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Talk:Landmark (hotel and casino)/GA1

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 21:05, 3 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Opening statement

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In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use  Done,  Fixed, plus Added,  Not done,  Doing..., or minus Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. —♠Vami_IV†♠ 21:05, 3 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Pinging AJFU as the article author, since he wrote 95.3% of it. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 21:05, 3 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hello. I wasn't sure which of the templates to add to my replies. The only one that seemed relevant was "Not done", but I didn't want to imply that I was rejecting any of your suggestions. I've responded to some of your comments and have made some suggestions, but I haven't made any changes to the article, as the nominator may have other ideas for improvement.  AJFU  (talk) 15:19, 4 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Ah. Let's hear from the nominator then, and then you two can decide if the review should proceed or be quick-failed to get this out of the backlog. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 23:19, 4 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Hello. I'm the nominator. I might have some suggestions to improve this, but my suggestions may also need to be reviewed. I also wouldn't mind if this were to quick-failed to get out of the backlog. Lemonreader (talk) 13:23, 5 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
So far, the issues below don't seem that bad to me. They mostly appear to be easy fixes.  AJFU  (talk) 14:53, 5 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Alright! Let's play ball. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 11:07, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

As this the first of the reviewee's articles that I have reviewed, they should note that I am a grammar pendant and will nitpick in the interest of prose quality. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 12:55, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hello @Lemonreader: I was wondering if you have the time to participate in this review or if I should go ahead and take over entirely. I don't want to take this away from you if you're still interested in working on it.  AJFU  (talk) 14:24, 10 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@AJFU: I'm a little busy in here, but I think I can participate a bit. I've already done some parts recently, as seen below. You can do the rest. Thanks. Lemonreader (talk) 01:18, 11 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Article size

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This article is, frankly, massive at 162k bytes and 64 kB of prose. Many of the comments I will make will be made with the intention of shrinking the article. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 21:05, 3 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

History

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  • Footnote A has way too many citations.
  • In 1960, Kansas City builder Frank Caroll I am to assume that Mr. Caroll is from Kansas City and not that he built Kansas City. And is "builder" the best he can be described as?
  • Frank Caroll received a gaming license that year. Remove "Frank" here, he's already been introduced.
  • There seems to be some missing information between Caroll decided to build the Landmark and then building the Landmark. How did he pay for construction? Did he make he leases, or get some anchors for his shopping center?

Commencement

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  • The Landmark Apartments, with 120 units,[33] were also built near the tower and operational by the end of 1961.[28][34][35][36] This is not contentious enough to require four citations.
  • averaging 11 yards per hour Throw in a Template:Convert for our metric friends.
  • Beginning that month, while plans for a separate hotel structure were being made, concrete for the tower was poured on a continuous 24-hour schedule, averaging 11 yards per hour.[40][2] The concrete pour was done with a slip forming method. At the start of the pour, it was expected that 21 floors would be added to the tower over a 12-day period.[40] Construction on the tower was expected to reach the 24th floor by the end of the month.[2] Condense all this.
  • Each day, it took crews 18 minutes to be lifted up. Because of strong winds, it took work crews two months to attach the aluminum. Due to the winds, installation of the aluminum was frequently ended early on some days, and installation was impossible to perform on other days.[55] Condense this too.

Delay

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Resumption

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  • including Frank Caroll and his wife Sue Caroll, and L. P. Scherer Abbreviate; all three people here have already been introduced.
  • Construction was scheduled to resume on August 22, 1966.[62][63] Construction equipment was being prepared two days later,[26] and construction was underway again in early September 1966,[64] with completion expected in early 1967.[23] Condense.
  • The shops and taverns in the Landmark Plaza were closed,[4][65][66] and the shopping center was demolished,[4] [...] The nearby gas station was also demolished.[4] Combine.
  • which used 100,000 yards of concrete and 100 tons of steel. Cubic?

