Talk:Sungai Lembing/GA1
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 07:34, 9 April 2021 (UTC)
Happy to review the article.
Review
[edit]Lead section / infobox
[edit]Unlink Malaysia (MOS:OL).Link tin-mining; tin.Delete and as of 2020, reconstruction is ongoing as it's unnecessary.- Copy editing and removal of excess words:
Amend set up the tin mining industry to ‘set up the tin mining industry there’.- Sungai Lembing had roads, electricity, bungalows, schools, office building, warehouse, shops, cinema, petrol station and a hospital (mostly trivial), amend to ‘Sungai Lembing had its own schools, cinema and a hospital.’
- not done Amitchell125 (talk) 12:55, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- Mentioned below, the electricity is not at all trivial for the time period, and the petrol station is specifically identified as notable in the source used in the article. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- If the source says the petrol station was notable, this should be included in the article; if the British were tin mining in the area, it's not notable that they used electricity, so there is no need for it to be mentioned. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:40, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
- My view is that given this area was one of the first places in Malaya to obtain electricity, it is significant enough to be mentioned in the lead, and that the link between electricity and tin mining will not be known by the average reader. CMD (talk) 10:53, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
- If your view is correct, then the information is notable and needs to be cited. Amitchell125 (talk) 06:20, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- Doesnt affect GA, but it would good to fix this. AM
- My view is that given this area was one of the first places in Malaya to obtain electricity, it is significant enough to be mentioned in the lead, and that the link between electricity and tin mining will not be known by the average reader. CMD (talk) 10:53, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
- If the source says the petrol station was notable, this should be included in the article; if the British were tin mining in the area, it's not notable that they used electricity, so there is no need for it to be mentioned. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:40, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
- Mentioned below, the electricity is not at all trivial for the time period, and the petrol station is specifically identified as notable in the source used in the article. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
Amend flooding damaged infrastructure in Sungai Lembing and mining activities were suspended to ‘flood damage caused in mining activities to be suspended’.Amend went into decline to ‘has gone into decline’.Amend Many out-of-work miners and other residents moved elsewhere to ‘Many residents moved away’.Amend the won had around 5,000 residents to ‘the town had a population of around 5,000’.
1 Etymology
[edit]Link etymologies (Etymology); Malay (Malay language).There are multiple suggested etymologies – but you only list two, so 'multiple' is incorrect.Amend a local ruler to ‘a ruler’.Amend Another origin story involves to ‘Another involves’.
2.1 Foundation
[edit]Link tin-mining; tin.The image at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sungai_Lembing_during_1920s.jpg is unsourced – how do you know it is what the author claims it is? Also, there shouldn’t be a full stop in the caption for the image.
- Sourcing query not addressed.
- WPSamson: Image hidden prior to it being sourced correctly. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:54, 20 April 2021 (UTC)
- Sourcing query not addressed.
Amend Sungai Lembing town to ‘Sungai Lembing’.when the British set up the tin mining industry – but as they set it up in 1886, this statement makes little sense.roads, electricity, bungalows, schools, office buildings, warehouses, shops, a cinema and a hospital - roads, bungalows and office buildings are not amenities.
- Partly done
- Somehow didn't do this before, road and office building removed, bungalow changed to clarify it was housing made specifically for the workers. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- Partly done
Unlink London.Electricity use was limited. Can it be explained why?
- not explained.
- Probably cost, but not explained in source. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- Tried searched around the available reliable sources didn't found any explanation about the electricity access rationing. WPSamson (talk) 03:35, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- Probably cost, but not explained in source. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- not explained.
Amend the town duty-free to ‘ the duty-free shop’.
- Done for you. AM
Amend Non-residences and visitors to ‘Non-residents’.to enter the town without permission - consider amending to something like ‘to enter Sungai Lembing without permission' to avoid repeating 'the town'.If there is only one road into the town, why was there more than one checkpoint?Entry to some buildings was restricted to certain types of workers – is it possible to be more specific about which buildings and which workers?Amend flooding in Sungai Lembing to ‘ flooding in the Sungai Lembing area’, as the article presently implies the town is 9 miles long.the Great Depression – the year is needed.the Japanese occupation of Malaya – you need to state when the country was occupied.much of the mining equipment was destroyed – who destroyed it?
OK, so now how did it come to be lost? AM- Not in source. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done Found another source saying that British mine manager did destroy the mine and hid all the stocks. WPSamson (talk) 02:41, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
More comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:24, 12 April 2021 (UTC)
2.2 Post independence and decline
[edit]Amend on 1987 by the Government of Pahang to ‘by the Government of Pahang in 1987’.Amend to look for better jobs to ‘seek employment’.It’s not clear to me why the change from mining to agriculture caused flooding. Please could you explain the reason?would be occurs twice in this section, and would open occurs once. Did the planned changes take place? The text needs to be amended to reflect what happened.
- not yet addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:03, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- Done for you WPSamson, please amend if necessary. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:49, 20 April 2021 (UTC)
- not yet addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:03, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
It’s not clear what time during that time is referring to.
2.3 Revitalization
[edit]Link shophouses (unhyphenated) using Shophouse.The museum is a conversion of a former bungalow that was previously inhabited by the British mining manager and his family. This has already been mentioned. It needs to be in either section 2.2 or 2.3, but not in both sections.Sungai Lembing museum – museum or Museum?Amend The museum is currently to ‘It is currently’.Imo there needs to be some sort of explanation about what the Eighth Malaysian Plan was.connects town should read ‘connects the town’.Delete In addition.on 16 April 2005, another RM 6.3 million was spent – as I doubt the funds were all spent in a single day, amend the text to say something like ‘on 16 April 2005, another RM 6.3 million was allocated’.Further developments in Sungai Lembing, included the 2006 demolition of an old food court building to make way for a new food court., were completed and the new food court opened on 27 September 2008. This sentence is only trivial information, and needs to be removed.to strongly advise – why 'strongly'?Amend returned to growth to something like ‘began to return to pre-2020 levels’.Amend % to ‘per cent’ (see WP:%).What does which is typically seen mean here?It’s not clear what Despite this is referring to. Despite what?
