Talk:Theresa Andrews/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:32, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

Comments

• The lead is very short, two sentences is not really enough to summarise this whole article.

•  Done Expanded the lead to reference her Maryland roots and college career. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• Her height is listed as 5 ft 5.5 in in the Sports Reference external link.

•  Done Tweaked for precision to avoid the metric/standard conversion rounding errors. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• The x in 4 x 100 m should be a multiplication symbol.

•  Done Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• Larson's article hyphenated age-group when used in a similar manner.

•  Done Hyphenated for consistency. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• Ellipsis in quote should really be an ellipsis, and not " . . . "

•  Done This is one of those goofy MOS issues: American style guides consistently space the three periods of an ellipsis, but MOS does not. Ironically, it does not affect how the ellipsis is rendered by Wikipedia graphics either way. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• If Murray Stephens trained so many elite swimmers, why does he not have an article, or not red-linked?

•  Done Red-linked. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• "to attend the Indiana University in" is "the" needed here?

•  Done The article adjective is not used for Indiana University -- not sure how I missed that. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• You link backstroke in the lead and then don't link any of the other events, such as medley, breaststroke, freestyle, butterfly...

•  Done Linked for the other members of Andrews' medley relay team. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• "she would win two gold medals.[11] She won her first gold" repetitive, plus always mildly curious why "would win" should be better than "won".

•  Done There is an argument to made that the past conditional tense (reflecting a future event from the viewpoint of a past time) is properly used here, but I have simplified per your suggestion. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• No need to relink Caulkins nor repeat her first name.

• De-linked the second instance of "Tracy Caulkins," but we still need to use her full name to distinguish Tracy from her sister Amy, who is also mentioned in the college swimming career section. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• Avoid single-sentence paragraphs.

•  Done Combined single-sentence paragraphs per your suggestion. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• "therapeutic recreation" I have no idea what this is at all. Is there a link or some kind of explanation as to what this means?

•  Done Pipe-linked to recreational therapy article. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• Link MBNA America and Bank of America.

•  Done Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• "currently " avoid if possible, see WP:ASOF.

•  Done Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• Another single-sentence paragraph.

•  Done Eliminated. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

All minor tweaks. I'll put the article on hold for a week. The Rambling Man (talk) 11:47, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

• @The Rambling Man: Thank you for your review. I believe I have addressed all of your concerns raised above. Please let me know if you have any additional questions, comments or suggestions. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)