Talk:Alice of Antioch

Alice of Antioch is currently a Royalty, nobility and heraldry good article nominee. Nominated by Surtsicna (talk) at 10:27, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Alice of Antioch/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Surtsicna (talk · contribs) 10:27, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Borsoka (talk · contribs) 06:59, 20 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):

C. It contains no original research:

D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
Is it neutral?
It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
Is it stable?
It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Source review

Relevant academic sources, including a monography about Alice, are cited.
References 2, 3, 4, 12, and 43 verify the connected texts. Borsoka (talk) 07:14, 20 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Reference 44 is to be fixed.
...the Church a share in the spoils of her raiding expeditions Close paraphrasing?
The two cities passed to her daughter, who was the sole ruler of the principality from 1149 to 1153. Close paraphrasing? Borsoka (talk) 12:01, 20 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
A direct reference to Mayer's work is needed when his words are quoted in section "Assessment".

Comments

...a Frankish crusader... Frankish?
...in the First Crusade in 1099 During and in 1098-99.
...rightful heir, Bohemond II... I would add the adjective "absent" to introduce his arrival to the East, mentioned in the following sentence.
...Bohemond was then invested with the principality I would avoid the verb "invested" because 1. it closely paraphrased; 2. it raises the question by whom; and 3. it implies that he was vassal of Baldwin (which is dubious).
Baldwin thus relieved himself of the responsibility for the principality... I think the text does not reflect what Asbridge says: the arrival of the lawful prince relieved him and the marriage secured the alliance.
... similar to the earlier princesses of Antioch, Cecilia of France and Alice's aunt Cecilia of Le Bourcq Misleading: they had not received the same towns. I would delete it.
...this must have been a shattering blow... What?
Introduce William of Tyre (especially mentioning that he wrote his chronicle decades after the events).
Burgess or burgher? If burgess, fix the link.
...who in the same year led a major revolt against Fulk... Why not past perfect or future in the past?
Hugh was opposed to Fulk's attempts to exclude Melisende from power. He was defeated, but Melisende succeeded in gaining a share in the government of the kingdom. Delete.
...seized the see of Antioch... Did he seize it?
The princess is traditionally said to have then sent an embassy to Byzantine Emperor John II Komnenos, proposing a marriage between his youngest son, Manuel, and either herself or her daughter, but Asbridge suggests that this offer may have been made already in 1130 and not by Alice. I would clarify that Kinnamos is the source, and I would rather mention Buck's more elaborate (also similar) PoV (Buck 2017, p. 191).
...by the Greek patriarch... I would add that "titular" or that he lived in Constantinople.
...had close ties to the Abbey... More info?
...her elder sister, Queen Melisende of Jerusalem... Delete "of Jerusalem" (she is already introduced and the same sentence refers to the kingdom).
William of Tyre writes highly favorably about Melisende... Why? (His misogyny is mentioned in the section's secon sentence.) Borsoka (talk) 13:03, 20 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
... the patriarch decided... Name him because two patriarchs are mentioned previously.

Image review

File:Baldwin II of Jerusalem.jpg: US PD tag is needed; the source is a dead link. Borsoka (talk) 13:07, 20 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]