Talk:Pre-engagement ring

Promise Ring in Bahá'í Culture

I removed

In American Bahá'í culture, a promise ring may be given to a prospective engagement partner prior to the required consent of both individuals' parents. At that point, this ring can then be considered an engagement ring or can be replaced by another ring for that purpose.

because it is untrue. In the Bahá'í Faith once a couple knows that they want to get married, (i.e. promise to each other) they have to immediatly go to their parents for consent, and only once they get consent can they claim to be promised or engaged. Secondly, as a Bahá'í I have never seen any other Bahá'ís who have had promised rings. -- Jeff3000 15:39, 23 October 2005 (UTC)

Copyrighted material removed

All material submitted by 68.231.211.63 seems to be taken from http://www.newsletter.kaijewels.com/meaning-promise-ring-kj-01.htm. I reverted to the most recent original version. Correct me if I'm wrong (and give advice; relatively new editor)!

Not just for the very young

A graduate student in my early twenties, I have never heard of anyone coveting their sweetheart's class ring or leather jacket. The phrase 'going steady' is not used by my generation. In my experience, promise rings are exchanged by couples who have serious plans for their relationship but who are not in a position to get engaged and start planning a wedding (because of commitments to school, military obligations, or simple lack of money). The whole article has a condescending tone to it, like the exchange of promise rings is nothing more than a "cute" high school trend. I would like to re-write much of the article with what I feel is a more modern interpretation, but I would like to hear what other people have to say first. Any thoughts?

Go for it. I totally agree. Pumpkingrrl 03:21, 27 March 2006 (UTC)

I totally agree - please rewrite it. No one exchanges class rings, letter jackets, or uses that terminology anymore.

I also agree with you. I would love to read your interpertation of this article. (ULL)

I have never seen very young (younger than 17) couples exchange promise rings. I would love to see this article re-written. I also do not feel that letterman's jackets are relevant to this entry as they signify "going steady" and promise rings generally signify a more serious relationship. -Aug. 3/06

As of right now, I am 27 years old and last night my boyfriend gave me a promise ring as his gift to me for our 7 year anniversary. We have been living together for 3 years and have discussed marriage. We do plan to marry in the future but financial reasons prevent us from doing so at this time. He did not know he was buying a "promise ring" until he looked at the receipt. He has no clue what it means to be giving me a promise ring, but I explained and his reaction was "I didn't know there was a ring before the engagement". He was only buying it because it was a diamond and he could afford it. I don't think most people buy them as a "promise ring", I think alot of people buy them because it's what they can afford. - 10/29/06

I am 48 y/o man and just a gave a promise ring to my girlfriend. It to us has the meaning that we intend to get engaged and maried. She was suprised to hear the term when I gave it to her, but knew exactly what it means. We plan on getting married/engaged. It is a sign that our relationship is very srious and that we are dedicated to each other. We do not view it as an engagement ring, although it could be used as one. It is not a strictly American cultural phenomena. I lived in Germany for five years and saw the same identity give to these rings. Letterman Jackets and class rings are still given in the U.S., but it is less common.

I think you should definately re write the article, because I confused my understanding of the promise ring with this 1950s version. I have a friend that recieved a promise ring because she and her boyfriend plan to get engaged, but they don't want to make the financial commitment until he gets a better job.

If it is true that "no one" uses class rings as promise rings, that should be cited, and the use of class rings as promise rings should be part of the article as part of the history of promise rings. Letterman's jackets would have no place in the article as they are obviously not rings of any sort. Class rings are still sometimes exchanged between couples (typically when still in school), and even if they are not exchanged with of signifying an intent of becoming engaged at a future date, they still qualify as promise rings as defined by this article.--RLent (talk) 22:55, 27 February 2008 (UTC)

