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floated article

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There wasn't one on the shelf (disambiguation) page, so heeded discussion and wrote this. Yes, I didn't want to take all the credit for starting this article -- I didn't want to be shelfish. Couldn't resist that joke. --Tomwsulcer (talk) 00:31, 27 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Behold the shelf

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I'd never thought about it before, but the seemingly-lowly shelf has been hiding its light under a bushel basket for all these many years.

The shelf is really the seventh simple machine: the assiduously non-inclined plane, a lever with no fulcrum to come to its aid, valiantly carrying on the seemingly eternal fight against the relentless, implacable force of gravity, in the service of keeping things off the floor—a task, incidentally, my father was continuously exhorting me to perform. Enter the shelf, ready to do my bidding, saving me from parental rebuke!

I was surprised to find that not only was the shelf neglected here on Wikipedia, but there is no shelf entry in the edition of World Book Encyclopedia I have at hand, not even finding a niche in its index; no room to be found, it would appear, between "Shelduck" and "Shelf-life improver" for the plebeian slab of wood, the collegiate concoction of brick and board, the ignored but indispensible projection from the walls that are our very lives.

Where, I ask you, World Book, where would we put the painstakingly-rendered model of the waterfowl, or the container of surprisingly long-lived yeast, if there were, as you seem to pretend, no shelves in the interstices between these two ultimately lesser things you implicitly deem to be so much more noteworthy? On the floor? And what do you think my dad would say to that? Ha! I laugh a small chuckle of scorn, tinged with just a soupçon of bitterness, for your callow disregard.

So thank you, Tomwsulcer, for demonstrating yet again that Wikipedia has room for the simple as well as the eclectic, that we are, in our consideration of the fundamentals of reality, truly more worldly than the so-called World Book.

And of course: thank you, shelf.--NapoliRoma (talk) 02:00, 27 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

ooooooh. Clever response. Only thing I wonder is if we could possibly use your quote about the "seventh simple machine: assiduously non-inclined plane, a lever with no fulcrum to come to its aid, valiantly carrying on the seemingly eternal fight against the relentless, implacable force of gravity, in the service of keeping things off the floor" -- hey that's great poetry. Wonder if I could put it in the article somehow? --Tomwsulcer (talk) 03:37, 27 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Glad you enjoyed it; the muse was upon me. To thine own shelf be true...--NapoliRoma (talk) 07:23, 27 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
What a muse it is; you're a poet and which is quite shelf-evident.--Tomwsulcer (talk) 07:33, 27 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I've added a bit more detail about the design, construction and use of these anti-gravity devices based on several years of inventory control/purchasing experiences. I am hesitant about adding external references because they mostly seem to only be from commercial sources, that is, external examples all would have price tags. I suppose we could link to some general blueprints... RJBaran (talk) 01:41, 19 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Hey excellent additions. I think you're right about references -- I had trouble finding good non-spam references for Kitchen cabinet so I fully agree.--Tomwsulcer (talk) 02:31, 19 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]