Talk:SDG 14 and the Rio Conventions
![]() | The contents of the SDG 14 and the Rio Conventions page were merged into Sustainable Development Goals on 9 May 2019. For the contribution history and old versions of the merged article please see its history. |
![]() | The contents of the SDG 14 and the Rio Conventions page were merged into Rio Convention on 9 May 2019 and it now redirects there. For the contribution history and old versions of the merged article please see its history. |
![]() | This article was nominated for deletion on 16 April 2019. The result of the discussion was Merge into Sustainable Development Goals and Rio Convention. |
Hi Antonia! Great work! I just had minor suggestions:
Should following statistic be in both sections 3 and 4? "The proportion of world marine fish stocks within biologically sustainable levels has declined from 90 per cent in 1974 to 68.6 per cent in 2013."
Consider revising structure of sentence (e.g. response & respondents): In response, about 70 per cent of the respondents to a survey representing 92 countries and the European Union have introduced or developed regulations, policies, laws, plans or strategies specifically targeting small-scale fisheries.
Under Additional Sections (To be added to entire article): consider using another adverb to replace "as well" at start of sentence: As well, the CBD promotes[...]
Under SDG 14 & The Convention on Biological Diversity (CBD): consider revising: The CBD currently works following the Strategic Plan for Biodiversity 2011-2020, used as a vehicle to maintain synergies at National levels.
LilyDuong (talk) 21:30, 12 April 2019 (UTC)
- Response to @LilyDuong:'s Peer Review: Thank you so much Lily for your feedback on my draft article. I took your notes into consideration in my final edits of my works and made appropriate changes accordingly. I have reviewed the structure of certain sentences you bring up and I agree and made revisions that I believe improved the clarity of my intended messages. Thanks again! Antonia.macris (talk) 03:34, 13 April 2019 (UTC)
[edit]
Feedback from Anushka Sah- Hey Antonia! I like the selection of your topic realizing the fact that we are degrading our ocean with much rapid speed and we need effective strategies for sustainable use of oceans. In one place you mentioned 'history' and wrote 'not sure whether you need this or not'. I think it would be helpful to add a little bit of history as it will give a good start to your topic. You can also link your history page to main Rio Convention Page as it doesn't have much information in it. Adding case example 'Mediterranean Action Plan', is really good idea as to support your article.
Good luck! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Anushka Sah (talk • contribs) 00:37, 13 April 2019 (UTC)
- Response to @Anushka Sah:'s Peer Review: Thank you so much for your comments, it was nice to get an external take on my work. I agree, I decided to in fact include the history section, as you suggested, and I elaborated and expanded on it further. In addition to linking it to the main Rio Convention Page (which you're right is not really active), I also linked it to each of the of the Rio Convention's pages, respectively, as well. In the end I decided against adding the Mediterranean action plan case study because I ended up going into depth for the rest of my article, and I felt that a new take on European waterways seemed out of place, considering the rest of the content. Thanks again! Antonia.macris (talk) 03:30, 13 April 2019 (UTC)
Merge and Redirect
[edit]Per the results of the discussion at Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/SDG 14 and the Rio Conventions, this article was deemed to be an unnecessary synthesis of information that is already available elsewhere. The contents of this article were split up and added to the existing articles Sustainable Development Goals and Rio Convention. If anyone happens to search for "SDG 14 and the Rio Conventions" that term will lead the user to Rio Convention because this article's research actually improved that pre-existing article significantly. ---DOOMSDAYER520 (Talk|Contribs) 18:46, 9 May 2019 (UTC)