I think you should re write but for a different reason than most said. everyone seems to think a promise ring means that you have an intention to be engaged when a promise ring can simply mean i love you and i want to be with you and no one else. kind of like saying i promise to only see you or i promise to be faithful. My boyfriend told me he was going to get me one and asked me if i wanted a promise ring or an engagement ring and i told him i am not ready for that type of commitment that if he was to get me a ring i wouldnt except an engagement ring cause even tho i love him im not ready to decide if i want to live the rest of my life with him or not. So to me a promise ring is just simply a symbol of his love which is why i not sure which finger i am supposed to wear it on. i dont people to see it an think i plan to marry him or get engaged to him but i dont plan on ending the relationship either. i guess you could say im still learning and discovering things about him so i really know who he is before i decide if he is the one for me or not. (Krazykicker (talk) 03:33, 5 March 2008 (UTC))

In reading this discussion, I became quite concerned. It appeared the majority of those who have so far reviewed the article want it removed or else rewritten for what appears to be some minor issues. As quite a few have pointed out, the article brings out the long-standing definition of "promise ring" as representing a promise of commitment. I wasn't aware that it was used between mere friends and a symbol of their committing to be friends forever. But the financial issues and time are all constraints that will viciate against one's making a formal proposal of marriage. Whereas, a promise ring is a symbol that there is a commitment and the individual is actually part of a pair, as well as an individual who is not available in terms of romance and dating.

I hope the highlights that a couple of people pointed out will be added so that there is more clarification. Meanwhile, my coming to this page was because I need to educate a friend on what a promise ring represents and especially what it means when a man has his mother select the ring for the intended woman. In my case, the man is from South America (I don't know if the country is important) but I do believe this is a practice that started in Europe and was spread to North America. I'll continue my research. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Vivavoce-11 (talk • contribs) 03:54, 27 July 2008 (UTC)

gender

The article makes it sound like high school guys are wearing their girlfriends' letterman jackets and class rings. I don't think that normally happens.

Agreed. The tradition of guys giving girls their class rings has been around for quite some time. It may even be more common now that high schoolers are getting their class rings earlier on in their high school careers. 67.34.32.247 04:17, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Actually, I don't know anyone, of either sex, who wore their significant other's class ring or letter jacket. I graduated from a large American public high school in New York in 1998.

Maybe it is no longer common in New York, but it is not uncommon in other parts of the country. Class rings are sometimes used as promise rings.--RLent (talk) 00:51, 21 December 2007 (UTC)

Agreed. =David^(talk)_(contribs) 17:43, 23 December 2007 (UTC)

I'm from south Louisiana and at my high school (I'm a freshman in college now, still in Louisiana) there were many girls who wore their boyfriend's class ring and/or letter jacket proudly, myself included. I still have my boyfriend's class ring, though we exchanged promise rings months ago. The class ring was, indeed, a place holder for the promise ring in our relationship, since he couldn't afford a diamond ring. January 2011 —Preceding unsigned comment added by 138.47.122.71 (talk) 21:38, 10 January 2011 (UTC)

US

I don't know if this os a widespread thing. In the UK I haven't really known of it, it mainly seems to appear in US references, so maybe add that it's not a usual thing in all places, but maybe mainly the US.

No, it's not common in the US either. This is a "hallmark" tradition.

Agreed, anyone know of any sources to cite so the article can mention how this is pretty much the jewelry equivalent of Sweetest Day?

I know numerous people that Have given their girlfriends promise rings because they can't necessarily get engaged (although they want to). This can be because of financial reasons, distance, or whatever. Obviously, you can get engaged and not live with each other, (EG someones in lawschool for 3 years, you probably don't want to be engaged for 3 years and planning a wedding during schooling could be hectic). From what I see, its an optional significant step prior to engagement.

