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I think the comment about Anderson being better than Lafontaine and Neely is not really NPOV and should be reworded. Both players are better than Anderson anyway. He was a good player, but his stats were hugley inflated playing on the Oilers and were quite average after the first few years of his career. There might be issues around the HHOF not inducting him yet and players with similar bakcgrounds, even though he was not a spectacular player, but his name does not deserve mention above guys like Lafontaine and Neely. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 208.97.64.50 (talk) 17:59, 16 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I have read the article and made a few minor changes. Here are my initial findings:
" In 64 games, Anderson recorded 62 goals, 69 assists, and 131 points, good enough for third place in the goal scoring race, and eight in the point scoring race.[7]" why not "…131 points, the third most goals and eighth most points on the team"?
Done
"he was nominated to the Second All-Star Team." is this the league's team?
Yes, I clarified it.
"In 1978–79, Anderson and Ken were recruited to play in the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) for the University of Denver by their head coach, Marshall Johnston. He played in 41 games, and led the team in points with 55." whose head coach? Who played in 41 games? Who is Ken? Use surname.
Done
"Making his professional debut with the Oilers, Anderson recorded 30 goals, 23 assists, and 53 points in 58 games." in his first season?
Done
"During the playoff run, Anderson scored 12 points in nine games, establishing himself as a "clutch" playoff performer, which means Anderson had a knack for scoring timely goals.[3]" ref only supports the points total, not the rest.
Changed it to "fierce" to match the reference.
"In 1982–83, Anderson helped the Oilers remain as division champions." prose
Hopefully fixed
"After being held scoreless in the previous rounds, Anderson scored his only three goals in the Finals, two of them being game-winners." only three playoff goals?
Yes, I clarified it.
"After playing part of the next season with Augsburger and the National Team again, Anderson signed with the Canucks due to his former Oiler teammate and friend Esa Tikkanen already playing there." ref*
All located in ref 44. I deleted the friend part though as it does not mention friend anywhere.
Stats listed do not perfectly correlate with the reference
"Anderson, and Ken, one of the Berry brothers, began their junior hockey career with the Bellingham Blazers of the British Columbia Junior Hockey League (BCJHL) in 1977–78" the season or simply 1977?
"He also played one game with the New Westminster Bruins of the Western Canada Hockey League (WCHL)." this is a fragment really. how is it connected with the rest of the paragraph?
I removed it seeing as it does not add much to the article.
"Along with his friend Ken, they joined the National Team which was managed by Father David Bauer.[9]" prose
Changed it to "He and Berry joined the National Team. Father David Bauer was in charge of the team and Anderson would later cite him as a major reason to his future success."
"He also played in seven games in the same season with the Seattle Breakers of the Western Hockey League (WHL), which had previously been known as the WCHL." similar to the last paragraph, the final sentence appears to be an afterthought and it should be better integrated into the paragraph.
I removed it seeing as it does not add much to the article.
"In 1980–81, the Canadian National Team program was not continued.[11]" The reference doesn't support the sentence
"Anderson set a career high in assists with 16 during the playoff run." ref
Is a reference really needed? One can just go to the stats table and check. The stats table also contains the reference.
That's what I am asking for. Use the same reference if you will, but otherwise there is just unlimited stats with no clear way for the reader to see where they are from. C67920:58, 17 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Went back and added references to every single stat mention.
"This was the second time Anderson had reached the 50 goal plateau in his career and the third time he had reached the 100 point plateau." ref
Went back and added references to every single stat mention.
"He was also selected to play in his third consecutive All-Star Game." ref
Went back and added references to every single award mention.
"Anderson scored 88 points during the season, and he was selected to play in the All-Star Game." ref
Went back and added references to every single stat mention.
"With the Oilers, eliminated early on in the playoffs, it gave Anderson the option to play for Team Canada in the World Championships in Sweden." prose
Changed to "After being eliminated from the playoffs, Anderson played for Team Canada at the World Championships in Sweden"
"He got a contract of $400,000 but never played with the Canucks, as upon signing as a free agent in January, he had to clear re-entry waivers, and his former team, the Oilers, claimed him." prose
Changed to "Anderson signed with the Canucks as a free agent for the reported sum of 400 000$. His reasons for joining the team were because of former Oiler teammate Esa Tikkanen already playing there, and a desire to finish his career in his hometown. However, Anderson never played for the Canucks as the Oilers picked him up on re-entry waivers. Anderson expressed his disappointment at these turn of events, as he wanted to play in Vancouver instead."
Sorry, I got mistaken between the 400,000$ in the Oilers section and the late career. Fixed now.
"He negotiated a clause with his then current team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, which would allow him to participate. But the league had to approve first, and there was a policy that only players with less than one year of NHL experience could join." prose
Changed to "He negotiated a clause with his then current team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, to grant him the right to play for Team Canada. Anderson also had to grant approval from the league but he was turned down. The league had instituted a policy that only players with less than one year of NHL experience could join. The league's decision caused an outrage in Canada."
"He currently lives in New York with his wife Susan, a real estate broker, and daughter Autumn." ref. "currently" is dated, try to reword as well
Changed to "He resides in Manhattan with his wife Susan, and daughter Autumn."
"He runs a fantasy camp, plays in charity and oldtimers games, and owns a hockey school in Connecticut.[3]" what is a fantasy camp?
Specified
"He started up Glenn Anderson's Cell-City, a company specializing in car phones, and has partnered up with four other businessmen on a deal that would supply water to an island in the north of the Bahamas.[31]" the details of this "deal" are not really noteworthy. Is there a better reference (that it actually happened)?
I tried to find a better reference but I was unable to find any. Seems like this is the only reference that has a mention of this deal.
One additional point: "Noted as a "clutch" player, he was able to score key goals when the team most needed them. He scored five playoff overtime goals, third to Joe Sakic's eight and Maurice Richard's six. His 17 playoff game-winning goals are fifth all-time in NHL history.[3]" - the statement is not supported, the citation specifically denotes "at the time of his retirement", which should be worked into the sentence here. Further, the initial sentence about being a clutch player should be referenced or deleted.
Added reference. Changed the term clutch to money.
The article isn't bad, but the prose has to be improved. Therefore I am placing the article on hold while the proposed changes are made . C67920:58, 17 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Is there a ref for his height and weight? I see these have been changed during the review but with no clear attribution. C67920:00, 18 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Went back and checked and NHL.com has him listed as 6'1 and 190lbs, while hockeyDB has him listed as 5'11 and 175lbs. Which one should I use?
I went and checked a couple of GA about ice hockey biographies, and they all used the hockeydb height and weight instead of the NHL.com ones. I'm reverting it back to the previous ones.
Two more things:
"The issue has since been resolved" - wording is too close to the original
Hopefully fixed.
"This was not enough as Anderson also had to grant approval from the league." still doesn't make sense. Use "grant approval" properly. Almost finished here. C67908:36, 19 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Not done, please implement this in the particular section. C679 20:00, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
