Wikipedia:Peer review/Kirkcaldy/archive4
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i want to see if the article still meets the requirements for a good article. If so, what further improvements do i need to make/consider before it is good enough for feature article criteria.
Thanks, Kilnburn (talk) 15:26, 22 June 2011 (UTC)
- Comments by Chipmunkdavis
- History
- To me "may suggest" sounds like a tautology, as suggests already contains the connotations of may.
- Add a date for the Battle of Raith.
- Mention Malcomn III was the King of Scotland
- Was Scotland under occupation by England? Is there a wikipedia article about this you can link to?
- "Maps from the 16th and 17th centuries, have recognised that even then, the shape of the town, consisting of a 0.9 mile (1.4 km) main street was described as a '"lang toun"'." needs to be reworded.
- A better explanation of what the 17th century political crisis was would be helpful, as well as a clarification of what a major setback is.
- Are the prices given in contemporary value?
- Government
- This section looks really good. The only thing I suggest is clarification of what the local government does, what services they provide etc.
- Geography
- How does a raised beach affect medieval town development?
- "A good mix of both private and public housing was guaranteed and having more smaller scale residential developments including land that applies to availability returns." Can this sentence be reworded? What does it mean?
- Is it possible to get a satellite photo as well as an estimate of size?
- Demography
- Is the second paragraph based off the same sources as the table? If so, indicate in text.
- More information, perhaps about religion or ethnicity, could be useful. Information on immigration if available should be provided too.
- Economy
- This again is a very good section. In terms of GA requirements it is definitely broad, and it looks to me to be comprehensive. I can only suggest statistics for each sectors growth/profit etc., and perhaps the rate of employment of the larger companies.
- Culture
- "is considered to be one of Scotland's finest museums" can be seen as WP:PEACOCKy. Finest in what sense?
- Is the wikilink from "Britain" to Great Britain correct?
- I suggest rewording the sports paragraph, it reads choppily to me, and I'm not sure phrases like "turned professional" are correct.
- Landmarks
- What religious and defensive roles has the medieval tower taken?
- What is the phrase "associated with or at one stage" trying to communicate?
- What out again for peacocky phrasing. The third to last paragraph has some questionable language, such as describing a building as "impressive".
- Again in the third to last paragraph, can you explain the listings? (A-list, B-list)
- Education
- What is a "Philp School"?
- "The school which is one of the best performing schools in Scotland" is sounding peacocky again. Who considers it the best, and why?
- Public services
- I suggest including this section with the governance section, but that's up to you.
- Is tap water supplied by the government?
- Transport
- Phrases like "south of the border" are better clarified with which border is meant.
- Notable people
- This section could use with slightly better organisation, and I'm not sure it's necessary to say a person is famous "in music" or "in broadcasting"; instead describe each person's actions.
This is a very detailed and well-sourced article, probably one of the best town articles I have read. I'm quite sure it stands up to all GA criteria, the most obvious issue being that there are some small paragraphs, which is discouraged by the MOS. With a few tweaks in prose, I think it'll be quite close to FA level. The above comments are simply suggestions, you may take them or leave them. At any rate, good luck, Chipmunkdavis (talk) 08:44, 27 June 2011 (UTC)