Talk:Labyrinth (1986 film)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Lemurbaby (talk · contribs) 18:45, 24 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Comments

~~"A manga-style sequel to the film, Return to Labyrinth, was released by Tokyopop between 2006 and 2010" - unclear, please rephrase~~
"a prequel graphic novel is currently in development by Archaia Studios Press." - avoid using "currently", as this could become quickly outdated. Maybe, " in (X year), ARchaia Studios Press announced they were in the process of developing a prequel graphic novel."
~~The plot summary can be condensed further by removing non-essential details.~~
"Michael Moschen performed in the film as Jareth's hands and carried out the elaborate crystal-ball contact juggling manipulations." - He wasn't Jareth's hands all the time, only for the ball juggling. Please rephrase.
Overlinking - please only wikilink on the first instance in the lead and first instance in the remainder of the article.
Make sure all dates are displayed in a consistent way (i.e. day, month, year) in your citations and throughout the article text
I would recommend putting all URLs into webcite and then using the archiveurl= and archivedate= fields in your citation templates to enter the archived url information so that readers will always be able to access your sources even if the urls change or are removed at some point in the future.

I agree this can be completed when you are at FA level. It's not mandatory for GA but I'd recommend doing it as soon as you can since two refs just went dead a couple of weeks ago.

~~Be consistent in using either British or American English spellings.~~
Inside the Labyrinth - a documentary on the making of Labyrinth is an incomplete reference. There is a citation template for DVDs or TV shows that could help you to make this complete. The Allmusic.com reference, the box office mojo refs, AFI top 1- ref, DVDIzzy ref, Mania blu-ray ref, the "Muppet Wiki Page for Nice to Have Gnome You" ref, the "Entertainment Weekly" ref, the "A Preview Of Archaia’s Next Labyrinth Comic" ref and the "Muppet Wiki Page on Labyrinth Home Releases" ref are also incomplete. Ditto for refs 59-62 and 65-66.

Refs are starting to shape up. There's still more work to be done - see below.

use "pages=" for page ranges and "page=" for a single page number in refs
~~I would recommend you change the bulleted list of David Bowie compositions to prose to better integrate them into the flow of the article~~
~~Some additional references are needed where indicated~~
~~Clarification - did Jareth send Hoggle to free Sarah from the oubliette? Or was it a chance meeting? (I can't recall him sending Hoggle).~~

Hi, thanks for your detailed comments. I have been working on rectifying some of the things you have pointed out, and will quickly summarise what I have done-

Cleaned up prose re: Return to Labyrinth in the lead in - does it read better now?

I added some edits as well and I think it's ready to go.

Changed wording of references to prequel comic in lead-in.

Okay

I tightened the plot summary - it's now under 700 words.

Added some edits here too and it's ready to go.

Hopefully clarified section to do with Michael Moschen's role.

Yes, this is clearer

Purged unnecessary links (I think I got all of them - please point out if I missed any). The only exception to the only link the first reference I'm going for is that I'm allowing a name to be linked more than once if it appears in the lead in, film info-box and the cast list. So Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie are linked three times for that reason. Is that okay?

~~That's fine - good work~~

I noticed some more overlinking, particularly related to names of performers. Please go through the article systematically to remove the rest.

I put all the dates in the body of the article in the American style - month/day/year

Okay - now there are just the ones in the citations to make consistent

I think I got rid of the British spelling, I only found one occurrence of it. Let me know if I missed something.

I think that may have been the only one

I have deleted the reference to Leonard Maltin because I couldn't find a suitable reference. I added a reference for the claim about the number of stories on ff.net. On the citation needed about the VHS release history, I have a citation for the U.S release but not the U.K one. I know the info about the U.K release history on VHS is correct because I actually own the videos, but I haven't been able to provide a reference as I can't find a site backing me up online. Am I able to cite the VHS's themselves?

Hmmm... I suppose we can leave this without a citation for now (if this article were to get to FA level this may not fly, but for GA it can pass without a cite)

I think I corrected the citation for Inside the Labyrinth - does it look okay now?

Yes that's what it needed

To be done-

I still need to look at the soundtrack section, and make the citations consistent.

Fingers crossed it's looking a bit better now!

Rachael89 (talk) 21:10, 24 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Great job and quick work! We'll have this article passed in no time. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:28, 25 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Right, I've tried my best to make the dates consistent in the citations. Does it look better now?

See below

With the 'citation needed' for the VHS release, should the tag be deleted or can it pass for GA with it still in place?