3.1 Climate
[edit]Link Precipitation.- I’m not sure how the climate can be both 'tropical' and 'Af' (which is tropical rainforest).
- issue not addressed yet. AM
- Don't understand fully, aren't tropical rainforests tropical? The source has both points in the same paragraph. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- They are, so I would simply say the Af bit and not mention unnecessarily that the climate is tropical. AM
- Don't understand fully, aren't tropical rainforests tropical? The source has both points in the same paragraph. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- issue not addressed yet. AM
The average – you need to be specific here (average of what period of time?).
issue not addressed yet. Monthly, annual, daily...? AM- Not sure exactly is being referred to here, both "the average" in the article have "annual" afterwards. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- Understood. AM
- Not sure exactly is being referred to here, both "the average" in the article have "annual" afterwards. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
the difference in precipitation is 306.7 mm – is it the same every year?
3.2 Environmental issues
[edit]Link environmentalists (Environmentalist).a slight increase in the frequency sounds too vague imo.What do the following phrases mean? water and soil disequilibrium; imbalances in the water cycle; weaknesses in the urban drainage system.Amend the only road to ‘the road’.found to be potentially polluting the area's rivers – why 'potentially'?It’s not clear to me that These can affect the water quality in watercourses, raising concern among environmentalists adds to the article, and I would delete it.Amend pollution of the nearby river to ‘the nearby river to become polluted’. If the river you are referring to is the Kuantan River, it should be named in the article, and linked (Kuantan River).The last sentence needs to be copy edited to improve the English.
4 Tourism
[edit]The image at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Sunrise_Of_Sungai_Lembing.jpg doesn’t show anything notable (either a sunrise or a hill). Is a better one available?
- not addressed yet. AM
- Replaced with another image File:Bukit Panorama, Sungai Lembing Malaysia Jan 2013.jpg with Gua Charas in background. Would it be okay? WPSamson (talk) 03:09, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- not addressed yet. AM
The image at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gua_Charas,_Pahang.jpg is too poor a quality to include here.
- not addressed yet. AM
- Replaced with a better image of Gua Charas which indicates place of worship inside the cave. File:Inside of Gua Charas October 2011.jpg WPSamson (talk) 03:09, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- not addressed yet. AM
The first sentence repeats what has already been said elsewhere in the article, and so should be deleted.Among the area's tourist attractions are Sungai Lembing Museum and mining tunnel – as this has already been stated, the text should probably read ‘As well as the Sungai Lembing Museum and mining tunnel, the area's tourist attractions are’.A comma should follow Panorama Hill.
5 Notable people
[edit]Sorry, but this person is not notable enough to be included in Wikipedia. This section should be deleted.
6 In popular culture
[edit]Remove the links in Malaysian-Singaporean.Kampong Ties and Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam 2 should be in italics.
7 References
[edit]Ref 6 (Wahida Kamaruzaman) add ‘(in Malay)’.Ref 10 (Aziz) and Refs 12/14 – page numbers are needed.Ref 15 (Neo) is not a reliable source and needs to be replaced.
issue not addressed yet. AM- Another source (NSTPeak) was added that covers the relevant text. CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
Ref 35 (Pek Yee) is not found.Ref 40 (Soo Wah) didn’t load properly.
8 External links
[edit]Consider adding a link to http://www.malayarailway.com/2009/10/sungai-lembing-mining-legacy.html#axzz6rkoDLAAF (Sungai Lembing Mining Legacy from Malaya Railway).
On hold
[edit]I'm placing the article on hold for a week until 20 April, to allow enough time for the above comments to be addressed. many thanks, Amitchell125 (talk) 13:30, 12 April 2021 (UTC)
- Hi Amitchell125. WPSamson appears to be currently inactive, so I've worked through these. I've believe I have addressed your points, with the following exceptions:
- I left mention of electricity and a petrol station in the lead, as electricity in that time period in Malaya is very unusual, and the petrol station is specifically mentioned in the source as an example of the boom times (and that it later closed when the good times ended leaving the town without one).
- "would be occurs twice in this section, and would open occurs once. Did the planned changes take place? The text needs to be amended to reflect what happened." I could not address this one as that's as much as can be obtained from the source.
- The three image points, which would be better addressed by WPSamson as they are more familiar and one is their own upload.
- Let me know how this stands now. Best, CMD (talk) 12:15, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks for your work on the article, Chipmunkdavis. However, I am not assuming that WPSamson is inactive. WPSamson's last contribution on Wikipedia was on 14 April (i.e. 3 days ago) and I have not received any notification that WPSamson intended to abandon the review. I will check your work. Amitchell125 (talk) 12:48, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- No problem, just chipping in on simple edits that can be done through the existing sources. Some notes/replies above to the items not included in my comment above: a couple of questions go past what the sources have, a couple I don't follow, a couple I believe are already fixed. Best, CMD (talk) 17:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks for your work on the article, Chipmunkdavis. However, I am not assuming that WPSamson is inactive. WPSamson's last contribution on Wikipedia was on 14 April (i.e. 3 days ago) and I have not received any notification that WPSamson intended to abandon the review. I will check your work. Amitchell125 (talk) 12:48, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
Passing
[edit]Baring a few points that imo don't affect the nomination too much, the article is now at GA. Thanks to all involved. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:56, 20 April 2021 (UTC)