Talk:William Plumer Jacobs/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 03:06, 24 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Vigilantcosmicpenguin (talk · contribs) 00:43, 4 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 00:43, 4 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	References are listed with SFNs.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Earwig says 10.2%, but only proper nouns.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Article mentions the main points of Jacobs's career.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Article is stable.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Images are public domain or freely licensed.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Images depict William Plumer Jacobs.
	7. Overall assessment.

Initial comments

There are a few one-sentence paragraphs that should be merged with adjacent paragraphs.
You should probably link to Thornwell Orphanage in the body, not just the lead.
What makes Presbyterians of the Past a reliable source? It appears self-published; is Barry Waugh a reputed subject-matter expert?
This article relies heavily on Jacobs's diary. It looks like this primary source is mostly used appropriately, but I might suggest some omissions as I look through the article.
Perhaps add a photo of Presybterian College? Up to you.
I'll be doing some copyedits myself for grammar, conciseness, and clarity.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 01:09, 4 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Lead section

Jacobs was ~~first~~ licensed to preach The body doesn't technically say it was the first.
The second time you mention the First Presbyterian Church, you can probably remove "in Clinton".
Lead says "Clinton Library Association" but body says "Clinton Library Society".
I think Jacobs is credited as the school's founder can be removed, since the same fact is in the first paragraph.
Jacobs Hall, ~~present on the campus today~~
I think since the large number of children at the orphanage overcrowded First Presbyterian is too detailed for the lead.
Remove among other nicknames

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 01:09, 4 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Early life and education

I think the statement about his graduation in 1864 could be moved to the "Career section", since it'd flow better chronologically.
Aged 17, Jacobs was in attendance when the South Carolina General Assembly voted in convention to secede from the United States on December 20, 1860. He was a supporter of secession, and he wrote [...] → Jacobs supported secession from the United States; he was present when the South Carolina General Assembly voted to secede in 1860. He wrote [...]
Jacobs's quotes about the Battle of Fort Sumter and about being a "proud citizen" should be removed. This is undue weight on quotes not covered in secondary sources, and the fact that he supported secession is already clear.
The date March 15, 1862 is an unnecessary detail.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 02:02, 4 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Career

and began teaching Bible classes ~~around the same time~~
The fact about officiating his first wedding is not important.
I don't think it's worth mentioning his offers to preach in Georgia and Alabama, but I'm on the fence. I'd be okay with leaving it in.
The date March 7, 1872 is an unnecessary detail.
the idea of founding an orphanage in Clinton had been brought up some months earlier is an unnecessary detail.
Jacobs ~~was said to have~~ had an interest
The fact about the orphanage's first donation is not important.
Remove By February 1873, the school had grown to fifty students and three teachers. as it is about the school and not Jacobs himself.
In 1875, Jacobs began working as the clerk of the South Carolina Presbytery, an office he held for four years before taking up the same role at the Enoree Presbytery until 1897. → Jacobs worked as the clerk of the South Carolina Presbytery from 1875 to 1879, then at the Enoree Presbytery until 1897.
Remove the parentheticals (PCUS; the "Southern Presbyterian Church") and (PCUSA; the "Northern Presbyterian Church") since these short forms are not used.
Construction on the orphanage continued ~~throughout the rest of the year, and in January 1875 a date of October 1 was set as a target for its opening. The target was met~~, and Thornwell opened on October 1, 1875, housing ten orphan children.
Details of Thornwell's finances seem mildly unnecessary, but I can see why they warrant inclusion.
Remove Jacobs first mentioned the idea of "Clinton College" in his diary on May 29, 1874, and he expanded on this with an idea of turning Clinton High School into a college on July 3, 1875. In 1876, he set out a goal of laying the Clinton College cornerstone before May 28, 1885. Readers don't need to know the exact timeline of Jacobs's ideas; what matters is that he had the general idea.
The direct quote "organize the first of his college classes" could easily be paraphrased.
Lee was ~~shortly thereafter~~ made the first president of Clinton College.
which allowed it to confer degrees ~~for the first time~~
Remove In July 1885, Jacobs referred to the school as "Clinton Presbyterian College of South Carolina", and later that year he used a variant of the modern name for the first time when he called it "the Presbyterian College of Clinton, South Carolina". as it is unencyclopedic.
Remove Four new professors were added to the college in October 1885, including its new president, Robert Perry Smith. as it is about to the school and not Jacobs himself.
At this same meeting, Jacobs agreed to lecture weekly on "Bible themes". Unnecessary detail.
The paragraph starting with The college had grown to 80 students is cited only to Plumer's diary and contains details about the school and orphanage and not Jacobs himself. The whole paragraph can be removed.
By October 1894, the orphanage's assets had grown to over $17,000 (equivalent to $599,000 in 2023). is about the orphanage and not Jacobs himself.
Remove Earlier that year, Jacobs had remarked that the orphanage had grown to a size equivalent to that of the town of Clinton thirty years prior., not important at all.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 02:02, 4 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life and death

and contributed to their Crypt of Civilization. feels like coatracking.
~~Politically,~~ Jacobs supported
and was signed into law ~~several weeks later~~
One of his honorary degrees is mentioned in "Career" and one of them is mentioned in "Personal life". It'd make more sense for both of them to be mentioned in the same section.
Contemporary newspaper reports indicated that he died due to "an affection of the heart". → He died due to a heart disease.
Remove Jacobs is now the namesake of many aspects of the institutions which he founded and developed.
After several renovations, the building currently houses → As of 2024, the building houses
Jacobs's personal library ~~has been preserved and~~ is housed on campus Of course it was preserved if it's housed on campus.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 02:02, 4 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Source spotcheck

I'll be reviewing 8 randomly selected sources. As of this revision.

Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y
N This verifies the fact that Holmes worked at First Presbyterian Church, but it only briefly mentions Jacobs for a different reason, so it's OR to include it.
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y
Y

And every use of the Lynn 1924 source:

Y
Y
Y

Also: Presbyterians of the Past says he stopped working at Duncan's Creek and Shady Grove in 1873, rather than "by December 1868" as you said. It also says First Presbyterian Church dissolved in 1911, which should be included as useful context about why he retired. Both this source and Lynn mention that his father was a reverend, which might be worth including. Lynn also mentions that he got his job at the Carolinian when he was in his junior year; this detail might make the prose flow better.
Placing this on hold for now. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 03:36, 4 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]