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Talk:The Bitch Is Back (Veronica Mars)/GA1

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Reviewer: Reviewer: Numerounovedant (talk · contribs) 14:16, 9 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Infobox
  • Can you try and find an image for the article?
  • Are you talking about a non-free screenshot? I have one in mind—the final scene involving Veronica walking through the rain—due to the commentary about its ambiguity and the imagery. However, I just want to make sure that's what you're talking about. :) Johanna(talk to me!) 03:47, 10 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, that is what I meant. NumerounovedantTalk 13:56, 10 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Done Johanna(talk to me!) 23:05, 10 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Trim the caption? It's redundant and the information is clearly presented in the prose. NumerounovedantTalk 05:00, 11 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Get rid of the reference for featured music as it's mentioned in the prose.
  • Important Field missing -Running Time (with a reference)
Lead
  • mention the episode number, both for the season and the series overall.
  • I believe that I have mentioned in the first sentence how it is the twentieth episode of the season and the 64th overall--what do you think is missing?
I misread the line, It is perfectly fine! NumerounovedantTalk 13:56, 10 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "episode premiered on The CW on May 22, 2007, directly after the previous episode, “Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down”." - does that mean it aired as two-part series finale with the previous episode? If so, needs re-phrasing.
  • "In this episode, Veronica investigates who posted a sex tape of her and Piz (Chris Lowell)" - investigates who posted sounds abrupt
  • Altered to "Veronica investigates the origins of..."
  • "In its original broadcast, the episode received 2.15 million viewers and mostly positive reviews from television critics." - At the time of its original broadcast, the episode was viewed by 2.15 million people and recieved mostly positive reviews from television critics.
Synopsis
  • "Synopsis" - "Plot"
  • Done
  • Can use some clean-up and polishing in parts.
Work needed! Put your queries if you need help NumerounovedantTalk 13:56, 10 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"@Johanna: Change the first sentence start with... " "The Bitch Is Back" opens with Logan informing... "
  • In a paragraph try and use the noun just once, use pronoun to refer to the noun at all other occasions. (If there are too many names try using pronoun in the paragraph till a new noun is not used.) I have edited the first paragraph for reference here-

...informing Veronica about the sex tape of her and Piz and hands her a DVD, although she berates him and denies that this is the truth. She views the tape and goes to visit Piz, who is badly bruised. She makes sure that Piz did not upload the tape, which he confirms. After learning that Logan attacked Piz, Parker visits Logan's hotel room and tearfully breaks up with him, claiming that he still loves Veronica. Veronica goes to Logan's hotel room angrily, yells at him for beating up Piz, and declares that she does not want him in her life anymore. She confronts Dick about where he got the sex tape, and he reveals that he got it from Chip Diller before forwarding it to his whole address book. She traces it back to someone who will not tell her the name of the original uploader. She gets Weevil to destroy the car of this student, and he gives her a name, who she later wiretaps. Put up any queries you may have. NumerounovedantTalk 05:00, 11 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Production
  • "co-written by series creator Rob Thomas and Diane Ruggiero " - mention Ruggiero as producer.
  • "Thomas tried to create an episode so ambiguous" - use pronoun.
  • Changed to "an episode which ended on such an ambiguous note that..."
The pronoun was needed for Thomas, also your earlier syntax worked better just change "Thomas" to "he" NumerounovedantTalk 13:56, 10 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Done Johanna(talk to me!) 23:05, 10 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • " and we discover that" - and 'the viewers' discover.
  • "Thomas had initially planned for Veronica to be in the FBI at the hypothetical season seven ..." = new paragraph required.
  • "a group of fans calling themselves the "Cloud Watchers" sent more" - 'who called themselves.
Reception
  • "In its original broadcast" - 'At the time'.
  • "received 2.15 million" - 'was viewed'.
  • "This was a ratings" - 'This was "however" a ratings".
  • Alan Sepinwall can be linked.
@Numerounovedant: Thanks for picking this up for a review! I am not sure what the specific problems are, but I'll be happy to respond to any concerns! Johanna(talk to me!) 19:08, 9 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The article (especially in the lead, production, and reviews) has evidences of WP:WEASEL (Weasel words), like some, many say/said, which indicate speculation, and they need rephrasing. Will got through the article again, once the queries are answered. NumerounovedantTalk 20:07, 9 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Johanna: I think this point has not been addressed. I see occurrence in the lead itself in the line "Many praised..." Tell me if you need more details here! NumerounovedantTalk 05:00, 11 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Final comments

After the last few suggestions have been implied, I will be happy to pass the article! Great work done till now! NumerounovedantTalk

@Numerounovedant: I have fixed your remaining comments, I believe. I fixed the weasel words thing by removing that sentence from both the lead and the Reception section, altered the A.V. Club sentence. I am also finished with the pronoun thing in the plot section. I trimmed the caption some, but I think it's important to note the imagery of the scene here because readers might instantly wonder "why is this image/screenshot important?", especially if they haven't seen the episode. This sort of explanation is modeled on the use of screenshots in FAs "The Stolen Earth" and "Homer's Phobia", among others. Johanna(talk to me!) 16:45, 11 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@Johanna: All my queries were addressed in a satisfactory manner, well done! It was already a well compiled article and now with the improvements has been an interesting read as well! It was a smooth sailing with you and a pleasure to work, looking forward to work with you again in the future! NumerounovedantTalk 17:04, 11 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]


GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
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