Further developments

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Opening and operation

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  • [...] crews from Southwest Gas Corporation inspected [...] the Southwest Gas Corporation.
  • Citations [139], [140], and [141] are repeated without interruption or need in the first paragraph of "Gas leak and fire".
  • The first four sentences of "Prospective buyers" all suffer from WP:Proseline. They all also take place in October of 1977. If possible, condense and combine these paragraphs into a single or two paragraphs, please.
  • Summa spokesman Fred Lewis said that Acro's bid was considered to be "more of an inquiry" than a serious offer,[157] a belief that was later disputed by Acro vice president Leonard Gale, who also said, "We realize the Landmark is the biggest lemon in Las Vegas. But we have a program that would be sensational and we know we could turn the place around."[158] Split this, and consider summarizing the second quotation.
  • [...] offered to pay all Landmark bills and debts [...] All the Landmark's debts.
  • Lou Tickel, a former magistrate judge Delete "Lou". Jo Ann Tickel is introduced in the following paragraph, so there's no need for "Lou" to be here.
  • However, the new owners had been unable to find someone with a gaming license and sufficient funds to continue operating the casino ahead of the sale's completion. The investment group had not yet applied with the county and state for gaming and liquor licenses, and Summa Corporation declined to continue operating the casino, citing a lack of interest in the property. Condense.
  • [...] began plans to purchase the resort. Made plans.
  • [...] but that the document mistakenly was never filed [...] Delete "mistakenly".
  • Later in the month, the Nevada Gaming Control Board delayed approval of Morris' purchase of the resort until his offer could be updated to include a $5 million payment for Summa – as part of his $18.4 million offer for the resort – to cover what Zula Wolfram owed to the company. Condense.
  • [...] to include a $5 million payment for Summa, to cover what Zula Wolfram owed to the company. We already know about the owed five million. Consider: [...] to include what Zula Wolfram owed to Summa.
  • I fail to see the relevance or need for the quote in "Morris ownership".
  • Morris spent nearly $3.5 million on a renovation of the Landmark,[187] which was underway in early December 1983. The resort remained open during renovations. Condense.
  • At the time, the casino offered its Single-Deck Blackjack Tournament, with a $57 entry fee. Casino manager Ron Nadeau said "we think this is the type of play that will catch on here. It is priced in a range that anyone can afford to join the action." Irrelevant.
  • In May 1985, the casino offered the "More Than $100,000 Craps Tournament".[188] Axe.
  • [...] which had failed to comply with fire safety standards [...] Redundant.
  • $2.1 lien 2.1 million dollars?
  • Every paragraph in the second half of "Morris ownership" starts with prose line.
  • Drexel Burnham Lambert Who?
  • Richard Davis, a Las Vegas real estate executive and owner of a funeral home, [...] Is the fact that Davis owned a funeral home really relevant here? The clause "a Las Vegas-based real estate agent" will suffice.
  • Ultimately, Droubay and Heckmaster's plan to purchase the Landmark did not come together. Rewrite.

Architecture

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  • The uniquely designed Landmark tower was the first of its kind to be built in Nevada; [...] This is rather vague. First of what type, exactly? Style of architecture?
    • The source simply calls it an "odd-shaped building" and the first of its kind in Nevada. Perhaps this would be clearer: The tower was considered oddly shaped, with its narrow structure and bubble dome. It was the first building in Nevada to have such an appearance.  AJFU  (talk) 16:41, 25 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • [...] the Space Needle tower [...] "Tower" is redundant here.
  • When it opened, the Landmark had a total of 400 slot machines. Swap the locations of "it" and "the Landmark".
  • [...] and a wall sculpture made of burnished metal that represented a launch from Cape Kennedy. Condense.
  • [...] as well as carved mahogany [...] Replace "as well as" with "and".
  • The interior, including the casino, was considered to be spacious. Irrelevant.
  • by perlite concrete and steel girders. There seem to be some missing commas here.
  • [...] Towers Restaurant was located on the 27th floor.[122][235] A Chinese restaurant, the Mandarin Room, operated on the 29th floor.[122][235] [122][135] repeated without cause here.
  • New red stripes were also added along the windows running up the tower and the roof was painted red to match. The entrance had red-lit outriggers added and a new side entrance was added to the casino.[citation needed] This needs to be supported or removed.

Performances

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GA progress

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References are reliable. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 01:47, 25 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

There are not disambiguation links present. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 01:47, 25 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Images are relevant to the article and are free/tagged. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 01:47, 25 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.