Jump to content

Talk:Rutgers University Marching Scarlet Knights

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

[edit]

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Ahouston5. Peer reviewers: Annie Nova, AAman45.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 03:14, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Reviews

[edit]

This is a good start and I like that you have an infobox and picture. The picture seems kind of awkward though- maybe put it inside the infobox? Overall, it looks very organized and professional. You split up the sections well and I like the use of bullet point and short paragraphs. I'm guessing the term "stands tune" is a specific band term, but non-band people might not understand what that means and think it's improper grammar. Annie Nova (talk) 19:16, 4 November 2015 (UTC)Annie Nova[reply]

I would like to see a section on how to join the band. Is there an audition? Do you have to fill out an application? Maybe talk about the band camp that is required. Do students have to keep a certain GPA to stay in the band? I would also add how many members there are in the band. AAman45 (talk) 01:57, 9 November 2015 (UTC)AAman45[reply]


In regards to the lead:
I would move the second sentence ("Students of all academic...") further down in the paragraph. It seems like there should be more important information that could come after the initial sentence. Maybe something about how long the band has been around? I mostly think your lead should be longer. If this is how short the intro is, I'm worried about how much content you'll have for the rest of the page. I would mention the history (such as the date of founding), which you could turn into its own section later on in the article. Maybe add the location of Rutgers in the first sentence or mention it shortly after. Thepunalsorises (talk) 18:00, 23 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Comments by Daclausen
I would second the above comments. Your lead probably needs expanding, and remember that it doesn't need citations: everything in the lead should also be available in the body of the article. You probably also need the information that AAman45 suggests--perhaps a section on current status rather than history. Remember that people who land on this page need to be able to know both the ways in which this band is a typical college marching band (and what that is, I for one am very ignorant) and the ways in which it is unique and particular. Daclausen (talk) 16:22, 11 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review #2

[edit]

I think this is an absolutely well written article, you avoided puffery and editorializing which are very easy to do when talking about institutions or something that has pride attached to it. The references look solid in terms of amount of secondary sources. Moving forward I would just insert things that currently happen to the band so the article can stay up to date.- eo — Preceding unsigned comment added by Eodhiambo (talkcontribs) 17:44, 7 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]