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Talk:Enrico Alfano

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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Enrico Alfano/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Full disclosure: I am a WIki Cup and GA Cup participant, I have my own GAN (CMLL World Tag Team Championship) and I also have a Feature Article (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship) and Feature List (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) candidates in need of input. Not that it's a factor in my review but it would be appreciated.

I am about to start my review of this article, normally I provide my input in bits and pieces over a day or two so expect running updates for a while.  MPJ-US  15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA Toolbox

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I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.

Peer Review
  • So is the article conforming to American or British spelling?  Done British, except for the direct quotes
  • Please use the "non-breaking space" between measurements and their units. Ex "250 kilometres" should be "250& nbsp;kilometres" (note: remove the space)  Done
Copyright violations
  • this link outlines an issue of some repeated phrase from a separate source, they are not significant enough to be outright violations. Please do check on the link and see if you can rephrase some of it.  Done I did rephrase some of it, what remains is minor and/or inevitable.
Disambiguation links
  • Green tickY - checks out.
External links
  • Green tickY - checks out.

Images

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  • No copyright issues due to their age, so that is fine.
  • None of the pictures have alt text, please add those.  Not done Not a requirement for GA

Sources

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  • New York Times should be linked in the citation, at least the first time it's cited.  Done
  • All web based sources should have an accessdate.  Not done Do you mean that all references to the newspapers for instance need to have an accessdate? I am afraid I don't remember when I did access them.
  • Some dates are listed as "June 1, 1911" others use "1911-06-01", please pick a consistent format.  Done

General review

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  • "He was a man of commanding presence." - This is just a sentence fragment, can you elaborate?  Done
  • " complicity with the thieves, but was" - no need for the comma  Done
  • "injured by knife by ruffians" - repeating the "by" is just poor English, can you reword it  Done
  • "encouraged by the Camorra and the police."... to do what?
  • "raided the apartment in 108 Mulberry Street" should be "at 108"  Done
  • "After a 17-month trial" - comma after trial.  Done
  • "After his conviction Alfano", comma after convicion.  Done
  • "In prison he took on the old family" - shouldn't that be "took up"?  Done
  • Foreign language words such as "Cammora" should be in italics, the article is pretty consistent on other words but not this one.  Not done I am afraid I have to disagree, just as the word Mafia, Camorra has become common in English and does not need to be italicized.
  • "known as the Saredo Inquiry since it was led by senator Giuseppe Saredo and which unearthed an extensive political patronage system in the city of Naples.[5]" - this detail seems to be superflous to Alfano.  Done Added a sentence to clarify.
  • The very next sentence is a total odds with the fact that a 1901 report did not mention him, but he was apparently the head of the organization from 1892?  Done Added a sentence to clarify.
  • Using the term "rise to power" and then equating it to being arrested seems odd.  Done Rephrased.
  • Still not sure of the timing of what is mentioned in the "early life" section, any posibility of putting some years in there?  Done No exact chronology is available, but I did put some years.
  • The investigation got new momentum when Gennaro Abbatemaggio, a young camorrista and a former Carabinieri informer serving a jail sentence in Naples gave", should be a comma after "Naples"  Done
  • @DonCalo: - This is generally a really well written, well sourced article. Only a few things to point out. I will probably read through it again but for now I am putting it on hold for 7 days to allow for improvements to be made
  • @DonCalo: - So this has sat for for seven days with no signs of activity at all. At this point I am going to go ahead and fail the article, but feel free to address the issues and then submit it for GA again. MPJ-US  14:13, 12 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Enrico Alfano/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 16:03, 10 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]


I'll give reviewing this one a shot, since it's been sitting for six months waiting for a review. Wizardman 16:03, 10 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Here's what I found:

  • Early on in the article, the article gets a bit heavy on the Camorra jargon. It's not overboard, but if there was a way to fine-tune that a bit more than it would be helpful.
  • First sentence in the Camorra section feels a little overdone with the commas.
  • Later on in the article the prose starts to veer away from encyclopedic in nature a little bit.

Anything else I just fixed myself. Reading it through in all, though, I wouldn't consider the issues to be deal breakers in terms of the article being a good article, so I'll pass the article as it is. That being said, hopefully the prose will be a bit fine-tuned just to make it flow a little better for lay readers. Wizardman 02:02, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]