Talk:Audi Crooks/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 17:25, 2 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 04:32, 17 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Ping me when you are done and have handled the following

Copy fixes
Addition of content as needed for the rest of the college basketball season
Lead section expansion
My questions about WBB Blog and the discus title in the sourcing section

Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 04:56, 17 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.

Copy changes

Priority item: Iowa State appears to be likely in the women's NCAA field as of right now. There is currently no coverage of Crooks's college season past November 25. This should be your first priority. In fact, I'm pinging you now, JTtheOG, so you can start on this. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 04:44, 17 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Priority item: The lead is insufficient in length to adequately summarize the article's contents. See MOS:LEAD. There should be two paragraphs here, I think.

High school career

both the shot put and the discus throw Unnecessary "both".
Add a {{convert}} to the imperial shot put distance for the benefit of non-US readers.
make the all-state first-team "first team" is not an adjective here and should not be hyphenated.
This section, in having per-year subheadings, may be too choppy. I can't see some of this material being very expandable, unlike, say, a college section for an athlete who had played four years.
I'd say MMCRU should link somewhere, but it looks like it needs a footnote to link to the two school districts because they have not combined yet. (MMCRU should really redirect to one of them)
In the quarterfinals of the Class 1A state tournament, Crooks tallied 42 points on 20-of-25 shooting, along with 14 rebounds and three blocks, to help beat Martensdale-St Marys, 67–44 The last comma is not needed, especially given all the commas. It's odd, but apparently true, that the name is "Martensdale–St Marys" without other punctuation.
Her 42 points broke the single-game 1A tournament scoring record, and also made her the state tournament's all-time leading scorer across all classes. Excise ", and also made her": just "and" will suffice.
The Des Moines Register called it "the most dominant state tournament run in Iowa 5-on-5 history." MOS:LOGICAL: quote before period when quoting a sentence fragment.
She finished her high school career with 2,734 points and 1,339 rebounds, finishing third all-time in state history in both categories. No need for "finishing" after "finished" earlier in the same sentence.

College career

See the priority item above.

Sourcing and spot checks

What makes WBB Blog a reliable source?

3: “It means a lot and hasn’t really sunk in yet,” Crooks said after winning the girls shot put title in Class 1A. “Last year was canceled, so this is like my freshman year. This validates the shot put claim but does not mention discus. Y
7: Lists Crooks on the West first team. (Thanks NewsBank for having this one) Y
8: This ref lists the 25–2 record. The stats are in the Messenger ref (9) as well. Y
23:
- She set the single-season scoring mark her senior year with 889 points.
- She followed that up with 26 points on 10-of-11 shooting and 10 rebounds in a 73-39 semifinal win over Remsen St. Mary's on March 3.
- Crooks turned in the most dominant state tournament run in Iowa 5-on-5 history Maybe say in this one, by the way, that "Joe Randleman of The Des Moines Register..." for attribution purposes? Y
40: Iowa State Daily article: Crooks turned things around with her 9.5 minutes of playing time in the second half. The Iowa native controlled the ball well when trusted to make a play in the paint and shot 3-for-5 in the final two quarters to finish with eight points in her collegiate debut. The accompanying DM Register ref has the five rebounds. Y

Images

Not applicable to this article.

Hi, Sammi! I do apologize for the radio silence as I've been caught up with some personal stuff, and I appreciate you taking this review on. I will be starting to address these tonight and will have it finished by the weekend. JTtheOG (talk) 22:53, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

You're gonna get to build the plane as it flies 'cuz she just dropped a 40-burger on Maryland in the tournament. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 01:48, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Indeed she did. 😎 I can't say I'm too surprised. JTtheOG (talk) 07:22, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Made some minor edits. Still need to do lead and college sections. JTtheOG (talk) 07:44, 24 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@JTtheOG Lead length looks good now; just need to add more of the college stuff (assuming that's still in progress). Also watching the ISU–Stanford game right now, in no small part thanks to this review project. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 02:32, 25 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! I probably won’t be able to finish by tonight; it’ll most likely have to wait til tomorrow. As for the MMCRU link, how do you feel about that pipelink? I’m not sure how I would approach the addition of a footnote, which is probably the better option. Would you mind assisting me with this part? It would be much appreciated. Also, it’s actually a great game despite her struggles so far. JTtheOG (talk) 03:22, 25 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@JTtheOG Have you used {{efn}} before? Should make things easy. You'd just need to add a {{notelist}} and Notes header above References. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:36, 25 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@JTtheOG Is there a citation, maybe in her ISU profile, for As of 2024, Crooks is majoring in criminal justice and sociology. ? Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 16:40, 27 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I do have a citation ready, but I am not quite finished with the college section yet and it's gonna be a repeated citation. I am very hopeful to be done by tonight. Would you mind looking over my recent additions in the meantime for grammar/tone, etc.? JTtheOG (talk) 17:12, 27 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Sure thing. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 00:06, 28 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

four-time WNBA All-Star Natalie Williams SEAOFBLUE delink WNBA All-Star. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 05:06, 29 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- Done! JTtheOG (talk) 16:26, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

- - Thanks for sticking with this, JTtheOG. I know it ended up being a task—this page has more than doubled in size, been permanently semiprotected and seen a spike in pageviews—but in the time that it sat at GAN, a lot happened on the court. It's not unthinkable that in a few years from now we're talking about a WNBA player here and consequently trying to trim the high school section. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 17:25, 2 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.