Talk:Mommy track
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Expanding Mommy track stub
[edit]I am planning on substantially revising this page in line with the course listed above. The current issue is a stub and is listed under WikiProject Economics and WikiProject Sociology. As the concept of a "mommy track" and the related concept of "opting out" have become increasingly prevalent and relevant in the United States today, I would like to expand this stub in order to provide a more in-depth overview of the topic.
In order to do so, I am currently planning on discussing several areas. I am specifically interested in the costs of childbearing and how that differs between fields, the wage gap for mothers, and differences in earnings for women over their lifetime. Though I will be focusing on the mommy track within the United States, I will have a section examining the concept in other countries, including Nordic countries and the United Kingdom.
I would appreciate any advice on other subjects that I should touch on in expanding this article or perspectives to examine. Thank you!
Allisonraven (talk) 19:53, 9 March 2012 (UTC)
Suggested revisions
[edit]In the beginning of your article, you use an in-text citation (Curiel 2008, Chuck N. Brandon P.), which isn’t really necessary/in the style of Wikipedia articles. Since you don’t have any others, I would suggest removing this. The part-time work and cultural pressures sections also read a little like a class paper to me, rather than a wiki article. I think this is because of the “another possible solution” diction and construction. Maybe just check out the Wiki Style Manual: http://en.wiki.x.io/wiki/Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style
Your links in the article text to wage gaps and women’s liberation movement are broken—there is either no Wikipedia article for those topics, or the titles of the articles have been misspelled. I ran across a couple of typos: in the High-Earning Women section, you say “could cost up hundreds”—you are missing the “to.” In Part-Time Work and Flexibility you say “lower wages that is the idea” and I think “that” should be removed/was an accident. Also, in Cultural Pressures and Influences, you write “Another possible reason for women leaving the workforce upon having mothers,” but I think you really mean “having children” or “becoming mothers.”
In the criticism section, using the word “claims” makes it sound like these people are lying. Maybe say “asserts” or another word with less problematic implications?
You might also consider linking to other related Wikipedia articles at the bottom of your entry.
Hope this helps! Weatherby551 (talk) 03:01, 9 April 2012 (UTC)
Suggested revisions
[edit]Hey Allison,
Here are some comments I have about your article:
- Is the mommy track seen only in developed countries?
- Would it be possible to quote the New York Times text in which the term was first used?
- Typo: “could cost up hundreds of thousands of dollars”
- Consider expanding your “High-Earning Women” section to include specific examples of discrimination other than discrimination against women who work in law firms.
- Consider expanding your “Low-Earning Women” section to include more in-depth explanations and specific examples.
- Typo: “One possible contributor to mothers earning lower wages that is the idea that”
- I would suggest condensing your references.
Your article is really interesting! In general, I would recommend expanding it by adding more detail and maybe adding another case study.
Jak8 (talk) 03:35, 9 April 2012 (UTC)
Article Suggestions
[edit]Alison, I only have a couple suggestions for you.
It seems as though the concept of paternity leave is relevant to this topic, but how child birth effects men in the workplace is only very briefly mentioned. I think it would be an interesting subtopic to expand upon a little bit, especially how the emergence of paternity leave has or hasn't affected the issue of "mommy track".
Additionally, you talked about how the term was coined in 1989. After reading your article I was left wondering whether mommy track is as much of an issue as it was in 1989 as it is today in 2012. I would make it more clear in your article about whether discrimination against women in the workplace due to child birth has experienced any improvements at all, or not.
Also, you mention in your introduction that mommy track also affects developing nations, but you don't mention any developing nations in your case studies. I would either specify in the introduction of your article that you are discussing this in relation to developed and industrialized nations, or add at least one developing nation in your case studies section.
Finally, have you thought about adding your page to WikiProject Feminism? I know you talked about how the term is controversial to feminism, but it relates to female discrimination in the workplace, which I would assume would be relevant to their WikiProject.
Overall, great article I really enjoyed reading it!
Hmccann (talk) 20:49, 10 April 2012 (UTC)
Alison, you may want to include some literary authors that have written stories about the mommy track, i.e. Ayelete Waldman as she has the Mommy track series. I know that when I was in law school and also pregnant, these books were really fun to read. I also wrote my law school graduation thesis on the mommy track with statistics of women in law school who also have a family. I focused on those that were having children during and/or soon after law school. I practiced for 13 years and then walked about from my law practice. Yes, I am one of the overeducated women who walk away from a very expensive degree.Wikiyaldah (talk) 00:24, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
Response to Suggestions
[edit]I'm a little confused by the question about mommy track affecting developing nations... I was under the impression that I only discuss industrialized nations in this article. I left in some previous info from the original stub as one of you noticed, and I think it does make sense to just go ahead and eliminate it (the part with parenthetical citations), so thanks for pointing out its incongruence! Also thank you for the copy edits and the idea of alternate words.
Should references be condensed? That's a suggestion of Jak8 but I was unaware that this was a problem.
The idea of paternity leave does seem relevant, as does the difference between 1989 and today. I will try to find ways to incorporate both of these to the article.
Thanks for the help!Allisonraven (talk) 01:50, 11 April 2012 (UTC)
Suggestions
[edit]In the introduction, make sure you put the citation at the end of the article, instead of putting it directly inside the article. There should be a comma after "In sociological terms". Also, maybe you can link your article to "Opting Out". Also, you may want to expand part-time work and flexibility by looking for statistics of what percentage of women hold part time jobs compared to men. Furthermore, you can describe the nature of part time jobs compared to full time jobs. For examples, are certain types of jobs more likely to be part time than others, are pay rates different, benefits different, etc. etc. Perhaps you can revise your article so that sounds more encyclopedic. Some suggestions are to cut down on naming specific people such as Sharon Hays, and to refrain from using phrases like "This is the one of the reasons". Furthermore, instead of saying "the tax code sees..." perhaps you can say "The tax code assumes men as the..." Other than that, I think this is a great and interesting article, and you have covered the topic well! AlisaYu (talk) 03:28, 11 April 2012 (UTC)
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[edit]This article is the subject of an educational assignment at Rice University supported by the Wikipedia Ambassador Program during the 2011 Q3 term. Further details are available on the course page.
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