Talk:Sam Oldham/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk) 03:22, 10 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I was going to just add some comments, but I saw there was a GAN going on. The first thing that stood out to me was the sourcing in the lede. The lede should be a summary of the article, so anything up there doesn't need to be sourced. That said, it'd be good if the (minimal) sourced info from the lede could appear later in the article (personal life). I'm not familiar with sports athletes, but as with any person, basic biographical details are needed (such as where he was born, who were his parents, schooling, etc).

The prose is generally good.

I feel that the first sentence of "Junior career" should be split, since it's a bit long-winded.
"and for sweeping all seven golds on offer at the English national championships." - maybe I'm missing something, but what does "on offer" mean?

All in all looks pretty good. I won't pass it yet, but it's pretty close. --Hurricanehink (talk) 03:22, 10 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. All fixed. Strange Passerby (talk • c • status) 06:34, 10 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, I'll pass it. Hurricanehink (talk) 14:59, 10 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]