Talk:River Raid/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 19:47, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Andrzejbanas (talk · contribs) 01:23, 16 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 06:23, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.

Copy changes

Lead

River Raid was one of the best selling-games of 1983, and the second best-selling Atari 2600 video game of the year after Ms. Pac-Man.
- Fix the hyphenation ("best-selling games").

Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

- Remove the comma (WP:CINS).

Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Gameplay

As the river progresses, there will be less fuel tanks. Should be "fewer" fuel tanks

Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Development

Shaw had started programming in High School Don't capitalize high school in this generic mention.
Add a comma after "in BASIC" for reading.

Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

bachelor's degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science No need to capitalize these common terms.

changed. done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

there had not been many that have done that Switch "have" to "had" to match the tense of the rest of this sentence.

Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

the Atari VCS version This is the first—and only—mention of VCS instead of 2600.

Good catch. The Atari 2600 was originally released as the Atari Video Computer System, and later re-branded the 2600 after the release of the 5200 (one month before the release of River Raid.) (By my experience, slightly more referred to as the 2600 in retrospective commentary). In some articles i've worked on, I say VCS, but in this case, Atari 2600 is probably the way to go. Changed to 2600 here.Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Release

It was released for the Atari 800 line of computers in September 1983, and both the Atari 5200 and Intellivision in December 1983. Remove comma CinS

Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

In West Germany, the "law for protection of the youth" Odd use of quotes. Is there a more idiomatic presentation of this translated title? Law for the Protection of Youth, perhaps?

Sure. I'm not too particular, i'll change it and see how it looks. I'm sure someone with more familiarity with rules and regulations of these kind of terms will spot us on this if we are way off here. :) Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

River Raid was the top-selling Activision game of 1983, and the second best-selling game for the Atari 2600 in 1983 Remove comma CinS

Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

No need to capitalize "Number".

Oops, very true. changed. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

E.C. Meade of Videogaming Illustrated praised the games for its Should be "game" singular.

True. I can double check, but I'm pretty sure its only referring to one version of the game. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Complete the appositive with a comma after Zaxxon.

Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Michael Blanchet of Electronic Fun with Computers & Games wrote that the game similar to many other games the market, but stood out due to its everchanging scenery and constant shift in strategy. Try ...wrote that the game was very similar to others on the market but stood out due to its ever-changing...

Done. Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Made a few cleanups here directly: some grammar errors and MOS:LOGICAL fixes.

Went through your edits and they all seem non-controversial for me. Thank you for taking the time to do it. :) Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Sourcing and spot checks

Due to the heavy offline source use, I was only able to review [29] in my spot check. No issues. The remaining citations look to be from reliable sources.

Images

The two images (cover art and screenshot) have valid NFURs (the second does not use a template and maybe should). Seems the Shaws contributed the other two photos. Encouragement: Add alt text to photos.

Alt text added. As the texts have written information in the statuettes and placques, I've tried to make out what they say to the best I could and have that displayed in the alt tags. And yes, I think this was around the time her or her family may have been contacted by the a video game history foundation or a museum. What a real joy to stumble upon these in the commons for the article. Normally I wouldn't put two pictures of one person in an article, but I feel like these images are too good to pass up. I've cleaned up some other citation info and tried to apply some other retrospective reviews that I've found or have been found by others on the talk page. I hope that doesn't complicate your review too much @Sammi Brie:! Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:55, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Did some tidying up of the new alt text and some more grammar cleanup. Going to pass. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 19:47, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Sammi Brie: I see a bunch of other online refs like Symonds, and all three Weiss refs (used in 5 diff sfn), so I would prefer if you check some of them. Also, even if they weren't, you could ask for them to provide only the text or page or something from the offline sources. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 19:56, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I've had way too many reviews on my brain (this and three of my own articles in progress). I checked 43, 48, and 57 after this and found no issues. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 20:23, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.