Not necessary for GA - I removed it

I've been using the archive url option when re-doing some of the references, but haven't yet had time to do it for every reference. Would it be okay to make that a task for a review when I got for featured article status? That's the next rung up the ladder, and I'd have more time to do it if I could leave it for another review.

That's fine - it's not mandatory for GA (see above)

I have redone all of the references you drew attention to - do they look okay?

Getting there... see below

I have re-written the section on the soundtrack, so hopefully it flows better.

This is looking better

In the plot, Jareth does send Hoggle to free Sarah as he had ordered him to take her back to the beginning. I obviously had to leave the latter part of the reasoning out, as it would turn into a long-winded explanation otherwise.

Thanks - now I remember.

I know it's not one of the things you drew attention to, but I got rid of the references in the lead-in section and made sure everything it refers to is instead referenced elsewhere. Hopefully that's an improvement.

It is - good work!

Does that seem to cover everything? Let me know if there is anything else that still needs to be done, and I'll try my best to work on it.Rachael89 (talk) 11:30, 26 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

We're getting close. A few more points to address:

There are two disambiguation links to fix: Dennis Lee and dwarf
There are two dead links: "The Jim Henson Company, TOKYOPOP, and Neil Gaiman Set to Bring ‘Mirrormask’ and Classic Fantasy Titles to Manga" and "I Love To Do Daring Things - Jennifer Connelly Interview".
Nearly all the references still need some tweaking in terms of formatting. For example, all book references need to cite the page numbers where the information is found, and should list the publishing location as well as the publishing company name etc. All website references need to include the name of the website and the date of publication, among other things. As a rule of thumb fill in all the template fields you can reasonably complete with the information you find. There are now some refs with extra brackets in them, and still some issues with date formatting and page numbers (use page= for one page, and pages= for a page range). Give it another look and let me know when you think you've got it ready.
There are a number of the references that don't meet the standards for quality and reliability. Refs that I'd like to see replaced include 20, 22, 24, 26, 52 and possibly a few others

Lemurbaby (talk) 17:57, 26 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your detailed comments. I've fixed the disambiguation links, the dead links and (hopefully for good this time!) the over-linking. I've started working on the references a bit more, but that will probably take me a few days. I'll also work on trying to find better sources for the refs you pointed out.Rachael89 (talk) 21:06, 26 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Right, with the references I have been able to find a local paper based in Nyack that refers to Labyrinth's having been filmed there, so I have included that as an additional reference to support the claims made in the Labyrinth Locations blog. The blog actually includes photos that pretty much prove where the film was shot, so I didn't want to get rid of it altogether. With the references to the CGI, I found additional journal sources that confirm who was responsible for the opening sequence. I added these, while leaving in the earlier references. I have replaced the other references you drew attention to, or deleted the information in question. I'm aware that this wouldn't fly at the FA level (I'm mainly talking about the locations information), but is it okay to achieve GA status? If not, I will have to remove some of the information.

I think I've tackled the over-linking and the other issues you drew attention to. The references have been cleaned up further, so are hopefully now in a passable state. Thanks for your patience in reviewing this article, this is the first time I've become heavily involved with a page on Wikipedia and I'm finding it an interesting learning curve! Rachael89 (talk) 22:59, 28 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Pass and concluding recommendations

I've just done a sweep of all the references (publishing locations, work vs publisher field corrections, cite news vs cite journal template corrections etc), dates, page numbers and wikilinks, and made the necessary changes. If you plan on putting other articles through the GA process in the future, you might want to compare this version to the last one you edited to see what kind of additional changes I made.
You'll see I put the books in their own section, and the rest in the notes section. This is the best way to do it when you are citing various pages from the same book - the page numbers are mentioned in the notes section and the books themselves go below under references.
I strongly recommend two more changes as soon as you have time:

Put all the URLs in WebCite
Add a table in the Box Office section that shows the release dates and foreign language titles of the movie in other key markets around the world (info available on IMDB, for example). As it is, the article has a bit of a US-centric focus. It's not so glaring as to be cause to fail the GA nomination but it definitely would need to be corrected before FAC and hopefully well before that.

Great work on this and congratulations! Lemurbaby (talk) 09:49, 29 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thank-you! You've been a great reviewer, and I really appreciate all the hard work you've put into helping me bring this article up to scratch. I will try my best to keep on improving it, and will look at the areas you've drawn attention to next :).Rachael89 (talk) 22:25, 29 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]