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Talk:De Stem des Bloeds/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Moswento (talk · contribs) 11:53, 20 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Assessment

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

A very good article, just a few brief suggestions/queries.

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    See below for a few comments
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    All looks good
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    Nothing missing, nothing irrelevant
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
    No bias here
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
    1930s Indonesian films aren't known for their edit wars
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    The one picture is good, and is a nice addition to the article
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Comments

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Plo-t
  • "One day, van Kempen must return " - using the word "must" here sounds a bit odd. Also, is there a reason why he had to return? If it's not important, you could just go with "One day, van Kempen returns..."
  • "He searches for Siti and the couple's children, but none of his old coworkers know where they are...Annie stays at home with their mother." - I found this part of the plot synopsis confusing at first, because it's not clear if the information about his children is information that van Kempen is aware of or not. When I first read it, I assumed that van Kempen eventually does find Siti and the children before what happens in the next paragraph, and that you neglected to mention it. Would be worth reworking to clarify, perhaps even moving the information about the children to the end of the first paragraph as "background" to the story ahead.
  • "the supervisor's deeds" - I'm not sure if "actions" would be better than "deeds" here?
Production
  • "which may account for why the focused on native customs and farming" - I think you meant "he focused" rather than "the focused", although "which may account for the focus on..." might be less clumsy
  • "Vally Lank, and Jan Kruyt." - what parts did they play?
  • "the novel of the same name." - do you know the author of said novel? That would be worth mentioning
    • Not in any of the sources. :-( None of my modern sources (i.e. Biran, filmindonesia.or.id, and Said) even mention that it was from a novel, and WorldCat doesn't show a book named De Stem des Bloeds or Njai Siti which would have been available at the time either. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:32, 20 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "low production values." - is this values as in costs or values as in standards? Perhaps worth clarifying
Re-lease
Legacy
That's all folks!
Yep, I think so. Thanks for the review! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:54, 20 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for your prompt answers to my queries. I have just two follow-up comments on the above, and then I promise I will leave you in peace:
  • In the modified plot summary: "has meanwhile fallen for Ervine and tries unsuccessfully to woo her. Meanwhile," - would be good to remove or alter one of the "meanwhile"s
  • In the production section: "which may account for why the focus on native customs" - I'm not sure if you left the "why" in deliberately or accidentally, but it seems redundant