Talk:Mozaffar-Hosayn Mirza/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Amir Ghandi (talk · contribs) 05:08, 19 November 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Borsoka (talk · contribs) 02:41, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it well written?

   A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

   B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:

2. Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?

   A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

   B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):

   C. It contains no original research:

   D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

   B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:

5. Is it stable?

   It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Image review

• File:9 Hashim. Mirza Rustam Safavi. (1569-1641) LACMA 1635-40.jpg: US PD tag is needed; could the source be more specific?
  • Done

Source review

• Academic sources of high standard are cited. The article is primarily verified by secondary sources, although primary and tertiary sources are also cited.
• According to the contemporary historian Iskandar Beg Munshi, Ismail had sent the orders for the murder of Mozaffar and his remaining brothers, however before the order could be executed, he died in 1577. Could you add a second citation to a secondary or tertiary source? Borsoka (talk) 02:50, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

I couldn't find anything. Amir Ghandi (talk) 08:50, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

• Reference 1: the source says that Mozaffar was born around 1563 (not in 1563).
  • Changed

Could you please quote the texts from the cited sources verifying the following statements?

• Ismail initiated a purge of his male family members, in fear of their potential threat to his rule.
  • "Less than two months after his enthronement, Esmāʿil II ordered the execution of all male members of the royal family"
• Urged by the powerful groups of Kandahar, who wanted Soltan Hosayn's offspring to continue their rule, Khodabanda split the province of Kandahar between Mozaffar and his younger brother, Rustam Mirza; the eastern half of the province with Kandahar itself were given to Mozaffar and Rustam received the western half with the Zamindawar and Garmsir districts.
  • ". Therefore in 1577, and in accordance with the provisions of Sultan Hussein Mirza (who had died of natural causes), his eldest surviving son Muzaffar Mirza received the eastern half of the province with Qandahar city itself, while the second son, Rustam Mirza, received the western districts of Zamindawar and Garmsirat. The new shah, Muhammad Khodabandeh, confirmed his cousin’s last will." Then in Note. 35: "He was also urged to do so by the Qandahar oligarchy itself, who did not want the two princes to be sent to Qazvin"
• Simultaneously, the defection of Rustam had encouraged the Mughal emperor Akbar to send an army to Kandahar.
  • "After Rustam's defection to India, the Mughal emperor Akbar decided it was time to sent an expeditionary force to Qandahar"
• The most accomplished of his sons was Mirza Haidar, who at the time of his death in 1631 had the mansab of 1000.
  • This is actually a list

    Sorry, I do not understand. What is the difference? Borsoka (talk) 06:59, 18 January 2025 (UTC)

    • ‌ The page is a list of columns: names; mansab; source; date of death. Of all of Mozaffar's children, Haider's mansab is the grandest and his date of death is recorded at 1631.

Borsoka (talk) 05:25, 18 January 2025 (UTC) Comments

• I would clarify that his father was the Safavid governor of Kandahar.
  • Doesn't the following sentence clarify it?
• Introduce Kandahar as a province. The text of subsequent sentences shows that Kandahar is a province in the context, but it is linked to the article about the town.
  • Well, the borders of the modern Kandahar province are different than the ancient one, that's why its linked to the city. I added a 'province' after the first mention.
• He was a member of... Who?
  • Clarified
• ...however before the order could be executed, he died in 1577 Rephrase and avoid "however".
  • Done
• Per the request of... Rephrase.
  • Done
• ...the oligarchs... Rephrase.
  • Done
• Hamza Beg made contact with the Mughal emperor, Akbar, who had been approached by the Uzbeks of Bukhara to conquer Kandahar, reassuring him that the commercial traffic was stable despite the rapid political changes. Rephrase or split (1. The Uzbeks approach Akbar to (?). 2. Hamza sent envoys to Akbar to (?), and reassured him...)
  • Done
• Attribute the quote ("good faith") to somebody, or delete the quotation marks.
  • Removed the qoutations marks
• ...who had a difficult relationship with Mozaffar... Why?
  • The source doesn't mention anything
• ...to the Mughal court Where?
  • Added
• ...Akbar recalled him... Had he previously visited the Mughal court? If yes, make it clear.
  • Recalled as in 'officially order (someone) to return to a place'.
    • Oh, my bad. Changed the word to 'summoned'.
• ...like his brother... Delete.
  • Done
• ...leaving Rustam Mirza as the absolute head of his family in India Had they previously been reconciled? If yes, make it clear. Is the adjective necessary?
  • 1) the source doesn't mention anything 2)deleted the adjective
• Introduce Patna as an Indian city.
  • Done
• One of his daughters... Whose?
  • Clarified
• (Lead): ...he was able to kill Hamza Beg and capture Rustam's lands... Rephrase: "...killed...and captured..."
  • Done
• (Lead): He died in 1600 in India, five years after his exodus from Iran. I would delete it. Instead I would mention that his son and grandson became high-ranking aristocrats in the Mughal Empire. Borsoka (talk) 02:43, 15 January 2025 (UTC)
  • Done