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Talk:Janet Jackson/GA2

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GAN on hold

[edit]
  • I don't see the need for the use of ref 1 in the lead
  • Ref 16 (and many others...check them!) need full formatting
  • "Jackson also appeared on..." - next sentence also starts with "Jackson also" - use some variety
  • "six on the Billboard Hot R&B albums chart." - "Billboard" goes in italics. Same in the next sentence, and throughout
  • "The album earned Jackson..." - check the overuse of "and" in this sentence
  • Is there a reliable source saying where she got the Rhythm Nation title from?
  • "maintained airplay on the radio for over two years" - "on the radio" is obvious, you don't need to say it
  • "In 1999, Jackson secretly entered into her second marriage with dancer, songwriter and director René Elizondo; a marriage which remained secret until Elizondo filed for divorce in 2000" - why is this mentioned in the 1986–1992 section?
  • "In May 1992 Janet recorded..." - refer to her as "Jackson"
    • "In 1998, Janet set out on the The Velvet Rope Tour" - again. Do a Ctrl + F for "Janet" and see what you find
    • "Janet celebrated her 40th birthday " - found another one for ya!
  • "of 7 million USD" - formatting; "$7 million"
  • "appearance by rapper, Q-Tip." - comma not needed
  • "Worldwide sales for "Together Again," according to Virgin Records are over 6 million copies, one of the largest selling singles ever from a female artist." - citation needed for all the records presented here
  • Ref 33: Answers.com isn't reliable
  • "that of the janet. album" - just "of janet." is fine
  • The paragraph that discusses the success of The Velvet Rope needs a lot of reorganising...you keep throwing out random records and stats and it could be placed in a more logical order. (More citing needed for these stats, too)
  • You might want to avoid using {{main}} and just wlink the stuff in the sections, because it looks really weird at the top of the 2000–2005: All for You and Damita Jo section with all those links there
  • "opposite Eddie Murphy as professor Denise Gaines" - it sounds like Murphy played Gaines (but she did, IIRC), so reword this
  • "It debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 selling 605,128 copies making All For You the biggest first-week sales total of Janet's career and would go on to sell more than three million copies in America." - goes from past to present(ish) tense (needs reword), and needs sourcing.
  • "Jackson's top while singing the lyric 'gonna have you naked by the end of this song.'" - might wanna say what song they were singing
  • "and the most-searched event" - on all search engines? Says who?
  • "CBS would only let Jackson and Timberlake appear on the 2004 46th Annual Grammy..." - this paragraph is unsourced
  • "as a host of Saturday Night Live on April 10, 2004" - date needs wlinking per WP:DATE
  • What's ref 47 referring to...?
  • "at no.13 in February, 1999." - "no" --> "#", and wlink the date (February 1999)
  •  Done
  • Again, the 20YO stats could do with more citing
  • "and the film was released on 12 October 2007. The movie" - film or movie...take your pick, but just use one. You can also throw its name in sometimes to avoid redundancies
  • "In Feb. 2008, " - spell the name out
  • Ref 55 is out of date, and 56-58 need formatting
  • Legacy and Personal Life sections should be ==level 2==
    • Same thing in 71 (and check others)
  • "entertainers including Madonna, Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston" - wlinks
  • Try and trim some of the usage of "also"
  • Personal life section needs less quoting and more of your own words
  • It could also do with more wlinking
  • The see also links in the Discography section aren't needed

Leave a note on my talk page when done. Cheers, dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 07:42, 3 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Passed, nice work the two of you! dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 09:47, 4 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]