Talk:Terrible Towel/GA1

GA Review

GA Review by SRX^--^Latino Heat

Lead

Since its invention, The Terrible Towel has spread in popularity; fans often take their Towel to famous sites while on vacation. - This is original research, unless sourced, this sounds like a opinion.
- It is cited in the "Widespread recognition" section. As the intro is just an overview it doesn't need to be cited twice. Black ngold29 01:21, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The Towel has been taken to the peak of Mount Everest and seen on Saturday Night Live. - Why is this important to the article, and what does it say about the towel?
- Just a few examples to back up the above statement. Black ngold29 01:21, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Proceeds from sales of the Towel have raised over $2 million for a Pennsylvania school which cares for people with mental retardation and physical disabilities. - The currency used needs to be identified, a link to United States dollar would due good here.
- Done
Terrible Towel is credited with being the first "rally towel", its success has spawed similar trends. - Spawed? Is "spawned" meant here?
- Spawned? It initiated, began... That seemed like the best way to describe it to me. Black ngold29 01:21, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yes, but spawned is the correct word. Spawed is not a word.--SRX^--^Latino Heat 01:43, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done, stupid oversight on my part, gotta work on that "reading" thing.

Origin

In the weeks leading up to the game, Cope advertised the idea of the towel to fans on the radio and evening TV news, using the phrase "The Terrible Towel is poised to strike!" - per WP:ACRONYM, TV shouldn't be abbreviated, it should be spelled out, to "television".
- Done
Also against the idea of the Towel, Andy Russell mirrored Cope's original thoughts, "We're not a gimmick team. We've never been a gimmick team." - this can be reworded, Also against the ideas of the Towel, was Andy Russell who mirrored ..........and so on.
- Done
Growing nervous about the negative feedback, Cope, who had already advertised the towel on the news multiple times, polled the rest of the players with a "banana-republic vote", - what does banana-republic vote mean here?
- Doesn't the quote pretty much sum it up? He just faked it basically. That was the term that he used in his book, and I don't know of any comprable terms. Black ngold29 01:27, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Either way, it should be elaborated and explained for someone who is not aware of what that term means, if its faked, then it should be noted.--SRX^--^Latino Heat 01:46, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    - I chanded the sentence to "Cope, who had already made up his mind to use the towel...". Does that work? I think Cope knew that it would ultimately be a good idea, but I don't want to put words in his mouth. Black ngold29 02:01, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      - Do not use original research, you should just elaborate what the term means, nothing else.--SRX^--^Latino Heat 02:02, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        I don't really know how to say it then. He said "What we need here is a banana-republic vote" and then proceed with the story about Bradshaw. Ah, how about adding this link: Banana republic? That seems to be pretty accurate. Black ngold29 02:07, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        That would definately work.--SRX^--^Latino Heat 02:19, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        Done
The Towel made its debut on December 27, 1975, in a playoff game against the Baltimore Colts. - no comma is needed here
- Done
If possible, the poem should be put in a quote box.
- I wanted to have it centered, but couldn't find a quote box template that would do that (I don't want the one I used above with the big quotes, as it isn't a spoken quote) Suggestions? Black ngold29 01:27, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Well if you want it centered, you should place the spoken quote in a {{quote box}} and embed it in the prose, and leave the poem as is, as in it's current format it takes up too much space.--SRX^--^Latino Heat 01:46, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done. Why couldn't I find that...
      - Not quite, I said put the "spoken quote" the one before the poem in the quote box, and leave the poem as it is.--SRX^--^Latino Heat 01:57, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        How's that? Black ngold29 02:13, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        Almost, embed it in the prose like it is in the "Honoring Cope" section.--SRX^--^Latino Heat 02:19, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        Oh, I see. I kind of wanted that section to stand out, as it's basically part of the prose. I would prefer it centered, but if you think it should be embedded than we can leave it as is. Black ngold29 02:31, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I see what you mean, I think it is better centered, Im sorry, you can leave it centered.SRX^--^Latino Heat 02:46, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Rights and proceed

This prompted Gimbels department store began to market "The Official Myron Cope Terrible Towel" during the 1976 season - reword here, the sentence does not flow due to the past tense, it should either be "to begin marketing" or "This prompted the marketing of "The Official Myron Cope Terrible Towel" by Gimbels department store.
- Done - Probably just a typo on my part.
During the 2005 season, when the Steelers won their fifth Super Bowl, over 1 million Towels were sold; with some fans buying 200 at a time. - reword, "as some fans bought 200 Towels at a time."
- Done

Opposition

The Steelers went on to win the game by 20 points. - source?
- Done
Pittsburgh went on to make a comeback victory, not allowing the Bengals another point the remainder of the game. - needs to be reworded, how about "After the touchdown, the Bengals were unable to score again, as the Steelers defeated them (whatever the score was ??-??)." It flows and sounds better. Plus, it sounds like Original research.
- Reworded, but I think the part about the comeback is important, so I left it in. Black ngold29 01:35, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Similar gimmicks

During the 2006 playoffs, in a game against the Steelers, the Indianapolis Colts handed out blue towels to fans; Pittsburgh won the game. - should flow more, mayby like "though" should be used after fans, and the semicolon should be changed to a comma.
- Reworded

References

The book used as a source in the article should be used in the {{citebook}} template, with the author, page number, publisher, etc.
- I'm not sure I understand, it is listed as the first ref with the {{citebook}} template. Black ngold29 01:42, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Any other references to the book, should also be in that template, as many references are not in that format.
- I see, but you dont have it bulleted.
  - Done
- They're done per WP:CITE#Shortened notes. Black ngold29 01:42, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Okay.SRX^--^Latino Heat 01:49, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Many of the references have parameters that are not used, those should be removed from the reference if not used.
- Done
Because more than 20 refs are used, you should use the {{reflist}} with 2 colums, {{reflist|2}} Also, have you removed the unused parameters I stated above?--SRX^--^Latino Heat 01:58, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Done

Closing Comments GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
Per the many concerns above.

B. MoS compliance:
Per the many concerns above.
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
There was one instance above where there wasnt a ref to a source.

C. No original research:
Many instances above.
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
POV issue above
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
On Hold-I will give this article a week before I pass/fail. Currently it needs work to meet the GA criteria, if the above concerns are addressed, I may pass/fail it.SRX^--^Latino Heat 01:10, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

You have not responded to the reference concerns.--SRX^--^Latino Heat 13:49, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ok very well,

Pass.--SRX^--^Latino Heat 21:36, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]