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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 17:33, 17 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Actuall7 (talk · contribs) 06:26, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]


Hello, I would like to review this article. Actuall7 (talk) 06:26, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

initial checks

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  • The image is sourced properly.
  • Earwig gives 5.7% of copyvio.

lead

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  • "United States, owned by Pensacola State College" -> "United States, which is owned by Pensacola State College"
  • Should Florida and Alabama be linked in Pensacola, Florida, and Robertsdale/Mobile, Alabama?
  • "Pensacola Junior College, and it provided" -> "Pensacola Junior College, where it provided"

History

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  • Escambia County, Florida should be linked
  • "was among the last" -> "was among one of the last"
    • Disagree: your proposed wording is too verbose, and I'd actually change in the opposite direction if I saw it at GAN.
      • I see, thanks for clarifying.
  • "at Pensacola Junior College (PJC), and PJC would" maybe simplify to -> "at Pensacola Junior College which would"
  • "Pensacola ETV system" -> what is ETV?
    • Written out as "educational television"
  • "a fourth-grade science class offered in 1968" -> "a fourth-grade science class that was offered in 1968"
  • "NET was supplanted" and "DVS-capable PBS stations"-> what is NET and DVS?
    • Fixed with acronym on first mention.
  • Closed-circuit should be linked
    • Disagree. Closed-circuit television is really about surveillance, which is the common meaning of the term these days, so it is not a suitable link target.
      • Sorry, I suggested linking closed-circuit as I'm not too familiar with its meaning.

References

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  • The Pensacola Journal, Pensacola News Journal, Press Register, NBC News, Federal Communications Commission, and Newspapers.com should be linked.
    • I don't link Newspapers.com, even in FAs, so I don't think it's necessary. All publications now linked on first mention only (for News Journal, the first joint paper available). I also fixed some of the early joint papers to correctly render the masthead, which at the time was hyphenated. Comments to here: Sammi Brie (she/her • tc) 08:04, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.