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Talk:Murders of Annette Cooper and Todd Schultz

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Did you know nomination

[edit]
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by BorgQueen (talk12:58, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Created by Valereee (talk). Self-nominated at 00:25, 12 February 2023 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Murders of Annette Cooper and Todd Schultz; consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.[reply]

Comment: I know it's not usual to include the name of a person without an article, but this person has been fighting to get his name cleared for 40 years and I feel like it might be worth an exception. Valereee (talk) 00:30, 12 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]
General: Article is new enough and long enough
Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems

Hook eligibility:

  • Cited: Yes
  • Interesting: Yes
  • Other problems: Yes
QPQ: Done.

Overall: I'm happy with the name: I think there's a good reason to include it, since he's a key figure in the article and it adds significantly to the interest of the hook.

I worry that the phrasing is a little clunky: how about:

ALT0a ... that Dale Johnston was declared innocent of murdering and dismembering his stepdaughter and her fiancé in 1982, 30 years after being sentenced to death for it? UndercoverClassicist (talk) 20:49, 12 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would avoid gerunds, as you could substitute the it in the final clause with the boldfaced phrase and get a very misleading interpretation (i.e.: was declared innocent of murdering and dismembering his stepdaughter and her fiancé in 1982, 30 years after being sentenced to death for murdering and dismembering his stepdaughter and her fiancé in 1982).
I suggest:
ALT0b ... that Dale Johnston was declared innocent of the murder and dismemberment of his stepdaughter and her fiancé in 1982, 30 years after being sentenced to death for it?
I realise I'm coming back very late to this, but that's a great fix. Template updated above. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 10:08, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]