Talk:Robert Henry Cain/GA1

GA Review

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GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):

The lede doesn't quite properly summarise the entire article; would suggest a few sentences on his early life and career before introducing the specifics of his VC action (although keep the introduction as a VC recipient, obviously)

Done. hope it's ok.

'After Arnhem he took part in Operation Doomsday, overseeing the German surrender in Norway and at the end of hostilities returned to his pre-war job at Royal Dutch Shell.' - Reword slightly please, makes him sound like he personally took the German surrender.

Done

'The 2nd Battalion South Staffordshire Regiment was part of 1st Airlanding Brigade which landed in Sicily in July 1943 as part of Operation Ladbroke. In the same month, Cain took command of the battalion's B Company' - Do we have any details on what Cain did during Labroke?

See below

'At Arnhem the British 1st Airborne Division and Polish 1st Independent Parachute Brigade were tasked to secure bridges across the Lower Rhine,' - Either 'tasked with securing' or 'were given the task of securing', I think.

Yep! Done

'In Arnhem the Allied plan quickly unraveled' - I don't it's clear why this was; although you mention the presence of extra German troops in the previous section, can you expand on why it unravelled, please. Just for context.

Done, I hope

'Lieutenant Colonel David Dobie of the 1st Battalion proposed a concentrated attack in a narrow pinch point between the Lower Rhine and the Arnhem railway line. The South Stafford would advance toward the bridge, with the remnants of the 1st and 3rd Battalions of the Parachute Regiment on their right flank, while the 11th Battalion remained in reserve.' - What is a 'narrow pinch point', please? And what is the 11th Battalion? Which unit did it belong to? And I think it should be' South Staffordshires', correct?

Done, edited and explained below.

You use the abbreviation of 'CO' several times; can you expand it and possibly link to commanding officer, if there's an article for it?

Reduced use and wikilinked

'Cain was one of three Majors defending the front line in Lonsdale Force's sector at the southern end of the eastern perimeter' - Do you mean all three defended the southern end, or that Cain was the only one? Rewrite and clarify, please.

Done

'decising that he "wasn't wounded enough to stay where [he] was".' - Little spelling error here.

Oops

'Working with the resistance' - Milorg is the name of the resistance, if you could add that in, and clarify it was Norwergian, that would be great.

It is now great

'Working with the resistance the British took the surrender of German troops in Norway without incident before returning to the UK on 25 August 1945.' - Need a comma after 'incident'

Another oops

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
'and the Tiger tank he engaged was in fact a StuG III.' - I don't see any mention of a Stug III or a self-propelled gun being engaged by Cain anywhere in the text of the battle; it only mentions tanks. Can this be clarified in the text of his actions during the battle, please?

Yes it can

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
VC image could do with a caption, and maybe ALT Text if you're feeling eager.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Good article, just needs some prose work and some expanding in certain areas. Skinny87 (talk) 15:31, 28 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers Skinny. I think I've covered everything, but I might have missed something out so I'll have a look later on. In all of the refs I've used, South Staffords (with an s, that was a typo above) is used as a common abbreviation, so I've kept a few examples. I'm afraid I've been totally unable to find out anything else about Cain, especially his pre Arnhem career. None of the books I've checked regarding Sicily mention him by name and have precious little info about Ladbroke or the Staffs role in it. Don't suppose you've got anything have you? Only one other thing, but I'm happy to change it if you prefer; do you really think the VC needs a caption? I kinda like the way it's part of the citation rather than framed in a box, and I think it's clear what it is from the title on the left. Just a personal pref though, so not a biggy. Ranger Steve (talk) 13:33, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hmm, a cursory look suggests nothing, but I haven't got Slaughter over Sicily with me, where Cain might rate a mention. I guess the VC is okay without a caption. So, I'll pass this now - congrats! Skinny87 (talk) 14:34, 3 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thankyou! Ranger Steve (talk) 11:43, 5 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]