Template:Did you know nominations/North Foreland Lodge

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:49, 1 June 2012 (UTC)

North Foreland Lodge

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... that J. K. Rowling gave permission to North Foreland Lodge to produce Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, but withdrew it at the last minute as the school's production would have been a world premiere?

Reviewed: Angampora

Created/expanded by Moonraker (talk). Self nom at 15:54, 22 May 2012 (UTC)

All checks out. I removed i-links to common phrases and added ext. source to the hook.

ALT1:... that in 2000 J. K. Rowling gave permission to girls from North Foreland Lodge to produce Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, but she withdrew it at the last minute as the school's production would have been its world premiere?

Both hooks are over the 200 character maximum at 207 characters for the original and 232 for ALT1. Please come up with an ALT that's of a valid length. BlueMoonset (talk) 16:01, 29 May 2012 (UTC)

Sorry about that. Poeticbent talk 17:01, 29 May 2012 (UTC)

ALT2: ... that in 2000 J. K. Rowling gave permission to girls from North Foreland Lodge to produce Harry Potter, but she withdrew it just in time as the school's production would have been its world premiere?

I'm not quite sure "just in time" works, or even that wording to reflect that this was at the last minute is really necessary. The key here is that she gave permission and then changed her mind. How about this variant:

ALT3: ... that in 2000 J. K. Rowling permitted the North Foreland Lodge girls school to do a Harry Potter play, but later withdrew her consent since the performance would have been its world premiere? —BlueMoonset (talk) 21:16, 29 May 2012 (UTC)

The date isn't essential, and I'd like to tweak that some more. May I suggest Alt4 below, which is only 193 characters? Moonraker (talk) 20:48, 31 May 2012 (UTC)

ALT4: ... that J. K. Rowling agreed to North Foreland Lodge girls' school putting on Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, but later withdrew her consent as this would have been a world premiere?

ALT2 and ALT3 are dodgy due to the connotations of words like "permitted," but the "agreed" in ALT4 resolves that, and the hook is short enough. I have a minor rewording suggestion that also is the right length:

ALT5 ... that J. K. Rowling agreed to let North Foreland Lodge girls' school perform Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, but later withdrew consent as this would have been a world premiere? --Orlady (talk) 16:01, 1 June 2012 (UTC)