Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water/archive1

It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water

It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

As of 13 September 2024, 13:06 (UTC), this page is active and open for discussion. An FAC coordinator will be responsible for closing the nomination.

• Featured article candidates/It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water/archive1

Nominator(s): — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 18:38, 13 August 2024 (UTC)

At the turn of the century, Phil Elverum of the Microphones released the folk album It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water. Although frequently overlooked in the following years (overshadowed by its younger sibling), the album still received critical acclaim, going on to be "widely regarded as [an] indie pop classic" and inspire "weirdo singer/songwriter[s]" everywhere. Thanks to @Gen. Quon: for mentorship on this nomination. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 18:38, 13 August 2024 (UTC)

• Support I worked with PerfectSoundWhatever to punch up the article prior to this nom, and I think it's in a solid spot. The references are good, the prose (imho) reads nicely, and the topic is comprehensive without being unnecessarily exhaustive.--Gen. Quon_[Talk] 00:20, 14 August 2024 (UTC)

750h

Will review. 750h+ 14:25, 16 August 2024 (UTC)

lead

• make the lead two paragraphs (per MOS:LEADLENGTH)
• The album was recorded on analogue tape ==> "The album was recorded on analog tape" (AmEng)
• The album was recorded on analog tape, and Elverum embraced the medium's technical imperfections. ==> "Recorded on analog tape, Elverum embraced the medium's technical imperfections"

background and recording

• came to increasingly trust his musical abilities. ==> "came to trust his musical abilities increasingly."
• Prior to It Was Hot's release ==> "Before It Was Hot's release" (conciseness)
• between September 24, 1999, and March 6, 2000 at Dub add a comma after "2000"
• on analogue tape, which ==> "on analog tape, which"

music and themes

• merge the first paragraph and second paragraph (single-sentence paragraphs are generally unfavorable)

release and reception

• droning, distorted guitars and organs" ==> "droning, distorted guitars[,] and organs"

That's all i got. Fine work on the article! 750h+ 08:32, 19 August 2024 (UTC)

@750h+: Thank you for the review! All comments implemented. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 17:39, 19 August 2024 (UTC)

Support. 750h+ 00:05, 20 August 2024 (UTC)

Comments

• ""The Glow" acts as the album's climax and introduces the concept of the "glow", which was explored in more depth on 2001's The Glow Pt. 2." - this reads a tiny bit oddly, as you refer to this album in the present tense but then a later album in past tense. Maybe this could be dodged by saying "which would be explored".......?
• "as well as the extended play Window:." - is that colon part of the title, rather than a typo.....?
• Check for overlinking - drones is linked multiple times, as are K Records, Phil Elverum, the Microphones, PopMatters, and more....
• That's all I got. Great work overall! -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 16:16, 4 September 2024 (UTC)

  @ChrisTheDude: Thanks for the comments! "was" changed to "would be". The colon is intentional.

  Per MOS:REPEATLINK, repeat links are allowed if in different sections. I don't think removing many of the links you mentioned would be beneficial to the reader, although I removed some. Let me know your thoughts. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 22:30, 7 September 2024 (UTC)

• Support -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 17:17, 8 September 2024 (UTC)