Talk:Zara Aronson/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 20:43, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this on Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 20:43, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

What makes geni.com a reliable source? It's considered generally unreliable.
- I wasn't aware of this, removed it. - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
perhaps remove some of the over linking to common terms such as editor
- Done. - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Do you mean to link to National Council of Women of Australia
- I'm not entirely sure this is the same organisation, I'll check. - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I'm concerned about the prose level of this article, It's good, but I'm not confident that it's up to GA standard yet
- Are the bits below the specific issues? - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  Yeah, I think the prose is ga standard now Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 12:22, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"of the committees of the" what committees?
- clarified - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"homes for consumptives" what do you mean by consumptives?
- wikilinked to Tuberculosis - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"After being encouraged to do so by Lucy" -> "upon the encouragement of"?
- fixed sentence - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"women's columnist" was this a specific position?
- yes, it was. - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
two sections titled early career?
- oops! fixed - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"having in 1899 established a wholesale jewellery and importing business, Frederick Aronson & Co" -> "establishing a wholesale jewellery and importing business, Frederick Aronson & Co in 1899"?
- suggested change made - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Unreferenced bit at the end of paragraph
- fixed - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"she found herself in" -> "came into"
- fixed - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Aronson evidently later wrote to Franklin, whose brother responded with what appears to have" there's a whole lot of speculation here/ Why don't you leave that for the reader to do?
- fixed - added footnote that the original letter cannot be located. - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"not been preserved for history" -> "was not recorded"
- fixed - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"In later years she was fashion editor" dates?
- will need to locate - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"XXth Century Cooking and Home Decoration" in the lead you write "20th"
- fixed - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Mary Elizabeth Team Rooms," team rooms or tea rooms?
- oops! fixed - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I'm also concerned about comprehensiveness; for example, you write almost two paragraphs about a conflict with Miles Franklin, but put almost no discussion into any other work she did. It seems to me that there would be a fair amount of stuff to add. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 02:01, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- What sort of material do you think we should add? The Mile Franklin incident was quite significant, give the status of Miles Franklin in Australia. - Chris.sherlock (talk) 12:25, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  Chris.sherlock, something about this: and organized and ran the depot which distributed over a million books and magazines during World War I., maybe add something about her as the "original member of the executive committee of the New South Wales division of the British Red Cross Society"? Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 12:30, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  
  Chris.sherlock, just a small bit more work to get the article to ga, are you planning on getting to it? Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 13:27, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - I'm so sorry Eddie891, I recently lost my job due to COVID-19 and I'm afraid I have to take a wikibreak. I really appreciate your feedback, I'll action it when I'm back but perhaps it's best to withdraw this GA nomination till I have the time to action your suggestions. - Chris.sherlock (talk) 16:31, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    Chris.sherlock, That's completely fine, and understandable. I will close this as 'failed', but please leave a note on my talk when you have time to come back and address the comments. Really, you have done nice work, and I'd like to see this pass Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 23:46, 24 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - Eddie891 I think something went wrong because this is now a GA... btw, I really appreciate you taking the time to review the article. - Chris.sherlock (talk) 02:41, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]