User:UnfoldingWords

Bassoon

http://en.wiki.x.io/wiki/Bassoon

• Requires a lot of inline citations. (It was taken off the distinguished articles list for a lack of citations).
• Needs to be reorganized.
• Gives off the impression of reading like a book. I think I would shorten/rephrase things so that it reads more like a Wikipedia article.
• Contains a lot of technical jargon. Some of the sections could be given their own articles since they are so long and extensive.

Audience and Purpose

Upon looking at this article, I determined that the article is meant to appeal to a wide range of people, from inexperienced beginning students of the instrument to amateurs who are looking for new information and even bassoon enthusiasts and professionals who know a lot about the instrument. It also seems that the article could be used to inform non-musicians about what the instrument is and could be meant to raise awareness of an instrument that is not commonly known. I feel that this article does fit the requirements of providing good information about the bassoon (especially since it seems that people who know a lot about the instrument have worked on this article), but I also feel that it does not have a gradient transition to help ease the flow of information. For instance: the article should start each section out with simple language that then can transition into more technical and higher-level language in proceeding paragraphs. I think that it does a good job of describing the instrument; however, in comparison to an article of the same family, such as the clarinet, I feel that the bassoon page lacks the nice bulk of introduction paragraphs and the neat organizational structure of the clarinet article. The bassoon article reads more like a long essay or list while the clarinet article is well broken-up and seems to be conscious of the fact that non-clarinet specialists wish to learn something new yet not over-whelming from the page.

I think that I am definitely going to have to work on the organization of the page. There is a lot of information, so it may be a bit overwhelming to try and work on it all. However, I think it is a good challenge that will help me learn how to format information and will also make the page more accessible to a wider, less-experienced audience.

Ice Circle

http://en.wiki.x.io/wiki/Ice_circle

The audience for this article could be people who have never heard of an ice circle but have seen it on the news or in real life and are now trying to gain information on what it is. It could also be a good article for people who are genuinely fascinated by weather and who already know some of the meteorological terms for what creates ice circles. I think that this article does have a long way to go before it can become a good article, especially since it lacks so much information but still has a good amount of potential. The information is relevant to daily life and intriguing since the phenomenon of an ice circle is beautiful and does not happen that often. It also gives at least a baseline definition of an ice circle, which is helpful for people who know little about them. I have a feeling some meteorologists might join in on the conversation someday, though it does not seem like they have jumped in yet since the article lacks some of the more technical information that it needs.

I think that I will definitely have to reorganize this article and rename some of its sections. I might also need to expand upon some of the sections and bring in more information from outside sources. I am a bit concerned about the lack of information because I'm not a meteorologist (though I do have a fascination with weather). In comparison with another article, such as the one on wind, the article on ice circles is quite lacking and needs serious attention. I hope to at least start this process by building a well organized foundation.

Oboe

http://en.wiki.x.io/wiki/Oboe

• Find more sources for citations.
• Reorganize the classical music repertoire list.
• Broaden the scope of the regions the oboe is currently used in (the article mainly focuses on Europe and America).

Coffee Cake

• http://en.wiki.x.io/wiki/Coffee_cake
• Add additional citations
• Expand the subsections
• Perhaps add in some additional links to sites that explain how to make the cake.

Antarctic

• http://en.wiki.x.io/wiki/Antarctic
• Rename subsection headings
• Reword some of the paragraphs for clarity
• Maybe separate the Antarctic wildlife section since it seems that it could require its own webpage.

HTML

• http://en.wiki.x.io/wiki/HTML
• This article desperately needs reformatting.
• There is a lot of text. I wonder if I could simplify the explanations so that it doesn't seem to endlessly run on.
• Some of these sections might need their own webpages.