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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by The Squirrel Conspiracy (talk) 19:35, 7 June 2020 (UTC)

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Nebuta Museum Wa Rasse

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The museum in May 2011
The museum in May 2011
Reviewed: Gusinje Municipality

Created by Mccunicano (talk). Self-nominated at 06:11, 27 April 2020 (UTC).

  • The hook as written could probably use some clarification. What does "experienced year-round" mean, does it mean the museum is open throughout the year? That's not really unusual for a museum as a lot of them don't close for long periods. In addition, the current wording makes it sound a bit like a promotion for the museum, instead of perhaps saying more about how it's an "emulation". Maybe a hook about that "emulation" would work better instead? Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 00:28, 16 May 2020 (UTC)
@Narutolovehinata5: Hi, thanks for doing this review. Hm, maybe a different hook could be "... that at the Nebuta Museum Wa Rasse the Aomori Nebuta Matsuri, one of the 100 Soundscapes of Japan, can be experienced any time of year instead of only in early August when the festival is held?" Mccunicano☕️ 10:45, 16 May 2020 (UTC)
That still sounds either niche or something you'd find in a travel guide. Either the hook wording needs to be rephrased (it sounds a bit weird right now with the current clause construction), or perhaps a different direction is needed. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 12:28, 16 May 2020 (UTC)
maybe "... that at the Nebuta Museum Wa Rasse visitors can experience a brief performance of the dance and music of the Aomori Nebuta Matsuri, one of the 100 Soundscapes of Japan?" Mccunicano☕️ 12:50, 16 May 2020 (UTC)
The wording still sounds like one you'd find at a travel guide. I'm sure there's probably a better way to word that hook fact but right now it's not working out. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 01:53, 17 May 2020 (UTC)
The only thing I can think of that would make it sound less like a travel guide at this point is leaving out the visitors part. Perhaps you have a hook in mind? Mccunicano☕️ 02:24, 17 May 2020 (UTC)
Perhaps a hook about the museum being built as part of a development created to mitigate the effects of a new Shinkansen line would work? Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 04:00, 17 May 2020 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the new hook. However, it probably needs some mention of the Shinkansen line there since ALT1 can still be a bit too vague. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 02:16, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
 Completed How does the revised hook look? Mccunicano☕️ 02:43, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
ALT1 is almost ready, the hook just need to be reworded a bit since it could be misinterpreted to mean that it was the museum or the development that was bypassed, not Aomori. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 11:31, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
Okay, how's that? Mccunicano☕️ 11:39, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
Sounds good. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 11:06, 20 May 2020 (UTC)
Great, so would you say this is ready for DYK then? Mccunicano☕️ 00:19, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
I'll do the full review by tomorrow but so far the article itself looks good and the hook facts are referenced. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 11:18, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
Apologies for the late response, I suddenly got caught up in several real-life matters yesterday. I'll try to finish by tomorrow, but if not, perhaps another editor would be willing to take a look at this too. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 07:03, 23 May 2020 (UTC)
No worries! Mccunicano☕️ 12:07, 23 May 2020 (UTC)
I was doing a partial review earlier (didn't find any close paraphrasing) and noted that a QPQ has been done, but while the hook fact for ALT1 is cited (assuming good faith since the source is in Japanese), the actual sentence mentioning the hook fact doesn't have the relevant footnote, which doesn't appear until later in the paragraph. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 11:31, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
The source has been appended to that sentence now. Mccunicano☕️ 14:00, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
I think we should be good to go now. All other concerns have been addressed and the article meets DYK requirements. The image is okay and suitable, but it might be too small or unclear for use in a picture hook. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 01:53, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
  • @Narutolovehinata5: do you really understand what ALT1 is talking about? I came by to promote this and I've never heard of half the things this hook is mentioning, and I don't care either. What is a preemptive revitalization project? Is it the same as a revitalization project? Could the hook call it the city of Aomori, and could a descriptive term be used to identify what Tōhoku Shinkansen is? Yoninah (talk) 15:49, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
@Yoninah: From what I understand, the hook means the museum was built as part of a larger redevelopment project, which aimed to mitigate the economic effects of Aomori being bypassed by the Shinkansen. Personally I thought the Shinkansen was well-known enough that it could be mentioned without context, though adding "train line" probably won't hurt. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 15:56, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
@Yoninah: Added an ALT2 per your comment. Mccunicano☕️ 00:18, 27 May 2020 (UTC)
A Nebuta float at the museum
* OK, I'm back. Thank you for the alt, but frankly, all the alts seem to be written for someone who knows what they're talking about. The unfamiliar Japanese words don't speak to me at all. I notice that you have an .ogv image in the article and wonder if you'd like to incorporate it into a more user-friendly hook, like:
  • ALT3: ... that a room in the Nebuta Museum in Aomori, Japan, is darkened so the floats on display (example pictured) can be illuminated as they are during the city's annual summer festival? "aomori nebuta house museum • Japan". Molo Design. Retrieved 1 June 2020. Yoninah (talk) 00:05, 1 June 2020 (UTC)
@Yoninah: Brilliant, I definitely prefer a hook that pertains to the exhibits. Mccunicano☕️ 00:16, 1 June 2020 (UTC)
Checked the source used for the new hook with Google Translate and there doesn't seem to be any mention of a room being kept dark there? The only part that seemed to show up in the translation was about how the floats are related to the festival. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 12:43, 1 June 2020 (UTC)
@Narutolovehinata5: English reference added from one of the museum's designers that specifically mentions the lighting. Mccunicano☕️ 14:10, 1 June 2020 (UTC)
  • As the source speaks about "dim lighting", I wrote that the room is "darkened" in the article and hook. Yoninah (talk) 15:48, 1 June 2020 (UTC)
Thanks for that. Mccunicano☕️ 01:27, 2 June 2020 (UTC)
Just for clarification, the quote in question is As they wind their way through galleries and educational displays, the lights dim and the recorded sounds of the festival—pounding drums, flutes, chants and cries—grow. Guests step out onto a shadowy platform, and are suddenly confronted by the Nebuta themselves. right? It doesn't see to explicitly mention that the darkening is to imitate the festival, only implied. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 02:01, 2 June 2020 (UTC)
Along with the other Japanese source you used Google translate on there's enough to say that the focus of the room is to create a setting that immerses the viewer in a festival-like environment. Mccunicano☕️ 02:44, 2 June 2020 (UTC)
Honestly I'm not so sure. I would normally assume good faith on the Japanese source but it doesn't even seem to mention anything about dark rooms. I'll ask for a second opinion from another editor if the sourcing is sufficient, but otherwise that's the only thing remaining before this can be approved. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 03:16, 2 June 2020 (UTC)
  • Approving Alt3. --evrik (talk) 05:10, 7 June 2020 (UTC)
  • Note to promoter: Strong preference to run ALT3 with the image of the floats. Thank you, Yoninah (talk) 14:02, 7 June 2020 (UTC)
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