User:MPD

I apologize for the trouble I have caused, and I commit to living an austere and humble life from this point on. If I am permitted, I wish to start a family back in the U.S. and turn my writing ability towards family values novels. If not, I accept this also. If there are any tasks or professions the civilized world needs me to carry out, I am of course obligated. I am thankful for every day given, none of which is deserved.

Despite my quickness on the fly, I am very slow with the big things. My next step is to clean up my apartment and get to work on an age 0 to last week biography. I will await specific instructions on how to cover last week, if I am to do so at all.

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I'm sorry. Please don't kill me for this, but I didn't realize until I just my "Drafts" folder that all of you had been quoting to me from a novel I had written a month ago. I fell accidentally into one of the chapters ("Edgewater") after everybody started acting strangely. But I never applied for the job, I swear. I'm really not insane, and I'm really not flipping between characters. I live completely in this world, and all of my behavior, as surely as captured on tape, must surely seem a bit more natural if I'm not assuming that I'm going to be hired. But I am ready to work, and I haven't said a word about anything. Please don't kill me. I swear all of this is true.