add alt text to images (WP:ALT)  Done I feel like lots of the details about individual cast members are more suited for their articles rather than this one; cut down appropriately  Done (see below) No MoS violations
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Refs are in a proper "References" section
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	What makes the following reliable sources: www.image-ten.com Homepage of the Dead TribLIVE diamonddead.com Ain't It Cool News HorrorMovies.ca Events.getoutaz.com Cinema-suicide.com ScreenAge Wasteland www.scoop.co.nz Allmovie Sequart Sources are reliable
	2c. it contains no original research.	I don't see the need for a spotcheck- no OR visible
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Earwig is showing a rather high copyvio score because there are tons of quotes. Paraphrase rather than quoting directly to cut those numbers down Earwig shows no violations
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Images are properly PD/Gnu tagged
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Images are relevant and captioned
	7. Overall assessment.

Source reliability

Responding to questioned sources:

• www.image-ten.com Primary source: studio.
• Homepage of the Dead Primary source: Karl Hardman and Marilyn Eastman.
• TribLIVE This is an online news site formed from several PA newspapers (Tribune-Review, Valley News Dispatch, Leader Times, Daily Courier and The Valley Independent) see Pittsburgh Tribune-Review or [1].
• diamonddead.com Primary source: George Romero.
• Ain't It Cool News Influential pop culture site: Used by the The Guardian, New York Times,[2] and MIT.[3]
• HorrorMovies.ca removed
• Events.getoutaz.com Published by the East Valley Tribune, a major Arizona newspaper. On archived versions of the newspaper site from that time there is a "Get Out" tab[4] linking to getoutaz.com.
• Cinema-suicide.com I removed the sentence with this citation as unnecessary.
• ScreenAge Wasteland Covered in the linked wiki article.
• www.scoop.co.nz Independent news site and member of the NZ Media Council.[5] It's used to cite a single fact that the play was performed in Auckland, New Zealand.
• Allmovie I've replaced one citation with shortened footnotes to more reliable sources and removed the other as redundant. The external link at the bottom is not used to cite content.
• Sequart Replaced with Harper (2005).

Here's a diff if any of my explanations of changes don't make sense:[6] Thanks for taking a look at the article, Rjjⁱⁱⁱ (talk) 03:28, 21 October 2023 (UTC)

Also, @MyCatIsAChonk: I have paraphrased the long quotes except for the Ebert review block quotation. I'll scan the text soon and look for smaller quotations to paraphrase. I don't think these will affect Earwig's score. There are a lot of proper nouns in the article (people, films, companies, lawsuits, etc.), and that's what I mainly see Earwig highlighting now. Rjjⁱⁱⁱ (talk) 09:11, 21 October 2023 (UTC)

@Rjjiii done reviewing, lovely work. After the prose is adjusted per above comments, it's close to FA already, like you mentioned on the article's talk page. MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 18:24, 21 October 2023 (UTC)

Cast

@MyCatIsAChonk: I think most of the issues in other sections were straightforward. For the cast, I added a one-paragraph introduction and cut down the info on individual cast members. Let me know if the list is too verbose still and I can do a second pass to flatten it more. Keith Wayne is up for deletion, so I put the anchor into the article for a redirect, but have left the link in for now. Thanks for the kind words and the fresh eyes. This has been quite helpful. Rjjⁱⁱⁱ (talk) 06:25, 22 October 2023 (UTC)

Very nice work, I think the cast list looks much better. Good to go for GA- hope to see it at DYK soon ;) MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 12:36, 22 October 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.