Talk:Carl Zoll/GA1
GA review
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Nominator: BeanieFan11 (talk · contribs) 22:00, 21 February 2025 (UTC)
Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 16:28, 25 February 2025 (UTC)
I'll do this one. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:28, 25 February 2025 (UTC)
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Comments
[edit]- In the opening sentence, I would switch the position of wrestler and football player based on the layout of the article.
- The last 3 sentences of the first paragraph of the lead start with "He..." can you switch one up to break the repetition?
He contended for light heavyweight world championship in 1920 but was defeated.
was it "a" light heavyweight world championship or "the" light heavyweight world championship- In the second paragraph of the lead, can you pull in a mention of his brother's names and that they played for the Packers too?
and had two brothers who were active in sports
maybe add "local" or "Green Bay" before "sports"?eventually being "conceded to be the strongest young guy in town."
-->eventually being describer by The New York Times as "the strongest young guy in town."
was considered the "pride of Green Bay".
add "by the Press-Gazette as" after consideredHe tied in a match in April 1918.
--> I would try to combined this into the next sentenceZoll weighed at 197 pounds (89 kg) by October 1918.
delete "at"In December, he fought again against Roy Anderson,
-->In December, he again fought Roy Anderson,
With his loss to Hill, Zoll thus also lost his title as Wisconsin champion
delete "thus"1919 and after wrestling practices in the morning, would train with the Packers in the evening
-->1919, training with the team in the evenings after his morning wrestling practices.
215 pounds (98 kg) at the time despite
delete "at the time"HHe returned to the team in 1921, as they became members of the American Professional Football Association (APFA) (renamed National Football League (NFL) in 1922), but did not appear in any APFA games.[2][55] He played his last season with the Packers in 1922, appearing in only one game as a backup, in what ended up being his sole appearance in the NFL
-->He returned to the team in 1921, as they became members of the American Professional Football Association (APFA), although he did not appear in any APFA games that season. Zoll stayed with the Packers in 1922, as the APFA was renamed to the National Football League (NFL). That season he played in one game as a backup, in what ended up being his sole appearance in the NFL.
- Recommend combining the following sentences:
With the Packers, Zoll played with his brother Martin.[55] In 1924, he played with a team in De Pere, Wisconsin, also with Martin.
something likeZoll played football with his brother, Martin, twice: ...
- Recommend adding File:The 1919 Green Bay Packers.jpg to the football section with a caption noting he and his brotther are in the photo as original 1919 Packers
He also continued operating his family's stone cutting business.
delete "also" as repetitive to the previous sentence- General comment: I think you should add a sentence to all three articles saying "Each of the Zoll brothers appeared in one NFL game for the Packers." or something like that, if that is going to be your DYK hook.
- References: all references are consistently formatted and reliable for what is being cited
- Spot checks: 4, 7, 8, 12, 13, 16, 17, 20, 23, 25, 28, 31, 35, 40, 48, and 61 all look good
Nice work BeanieFan11! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:27, 25 February 2025 (UTC)