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Template:Did you know nominations/Siege of Al-Karak (1834)

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:13, 11 July 2016 (UTC)

Siege of Al-Karak (1834)

[edit]
  • Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Theodore Wassmer
  • Comment: Not sure how to phrase the hook

Created by Makeandtoss (talk) 7&6=thirteen (talk). Self-nominated at 21:29, 10 June 2016 (UTC).

  • . The article is new (created on 10 June) and it is long enough. It is interesting, neutral and cites sources with inline citation. Hook fact is interesting and verified by an inline citation. However, close paraphrasing can be detected in the article (including the hook, as well). I also suggest that the hook should be shortened. Borsoka (talk) 10:58, 25 June 2016 (UTC)
@Borsoka: Fixed issues. Makeandtoss (talk) 11:29, 26 June 2016 (UTC)
Thank you for your messages, but I think the issues have not been resolved. For instance, the article says: "The people of Karak managed to take their revenge from Ibrahim Pasha and his forces, 6 years later when the Egyptians were driven out of Syria." based on the following text in the cited source: "The Karakis would take their revenge six years later, when the Egyptians were driven out of Syria by a joint European-Ottoman force.". I suggest, the text of the article should significantly modified. Borsoka (talk) 15:22, 26 June 2016 (UTC)
@Borsoka: Should be ok now.. Makeandtoss (talk) 17:48, 26 June 2016 (UTC)
, I suggest a new review. Borsoka (talk) 03:29, 27 June 2016 (UTC)
*ALT1 * ... six years after the siege and looting of their city by Ibrahim Pasha, the people of Al-Karak exacted revenge as his forces withdrew? 7&6=thirteen () 14:40, 7 July 2016 (UTC)
Comment Copy edited the article and fixed sourcing. I would like to be listed as a co-creator in the nomination. Thanks. 7&6=thirteen () 14:42, 7 July 2016 (UTC)
We need to specify the context around his forces withdrawal.. The Pasha was withdrawing from the entire Levant, when some random small insignificant town he previously ransacked, attacked him as revenge.

Perhaps something like "... six years after the siege and looting of their city by Ibrahim Pasha, the people of Al-Karak exacted revenge from his forces, while they were driven out of Syria?" Makeandtoss (talk) 14:47, 7 July 2016 (UTC)

Going with AL2 Makeandtoss (talk) 14:52, 7 July 2016 (UTC)
  • Wait a minute--I don't see Isa al-Barqawi mentioned (or executed) in Rood or in Rogan. Drmies (talk) 15:02, 7 July 2016 (UTC)
@Drmies: I copied that section from Peasants' revolt in Palestine article.. Makeandtoss (talk) 15:06, 7 July 2016 (UTC)
Well, it's not verified in here. I made a few small edits, but the citations need to be brought in line--all in the same format. One of them at least was already done with a book citation template, so I followed that model. Drmies (talk) 15:11, 7 July 2016 (UTC)
FWIW, I added required "Attribution" sections to both articles, lest there be any question of fair use. 7&6=thirteen () 15:14, 7 July 2016 (UTC)
Fixed issues. Makeandtoss (talk) 15:19, 7 July 2016 (UTC)
Borsoka are we GTG? 7&6=thirteen () 15:29, 7 July 2016 (UTC)
. The hook became short and it is verified with inline citation. No copyvio was detected. Good to go. Borsoka (talk) 02:59, 8 July 2016 (UTC)