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Fix second paragraph of lead?

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@GrammarFascist: could you (or anyone else reading this talk page!) give me a bit of a hand? This article needs work, and I recently found a couple of good recent sources to add a "Facilities" section and discuss the development of a low background facility.

But I'm currently stuck on the second paragraph of the lead, which is comparing SNOLAB to other facilities. It was first written when SOLAB was the deepest but was expected to be surpassed by DUSEL. Then NSF funding for DUSEL got yanked and it scaled back to the shallower Sanford Underground Research Facility, so SNOLAB was deepest. Then CJPL was opened, deeper than SNOLAB, so the paragraph got hastily revised to not make false claims.

The current result seems cluttered. I don't know if I should find a way to rearrange it to fit all the information in one paragraph, split the paragraph, move part of it out of the lead, or just delete part entirely.

A more detached perspective would be greatly appreciated. Any comments or edits to the rest are welcome, but I think just untangling that one paragraph would be enough to get me moving. Thank you! 71.41.210.146 (talk) 02:21, 4 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I worked on the lead (and made a few other minor tweaks) and I think that second paragraph now works as a paragraph. It's a lot of information that doesn't appear in the body, though, so I think that whole paragraph should be moved into the body somewhere — maybe the History section — and a brief mention that SNOLAB is "the second-deepest underground research facility" left in the lead. I also think one consistent citation style should be used (which I'd be happy to do); my preference is for authors to be given as Lastname, Firstname; Family Name, F.I.; Surname, Forename; etc., but I'm fine with a different style so long as it's consistent within the article. I also think journal names should be given in full, as the expansions are not always obvious to readers without an academic background. Thanks for inviting me to collaborate on this interesting little article. —GrammarFascist contribstalk 20:05, 6 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
@GrammarFascist: Thanks! The bit about "next eighteen years" until 2010 is wrong, as SNO hadn't finished excavation in 1992, and SNOLAB didn't exist, but you definitely cleaned up the narrative. I'll see if I can move some of it into the history.
I'll try to fix the names, although it's always grating to use "first=" and "last=" parameters with Chinese names where the family name properly comes first. 71.41.210.146 (talk) 21:06, 6 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
@GrammarFascist: Moved it to history, yay. Now for that expansion... 71.41.210.146 (talk) 01:21, 7 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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