User:CJMcKenna98/Aristotle's theory of universals/Dhernandez98 Peer Review

Peer review

General info

• Review for CJMcKenna98
• User:CJMcKenna98/Aristotle's theory of universals

Lead

Guiding questions:

I like some of the small changes you have made to the lead of the article which make the sentences read more smooth and make more sense. For instance, capitalizing the "Theory of Universals" makes sense to me. I'm not too sure that calling it a "classical" solution opposed to a "classic" solution would be preferable. Calling it classical to me insists a time period that is being attributed to the solution instead of a more ambiguous description as "classic." The mentioning of the Platonic Form in the lead seems a little out of place to me. Consider making a section that builds on the Platonic counter theory opposed to the brief mentioning in the lead. There also probably is some more overarching themes or ideas about the Theory of Universals that could be mentioned in the lead. I'd say that the lead is a good length but the Platonic Form part should be replaced with something a little more inciteful and descriptive about the theory.

Content

Some ideas I have for expanding the article include some possible applications of the theory. Perhaps consider where Aristotle's argument was used by other philosophers in order to strengthen their arguments. It seems like a pretty straight forward idea that definitely would have some impacts on other future philosophers which could be mentioned. Maybe you could also add some counter arguments as well, I think that'd be very beneficial. Wikipedia articles on Philosophy seem to me to be strengthened when they include other relevant counter example theories or oppositions. Some hyperlinks linking to the alternative views would be useful. Perhaps you could call the section "Alternative Theories" or something of that sort. The content itself is certainly relevant to the topic at hand, it's just a very short article that could be expanded on.

Tone and Balance

There's some wording I would consider changing. In the fourth sentence of the lead it says "Aristotle said" but I'd consider changing that to something more intellectual like "Aristotle argued in... that" or "Aristotle claimed." The following sentence starts with "All red things" but this could be changed to "For example, all red things..." The last sentence says "There is no Platonic Form of redness" but that doesn't sound right to me. Perhaps something like "There isn't a Platonic Form" or "Platonic Forms don't mention." There's a lot of other sentences that could benefit from some minor revisions like that so I'd consider reading through the article out loud to see if some re-wordings might be useful. There doesn't seem to be any biases in the article which is good. The tone is neutral and fact based.

Sources and References

Three external links for the article seems very low to me. There has to be some other sources that would be relevant to research in order to give more inspiration to the article but also just defend some of the other claims better. Consider viewing alternative summaries of the Theory in order to expand your knowledge and trigger your interest in expanding the article. There aren't any sources put at the end of any of the sentences in the article so adding those citations is certainly necessary as well. There are also some words in the Overview that could benefit from having a hyperlink attached to them to their respective Wikipedia articles. Some of the names in there might be useful to add hyperlinks to, as well as terms like "human beings, realism, and Aristotelian."

Organization

Some more organization could be useful for this article. Perhaps breaking up the lengthy overview into several sections to allow writers to expand more on each respective section. This would be a good start to inspiring others to work on the article some more since it's very short and unorganized right now. "Generalizations" is spelt "generalisations" so that could be changed. There are some run on sentences in the last paragraph which might benefit from being broken down. It's a little hard to follow some of the thoughts and they could be more concise. Overall, just adding some more sections would be very beneficial.

Images and Media

Under the "Meaning and the Problem of Universals" source in the external links section, there are some very useful images that you might wanna consider adding. The one that's on the article is good, but it's a little cartoonish. There most likely are some images that would be better than the one present. Especially since the one that's on there has Plato mentioned in it but Plato isn't really elaborated much on in the article. So if you are going to leave this image, consider adding more description to Plato's ideas of the world. The caption of the picture to me also isn't great. Maybe switch that up a little bit.

Overall impressions

Overall, I think this was a really great article to choose to work on. The content is especially rough but the themes and overview is accurate information from what I can tell. The bulk of the work to me would come from creating more sections in the article for other writers and yourself to expand upon. There are some re-wordings that would be very useful. Reading the article out loud made a big difference to me when thinking about the structure and wording of the sentences. A huge thing that should be done though is adding the sources to the end of sentences.