Wikipedia:Peer review/The Powerpuff Girls/archive2
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like suggestions for improving this article in any way possible. I'm one of the major contributors to this article and it would make me happy to see it upgraded to GA status.
Thanks, Paper Luigi Talk • Contributions 04:39, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
- Comments by Bradley0110
Hi, I've done a review of this article's structure and language but not a source review. Generally the article is good but it suffers from some indiciations of OR and synthesis; please see my inline comments in this diff. Below are some further comments:
- The lead currently doesn't summarise the article as it omits mention of Reception and Other media. "The series was been nominated for X Emmy Awards and Y Annie Awards during its run. Spin-off media include a feature film, an anime, as well as various licensed merchandise." should be suitable.
- Overview section should come before History section to give the reader a grounding in what the article is about.
- Please look through the prose of the article and pick out redundancies in the text; e.g. "The girls are frequently called upon by the town's childlike mayor, who will then request the girls to help fight nearby criminals using their powers." is fine without the italicised text.
- The History section jumps around quite a lot and isn't focused on the things it should be; the broadcast of the pilot is in parentheses for some reason and mention of the animation studio is relegated to the penultimate sentence.
- Did merchandising actually "encompass everything" or is this just hyperbole?
- Moving on to the Overview section, the entire paragraph about the location of Townsville is unsourced and constitutes orignal research. I doubt there is much in the way of reliable third party text on this subject but if there is you could incorporate that. Likewise the sentence regarding the animation style and comparisons to other series is unsourced.
- Characters section. Big pool of OR. It's very difficult to describe a fictional character's personality traits using episodes directly because there is always the chance of running into synthesis, e.g. "She is often seen as the most mature, level-headed, and composed member of the group, although she can at times be fussy, overbearing, petty, and too analytical." Are there any descriptions of the characters in reliable sources? Does the creator talk about their personalities at all?
- Reception is scant on the reviews, most likely these two were all that could be found on Google? If so, you could try asking at WT:TV if anyone has access to Newsbank or a similar database. Some further reviews may turn up. Nice work with the awards table. This should be sortable per WP:ACCESS and the years should have their own column.
- Other media: The last sentence of the anime section is unsourced and contains a time-dependent word ("currently" - is that currently now or currently six months ago?) and the Film section is unsourced.
Overall it's not a bad read. The groundwork is there for a successful GA but the prose and referencing need working on quite a lot. WP:GOCE may be able to help with prose. Bradley0110 (talk) 08:48, 7 June 2011 (UTC)