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John Bayley's memoirs about his life with Iris Murdoch, especially after she was afflicted with Alzheimers, portray himself as a faithful, endlessly nurturing and patient partner. He wrote that because of her condition they lived in squalor, and that because of her demented behavior he rarely had a peaceful moment. The English writer A.N. Wilson, who was a long-time friend of both of them, strongly disputes Bayley's account in his book Iris Murdoch As I Knew Her. He points out that they were comfortably wealthy (Murdoch left an estate of two million pounds), and could easily have hired nurses, aides and housekeepers. They could have lived in clean, safe and pleasant surroundings. He considered it abusive to Murdoch that Bayley rejected any other care for her, than he could provide himself. Wilson also believes that Bayley made a cottage industry for himself with his memoirs about Iris's pitifully diminished condition. He believes that Bayley failed to honor his wife's whole life, her radiant intelligence and numerous friendships and accomplishments. Wilson believes that Bayley concentrated on the few years of Murdoch's mental decay out of long-submerged jealousy and envy.
Younggoldchip (talk) 13:23, 10 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]