Talk:The Naturalist on the River Amazons/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 08:59, 10 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will take on this review and will examine the article in detail shortly. On first inspection it looks well-written and comprehensive. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:59, 10 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

" He constantly relates the wildlife to the people, explaining how they hunt, what they eat and what they use as medicines." - This is somewhat ambiguous, are you talking about the wildlife or the people in the second half of the sentence?

added 'the people'

In the "Major versions" section, one bracketed comment is in italics and another is not. Why is this?

syntax error fixed

"He describes how one went upriver before the steamboats arrived" - I don't think the use of the word "one" is very suitable in this sentence.

said 'travellers'

"He gets a musical cricket, Chlorocoelus tanana." - Maybe obtains, is given, purchases or whatever best describes the event.

done

"Bates hires a boat made of stonewood for a three month trip up the Tapajos river, salting meat and grinding coffee, ..." - I had to read this sentence twice before I understood it. It would be better rephrased.

reworded, split

"They regularly eat turtles." - Is this referring to the local inhabitants or to Bates' party?

added 'the people'

" the Bouto or river dolphin used to take "the shape of a beautiful woman, with hair hanging loose to her heels, and walking ashore at night in the streets of Ega, to entice the young men down to the water" where would grab them and "plunge beneath the waves with a triumphant cry"" - The last part of this sentence is missing a subject.

added 'the Bouto'

In some places, vernucular names have capital letters and in others they do not. "hyacinthine macaw" "Giant Anteater" "howler monkey" "Crested Oropendola" etc. I would be inclined to disregard the practice of Wikipedia bird articles to use capital letters and use lower case throughout.

ok, let's do that, please fix any I missed!

I'll move on to the Reception section later. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:00, 10 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. Will be away from desk till 12 June. Chiswick Chap (talk) 10:23, 10 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Darwin was happy to have the Naturalist on his side, and to use the book, in particular Bates's robust evidence of mimicry in "the Butterflies of the genus Heliconius", in the Origin of Species debate which was still heated in 1863." - This sentence is a bit convoluted and could be split in two.

done

"The reviewer finds Bates among the most readable, and free of the usual "personal twaddle" of travel and adventure books, ..." - Ditto.

done

"I should like, from the Everyman Library Bates' – Naturalist on the Amazon... The first I want because I intend some day to go to South America – to Peru or Ecuador, not the Amazon. But I know Bates is good."" - This quotation mentions "The first" but I'm unclear to what that refers.

removed (it referred to another book)

Which brings me to the end, and wanting to read the book! Cwmhiraeth (talk) 12:32, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Super, hope it has the same effect on other readers! Chiswick Chap (talk) 13:21, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The captions to the images are a bit inconsistent!
The first image mentions "However Bates was not carrying a gun at that moment.", which needs some explanation if used at all.

added 'as shown' - Jim Mallet comments in the ref in the caption that the artist had added a gun contrary to the account in the book.

removed

removed

It's only possible when the illustrator is identifiable; many images are unsigned.

1a The article is well written. Certain alterations to the prose have bee made as suggested above.
1b The article conforms with the MOS guidelines.
2a&b The article is well referenced, includes many block quotes and has inline citations for all contentious statements.
2c There is no original research as far as I can see.
3a&b The coverage is broad enough and the article does not include irrelevant material.
4 The article is neutral.
5 The article was a stub before being expanded by the nominator in December 2012 and has hardly been edited by anybody else since then.
6 The images are mostly in the public domain having been created over one hundred years ago. Others are appropriately licensed.
7 The images are relevant to the topic and have suitable captions.
Overall assessment - Pass. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 04:57, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]