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Cherry on Top (Bini song)

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I nominated on FA but it failed, I will nominate this on FA once have a peer review on this article. Thanks!

Thanks, Royiswariii Talk! 09:08, 19 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Relayed

Hi, it's good to see some Bini songs getting some work done! Good job in successfully promoting this article to Good Article status. I believe there's still work to do to make this FA-worthy, but I have been looking at this article occasionally, and I do see great improvements.

Here are some things that I saw during a quick look. I don't know if I could do a full review, but these are the issues that caught my eye almost immediately:

  • I suggest removing the citation for the song's genre in the infobox and instead moving it down to the "Composition and lyrics" section and including it in the prose, as it is generally not done in most articles because those should've been mentioned in the body anyway.
  • The lyrics highlights the unique personality traits of a person, focusing on how these qualities make them irresistibly captivating and impossibe to get enough of. – Be careful of the words you are using. Some words could be dropped or rephrased here, like unique, irresistibly captivating, as they can be puffery (per WP:WTW). Also, impossibe is also misspelled.
  • "Cherry on Top" entered Billboard Philippines' charts... → "Cherry on Top" entered Billboard Philippines's charts... – (per WP:'s)
  • Remove any mention of "charts" from streaming platforms like Spotify and iTunes as "charts which rank material from a single vendor or network are generally unsuitable for inclusion in articles." (per WP:CHARTS)
  • The arrangement of the subheadings should be: Background → Composition and lyrics → Promotion and release (I would rename this as "Release and promotion") → Critical reception → Commercial performance → Music video → Accolades → Credits and personnel → Charts → Notes → References
  • There's a lot of information included in the article that can be perceived as trivial and miscellaneous, like for instance, The promotion also included a photoshoot clip with the caption, "All eyes on us! Our upcoming single 'Cherry on Top' is serving soon!", On August 7, the K-pop girl group Unis guested on a YouTube channel called "hello82", a platform dedicated to K-pop content. During their guest appearance,..., ...limited to the first 200 buyers only.... This could be dropped or paraphrased.
  • On August 7, the K-pop girl group Unis guested on a YouTube channel called "hello82", a platform dedicated to K-pop content. During their guest appearance,... This feels trivial and feels out of place in the "Promotion and release" section.
  • Make sure that whatever information you include in each paragraph, they are all related somehow. The last paragraph in the "Promotion and release" section delves into "Cherry on Top"-themed merchandise and suddenly mentions the performance of the song in a halftime show of an NBA game.
  • "Release history" section can be removed since the song was only released in one format. Convert this into prose and include it in the "Promotion and release" section; take for example Pagtatag!#Release and promotion.
  • The American bureau of the Philippine Daily Inquirer praised the music video for its depictions of Filipino cultural references despite its being aimed at international audiences. I think this should be moved to the "Music video" section, as it gives commentary to the song's MV, not to the song itself.
  • Other sections of the article are very short, which is very unexpected for a well-known song of a high-profile pop group, giving me the impression that the article is not yet well-researched and comprehensive enough.
  • Wherever possible, if other claims can be supported with other secondary reliable sources, such as Philippine Daily Inquirer, Manila Bulletin, Rappler, etc., please do so. ABS-CBN News is part of the parent company that Bini is being managed, which sometimes can present information with bias. Although, I am not ruling out the reliability of ABS-CBN News, what I'm just saying is to avoid such as much as possible (per WP:PSTS).
  • Ref 19: PEP.ph → Philippine Entertainment Portal

In terms of citation formatting, please use either a title case or a sentence case. Choose one and use it consistently throughout the article (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters and WP:TITLECAPS). For instance:

There's too many to mention, please do the same for the rest of the citations. Check the citations for Gento (song) for reference.

After a quick skim, I think the article still has a long way to meet the WP:FACRITERIA:

a. Well-written: Some parts of the prose is not as engaging as others
b. Comprehensive: The "Music video" and "Critical reception" could be expanded further
d. Neutral: There are instances that unnecessary puffery words are used, which make the article biased in some way
e. Compliant with Wikipedia's copyright policy: The copyvio report is at 45.4% (which is quite high), do check parts where you can paraphrase the information; avoid close-paraphrasing
c. Consistent citations: The formatting of some citations could be improved

Hope these comments were helpful. Do message me if you need further assistance. – Relayed (t • c) 15:21, 19 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@AstrooKai and Royiswariii: Pinging top contributors – Relayed (t • c) 15:24, 19 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Relayed! Its good to see you here reviewing this article. I'll try to address some of the mentioned issues here while Roy is away at the moment as I'm also preparing Pantropiko for GAN later this week. AstrooKai (Talk) 15:37, 19 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for your review, Relayed!
I will do this all tomorrow, however i have a question regarding on the lyrics, I couldn't find any sources regarding on lyric reviews on COT, they are just describing the lyrics and not specifically (e.g: chorus or on specific words). Could you help me what should I do? Royiswariii Talk! 15:40, 19 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
On August 7, the K-pop girl group Unis guested on a YouTube channel called "hello82", a platform dedicated to K-pop content. During their guest appearance,...
Where section appropriate to add this? Royiswariii Talk! 15:42, 19 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
It's better of on the Critical reception section, this part of the paragraph makes it more suitable for that section: During their guest appearance, the group reacted to the music videos from Filipino artists, including Bini. With emphasis on "the group reacted to". AstrooKai (Talk) 15:50, 19 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
 Done on the following:
See revisions 1263958030 and 1263958460. AstrooKai (Talk) 16:08, 19 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I suggest removing the citation for the song's genre in the infobox and instead moving it down to the "Composition and lyrics" section and including it in the prose, as it is generally not done in most articles because those should've been mentioned in the body anyway.
 Done.
  • The lyrics highlights the unique personality traits of a person, focusing on how these qualities make them irresistibly captivating and impossibe to get enough of. – Be careful of the words you are using. Some words could be dropped or rephrased here, like unique, irresistibly captivating, as they can be puffery (per WP:WTW). Also, impossibe is also misspelled.
 Done.
  • "Cherry on Top" entered Billboard Philippines' charts... → "Cherry on Top" entered Billboard Philippines's charts... – (per WP:'s)
WP:'s states that If a name ending in s or z would be difficult to pronounce with 's added (Jesus's teachings), consider rewording (the teachings of Jesus). Wouldn't it be hard to pronounce "Philippines's"?
 Done.
  • The arrangement of the subheadings should be: Background → Composition and lyrics → Promotion and release (I would rename this as "Release and promotion") → Critical reception → Commercial performance → Music video → Accolades → Credits and personnel → Charts → Notes → References
 Done, though it got me curious, why move Charts down the article? As for renaming Promotion and release, I will leave this to Royiswariii.
  • "Release history" section can be removed since the song was only released in one format. Convert this into prose and include it in the "Promotion and release" section; take for example Pagtatag!#Release and promotion.
 Done.
  • The American bureau of the Philippine Daily Inquirer praised the music video for its depictions of Filipino cultural references despite its being aimed at international audiences. I think this should be moved to the "Music video" section, as it gives commentary to the song's MV, not to the song itself.
 Done. This was already done actually by Danilmay in revision 1263058059 back in December 14, 2024, but was reverted by RFNirmala in revision 1263069139 with the edit summary: I don't see the need to move that sentence, which is a "critical reception" of the music video. The music video section aims to describe the video itself. Initially, I also thought that the Music video is aimed to describe the MV only.
These are the issues I have addressed, along with the reference issues which I already addressed earlier. As for the others, I would leave them for Royiswariii to work on for now. I will check back here again once I have time. AstrooKai (Talk) 17:18, 19 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
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