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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Haiphamalicious. Peer reviewers: Ryan1514.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 03:06, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 28 October 2019 and 23 November 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): ALKNOPTR.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 03:06, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

note

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My objectives for this page in the next 4 weeks include: Week 1: Find good secondary sources and texts and lay down basic structure -polish the lead paragraph -lay down foundation structure: introduction, epidemiology, pathogenesis, pathophysiology, treatment, prevention Week 2: Work on intro, epidemiology, and pathogenesis sections Week 3: Work on pathophysiology, treatment, and prevention sections Week 4: Review, polish, look at reviewer's edits and make priority revisions --Haiphamalicious (talk) 20:06, 1 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Feedback by Ryan1514

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Week 1: Find good secondary sources and texts and lay down basic structure -polish the lead paragraph -lay down foundation structure: introduction, epidemiology, pathogenesis, pathophysiology, treatment, prevention

-->Lead section is a great summary that is concise and easy to follow.

Week 2: Work on intro, epidemiology, and pathogenesis sections –Epidemiology section gives relevant information.

-->Consider putting in a sentence about the cost effect of retinopathy, specifically diabetic retinopathy in the US. Great job combinging the phogenesis and pathophysiology. The [2] book source does not lead to the particular information that it is citing. I don’t know if that is a problem or not? Is this the same source that provides info about sickle cell/hyperviscosity/central artery thrombosis related diseases? Great “proliferative” and “other causes” sections.


Thank you for the feedback, the source 2 links to an ISBN since it is a physical book and not an e-text. Haiphamalicious (talk) 17:21, 22 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Week 3: Work on pathophysiology, treatment, and prevention sections—

-->Treatment section has a sentence starting with “evidence show”. The screening and prevention section may benefit from showing other ways to screen and prevent this disease besides telemedicine.

Week 4: Review, polish, look at reviewer's edits and make priority revisions –
   

-->Overall a concise page that gives all relevant information for the reader. Great Job!

Ryan1514 (talk) 06:41, 22 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]