I can provide a picture of what one may look like. ~dan --24.46.185.7 15:09, 28 September 2007 (UTC)

This is a very recent and, I would say, almost strictly U.S. thing (Never heard of it in Sweden or indeed anywhere else I've visited). If you google translate "promise ring" to other languages very few of them have any translation. The fact that the so called "history" section mentions 1. "Europe" as though it was a culturally homogenous entity, and 2. mentions "Shakespearian times" as some kind of widely accepted historic period tells me that it's nothing but bad copywriting by some ignorant bling peddlers. This whole section is complete horseshit. Oh yeah, and Merriam-Webster doesn't even have the word. If it really was an old tradition you would think that the word would have made its way into the dictionaries. Hamstermandat (talk) 19:47, 16 November 2011 (UTC)

Promised In 1977

I believe this is a practice in the southern United States, or at least it was in 1977. I was promised at the age of 18 to the girl that would later become my wife. Many other couples I knew were also promised and were later married. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 66.39.161.29 (talk) 14:05, 24 April 2008 (UTC)

History section seems dubious, suggest deletion

The entire history section seems suspect. A number of claims are unsupported and do not appear in either of the references (e.g. the existence of a nonspecific "illustration, dating from 1576 C.E." supposedly showing a promise ring being given).

Furthermore, neither of the references seems particularly credible.

The first is clearly a small commercial website that sells these sorts of rings, which there is no a priori reason to trust, and which clearly has a financial interest in promoting these rings as having a longstanding, illustrious history, whether they actually do or not.

The second reference may not even exist. It appears to refer to an article in a publication called A True Love Commitment, which I could not find independent reference to anywhere, and which, if extant, seems highly likely to be advertising matter. The article itself is also not referred to anywhere on the web that has been indexed by Bing except for a single site that appears to have plagiarized this wiki-article, and which contains the same citation, verbatim. Even if the cited article did exist, the fact that it cannot be found or its contents verified means it cannot provide support to any statements.

Ultimately, I would say, nothing in the history section is properly supported, and some of the claims strike me as suspicious. I suggest deleting the section unless someone can find credible sources for its claims. Opinions?

Fun with aluminum (talk) 22:48, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Strongly agree. Especially the part about "long history" smells bad. Blank the hell out of it. 72.235.141.126 (talk) 03:43, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

I tried to blank the hell out of it but was told it was against policy. Maybe I will try to blank it one word at a time. Everyone but the people selling these pre engagement/promise rings (which by the way are a strictly U.S. phenomenon) seem to agree the History portion is a load of bull. Hamstermandat (talk) 15:21, 14 November 2011 (UTC)

Confusing introduction

The introductory paragraph states that "Promise rings can be worn on any finger, but those symbolizing pre-engagement are generally worn on the right ring finger; sometimes, the left middle finger or right ring finger is used instead to prevent confusion with an actual engagement ring." This seems to be both redundant and confusing. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 68.64.208.33 (talk) 08:13, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

External Link

There are many styles you can choose from with diamond promise rings. You don't have to stick to a white diamond and you might want to choose from natural colored diamond rings for a really unique promise ring. The diamond promise ring is not something new. It has its roots in the Scribbling Ring used in Europe hundreds of years ago. This type of promise ring contained imbedded diamonds and using the diamonds they could write love notes to each other.

The price of a diamond promise ring usually ranged from $100 to $400. Although promise rings are typically associated with women, you can also get men's diamond promise rings. The prices for these are a bit higher because there is more metal used in making the rings.

Hi my name is Jhon Logan and I own www.123Promise-Ring.com, which is an informational site on jewelry, especially promise rings. I would like to put a link on my page for wikipedia because I believe there is a lot of valuable information here. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 180.214.232.16 (talk) 16:15, 15 April 2011 (UTC)

No, you may not do that. Your site is not 'informational', it's a commercial site, so you've already disqualified yourself as untrustworthy. I'm starting to think this whole 'promise ring' ritual was made up by jewelers to compensate for the decline in the marriage rate. 38.105.214.33 (talk) 23:24, 30 November 2012 (UTC)

Note: I'm not english-native, so this message will not be grammatically correct.

Hello, I noticed that this page is connected to another page from Italian Wikipedia called "Promise Ring", but this page is about a single debut, not the pre-engagement rings. For some unknown reason, I can't remove this wrong connection and if you go to the Italian page, it sends again to another english page called "Promise Ring (song)", that's the correct page. Probably it's some sort of default-connection. Could someone please handle this? — Preceding unsigned comment added by AndaPik (talk • contribs) 10:41, 12 September 2017 (UTC)