Talk:Geoffrey von Maltzahn
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Cleanup request 1: Removal of Awards
[edit]![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
Hi, I'm Lindy and I'm on the communications team for Flagship Pioneering, where Geoffrey von Maltzahn is a partner. As my User page explains, I have a financial conflict of interest with this Wikipedia article as an employee of the firm. It's been on my mind for a while that this Wikipedia article has a banner at the top stating that cleanup is needed to bring it in line with Wikipedia's standards. I'm afraid I'm not aware of the page's history, and it may well have been created or edited by someone with a link to Flagship or Geoffrey, and I am sorry if that is the case. I've been sharing what I've learned about Wikipedia's guidelines and Terms of Use with my team to help make sure that no-one edits Flagship-related pages in future.
In the meantime, I'd like to do what I can to bring this page back into proper Wikipedia standards, addressing anything promotional.
Request: After a close read, I'd like to propose the Awards and recognition section be removed. To me, this feels like the most potentially promotional part of the page and a good place to start.
Thanks for reviewing this and I'll try to reply as soon as I can to any questions or comments from editors. Lindy D at Flagship (talk) 19:08, 14 June 2024 (UTC)
- @Lindy D at Flagship: Thanks for making the request. I've removed that section and also some other parts that were promotional, poorly sourced or unsourced. SmartSE (talk) 15:42, 10 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, User:Smartse and the other edits you made. I'll be posting a second request in a moment to continue to clean up the page. Lindy D at Flagship (talk) 21:40, 12 July 2024 (UTC)
Cleanup request 2: Add citations to Early life and education section
[edit]![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
Hi, this is Lindy from Flagship Pioneering again. I'm back with a second request, this time about adding citations to the Early life and education section and lightly updating the content. Right now this paragraph has a "citation needed" tag at the end. In the draft I put together, I've added supporting citations after every factual claim.
Revised Early life and education section
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Early life and education[edit]Geoffrey von Maltzahn was born in Arlington, Texas, and subsequently moved to Alexandria, Virginia where he graduated from Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology.[1] He was awarded his B.S. in Chemical Engineering from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) in 2003,[2] his Master of Science degree in Bioengineering from the University of California, San Diego in 2005, and his PhD from the Harvard–MIT Division of Health Sciences and Technology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in 2010.[3] At MIT, von Maltzahn was mentored by Sangeeta Bhatia,[4] and won the Lemelson-MIT Prize in 2009 for developing nanotechnology-based cancer treatments.[5] References
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I tried to cite academic news sources whenever possible, e.g. MIT News. As you can see, I also added a line noting that Dr. von Maltzahn was mentored by Sangeeta Bhatia and won the Lemelson-MIT Prize. Dr. Bhatia and the Lemelson-MIT Prize are both notable enough to have Wikipedia entries, so this information seems noteworthy enough to include. (My previous request was to entirely cut the Awards and recognitions section, so I'm certainly aware of the necessity of trimming claims that could be perceived as promotional. But, again, this information seems particularly noteworthy.)
Please let me know what you think. Lindy D at Flagship (talk) 21:45, 12 July 2024 (UTC)
Partly done: I've edited the line about being mentored by Bhatia. The source just quotes him as calling her a good role model, and it's an alumni magazine writing a fluff piece about her - this doesn't seem like due weight. The fact that she's his thesis advisor (from the second source) seems both more relevant and concrete.
Meanwhile, the prize is the Lemelson-MIT Student prize, which is much less notable than the main prize. The text did not make this distinction and was clearly misleading, and I'm not sure the student prize merits inclusion. Rusalkii (talk) 22:53, 12 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review and update, User:Rusalkii. Your explanation about the Lemelson-MIT "student" prize makes sense—though he is listed on the Wikipedia article as a recipient. Regardless, I apologize for not clarifying that it was the student award. I'm about to post another request, this time about the Career section. If you have time it would be great if you could look at that one as well. Lindy D at Flagship (talk) 21:50, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
Cleanup request 3: Reworking the Career section
[edit]![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
Hi, Lindy from Flagship Pioneering here again. Genuinely appreciate editors help so far with cleaning up this article. I think it already looks a lot better! I now have a third request, this time about cleaning up and revising the Career section. The draft I've put together is a substantial reworking that chronologically covers his career, focusing only on the most notable developments and citing reliable sources (Business Insider, Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, etc) throughout:
Revised Career section
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In 2009, von Maltzahn joined Flagship Pioneering,[1] a Cambridge, Massachusetts-based venture capital firm investing in life sciences biotechnology, and sustainability startups.[2] In his first few years at Flagship, von Maltzahn helped launch several such companies, including Seres Therapeutics[3] and Indigo Agriculture.[4] He served as chief technology officer at Seres when the company developed SER-109, one of the first microbiome therapeutics.[5] In 2017, he was included on Business Insider's list of power players in the biotechnology space.[6] In 2018, von Maltzahn cofounded two biotechnology startups, Generate Biomedicines[7] and Tessera Therapeutics.[8] Two years later he became a general partner at Flagship.[9] In 2023, von Maltzahn and another Flagship partner, Jacob Rubens, co-founded Quotient Therapeutics, a biotechnology startup with offices in both Massachusetts and the UK.[10] Quotient uses genome sequencing technology to develop medication for diseases caused by somatic mutations.[11] References
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As you can see, the draft is about forty words shorter than the current Career section. I hope you'll agree it's an improvement, but I will leave that verdict to you. Please let me know what you think. Lindy D at Flagship (talk) 22:08, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Tagging User:Smartse and User:Rusalkii since you've reviewed previous requests about cleaning up this page. Lindy D at Flagship (talk) 20:24, 25 July 2024 (UTC)
Done
I can't access the Generate Biomedicines and Tessera Therapeutics source. Taking it on faith because everything else looks good and "he was involved in this company" is noncontroversial. I've removed the Business Insider power players list, per my general rule of thumb of only including awards with independent coverage or the award itself having a wikipedia page. Rusalkii (talk) 05:18, 26 August 2024 (UTC)
Cleanup request 4: Updating the article introduction
[edit]![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
Lindy from Flagship Pioneering here with another request. I'm still trying to help clean this article up in order to address any editorial concerns. To that end, I've put together an updated introduction that briefly summarizes the article's content while reducing the number of number of listed companies from seven to five:
Revised introduction
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Geoffrey von Maltzahn (born July 22, 1980) is an American biological engineer and businessman in the biotechnology and life sciences industry. Von Maltzahn has cofounded companies, including Indigo Agriculture,[1] Generate Biomedicines,[2] Seres Therapeutics,[3] Tessera Therapeutics,[4] and Quotient Therapeutics.[5] References
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Again, this version is shorter than the existing introduction and only lists the most notable companies that he has founded or cofounded. I provided citations to prominent media coverage (The Wall Street Journal, Daily Beast, Boston Business Journal, etc) in which Dr. von Maltzahn's relationship with these companies is clearly stated. These same companies are also identified in the updated Career section draft that I previously posted on this Talk page, which editors have not yet had a chance to review.
Please let me know what you think. Lindy D at Flagship (talk) 21:28, 19 August 2024 (UTC)
Done I don't really see why this is better (note that citations are not required in the lead, since it is supposed to be summarizing the body text) but it also doesn't seem any worse Rusalkii (talk) 05:11, 26 August 2024 (UTC)