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Talk:North Potomac, Maryland/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: SounderBruce (talk · contribs) 11:13, 3 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Will review a bit later. SounderBruce 11:13, 3 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

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  • The flags aren't necessary, per MOS:INFOBOXFLAG
  • I would put median income and other demographic information (besides total population) in a later paragraph, rather than being so early.
  • "agricultural history" → historically rural or some other form that sounds less robotic
  • "area" is overused in the lead; introducing other names would be beneficial here
  • "1800s" is repeated twice in a single sentence; prefer use of 19th/20th century over 00s because of the first-decade overlap
  • "get" → "have" might be a bit better here
  • "good schools" is POV-ish
      • Addressed all of these issues with a re-write of the intro.

History

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Part 2

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  • "Today's" should be replaced by "Modern-day" or "Present-day"; mix it up for variety
  • "first settlements started in 1688" is a little plain; I suggest "first settlements were founded in 1688"
    • Changed to "The first settlements were established in 1688,...."
  • "19th Century" should not be capitalized
  • "made it easier for farmers to get their crops to markets" is a bit plain too; I suggest "provided farmers with better access to markets"
  • "became more prosperous" can be dropped
  • There's a length gap between 1883 and 1970. Please expand on when/how the suburbs were developed in this region.
    • Working on it. Remember that the area was almost all farmland until the 1980s. TwoScars (talk) 20:11, 20 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • Added "Eventually, some of the farmland was sold. During the Great Depression, some farmers became eager to sell their land because of financial hardship. Wealthy individuals began buying property in the Potomac area as part of their search for land where they could ride horses and hunt. Some farms, such as the 355-acre (144 ha) Maple Spring Farm, continued well into the 20th century. Much of this farm's land was sold in the 1970s and became North Potomac's Dufief subdivision." TwoScars (talk) 22:16, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • Added more about the horse farm and last farm to be developed. TwoScars (talk) 14:39, 22 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Historic Places

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Geography

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Climate

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Demographics

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Government

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Economy

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Transportation

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Education

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  • School address footnote is still too long
  • Football program does not need to be mentioned
    • Dropped sentence.
  • Individual elementary and middle schools do not need to be mentioned by name

Higher education

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Public library

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Recreation and wildlife

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Wildlife

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Footnotes

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  • Please trim these down or try to incorporate them into the prose. The Census Bureau footnotes are particularly long and not entire necessary for a single CDP, as they should described in a general article.

Citations

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Part 2

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General comments

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  • As mentioned above, this article is lacking an Infrastructure section. I would move the transportation information into it as a subheading and also include subsections for Healthcare and Utilities (per the WP:USCITIES guide).
  • No mention of public artwork, private arts organizations, or other culture? Surely there has to be something for the area.

I'll be back with more comments for the Historic places sections a bit later, but I will place this on hold for now. SounderBruce 09:45, 20 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Also, the active peer review request should be closed. I don't believe that articles are allowed to be at PR and GAN at the same time, but can't find the specific rule at this time. SounderBruce 09:46, 20 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Reading through now, the only real comment left is that the image captions are quite lacking. Other than that, I only have a few comments left for the Historic places section that I will post a bit later. SounderBruce 06:49, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I added to the captions. The Historic places section was fun for me to research, and I learned a lot. However, if you think it is too much history, I could make "Historic places" a subsection and have only two paragraphs with only one image. The DuFief Mill was pretty important, but the other sites are interesting but not necessarily essential to North Potomac—maybe one paragraph for DuFief and one paragraph for the other 3 sites. TwoScars (talk) 19:42, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@TwoScars: Your proposal for a shortened Historic places section would put this over the line. I think we can have this review wrapped up as soon as you do that. SounderBruce 07:23, 20 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Made change to shortened Historic places. TwoScars (talk) 15:26, 20 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@SounderBruce: Any other thoughts? Don't hesitate to say something needs changed—I plan to use North Potomac as a pattern for two other Maryland CDPs. TwoScars (talk) 20:30, 24 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I went through and copyedited the Historic places section. I do not see any other issues with the article, so I'm happy to finally pass this one. Sorry about the long time spent with this one! SounderBruce 05:53, 25 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]