Talk:Edwin P. Morrow/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Arsenikk ^(talk) 18:25, 30 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Some comments:

The lead should try to present information in the order of importance. The second and third sentence do not talk about the person in question at all, but rather his relatives. There is no problem with including this in the article, I am in doubt whether it is important enough for the lead (but I will let it go), but it is far from important enough to be so far up.
There is no mention of that he is from the United States in the early bit of the lead. This is not obvious for non-Americans. (fixed)
The Spanish–American War uses an endash (–), not a hyphen (-), because the war was between the two countries. See WP:DASH.
Similarly, use endashes for votes, not emdashes. (fixed)

Could you look into the second and third sentences, and perhaps say a little more generally about him first before starting the chronology of his life. Once that is done, I'll pass the article. Arsenikk ^(talk) 18:25, 30 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've done a little tweaking. I'm trying to keep from being too redundant in the lead. Let me know if further improvements are needed. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 16:26, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

All good. Congratulations with a good article. Arsenikk ^(talk) 18:29, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]