Jump to content

Talk:Deni Avdija/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 08:43, 23 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Will be taking on his review as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020. MWright96 (talk) 08:43, 23 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Lead

[edit]
  • Delink Israel per MOS:OVERLINK
  • "he plays the small forward and power forward positions." - plays in the
  • "he joined Maccabi Tel Aviv in 2013, where he shone as a youth player." - more formal; excelled

Youth career

[edit]
  • "Avdija played football until he entered fourth grade," - how about changing it to association football for ambgiutiy?
  • "Avdija initially competed at the youth level for Bnei Herzliya. In 2013, he joined the youth ranks of Maccabi Tel Aviv." - you could merge these two sentences and rewrite them accordingly
  • "at Adidas Next Generation Tournament (ANGT) Munich." - at the Adidas Next Generation Tournament (ANGT) in Munich.

Maccabi Tel Aviv (2017–present)

[edit]
  • "he made his professional debut in the Israeli League," - Israeli Premier League
  • "Avdija recorded a then career-high 22 points," - career-high of 22

Israeli junior national team

[edit]
  • "Avdija led the tournament in rebounds (12.6) and assists (5.3) per game, to go with 15.3 points per game." - with 12.6 rebounds, 5.3 assists and 15.3 per game.
  • "Appearing tired from his previous tournament," - some missing words at the end of this portion of text and lacking in endurance

Israeli senior national team

[edit]

Personal life

[edit]
  • "and her hometown is kibbutz Beit Zera.[1][33][31][34]" - refs should be in numerical order
  • " Sharon Artzi, is Jewish-Israeli, was a track and field athlete and basketball player," - a Jewish-Israeli from Kibbutz Beit Zera,
  • "and her hometown is kibbutz B eit Zera." - this is not need since it will be mentioned in the above point
  • "Avdija holds dual citizenship to Israel and Serbia," - of
  • "while his basketball season was suspended" - the

Israeli League table

[edit]
  • The minus sign in the PIR column should be replaced by en dashes (–) per MOS:DASH

References

[edit]
  • Those references that have hyphens should be replaced by en dashes (–) per MOS:DASH
  • References 5, 7 and 9 are missing the author(s) who wrote the respective articles

Am going to put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address/query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 12:00, 23 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: All comments have been addressed. Sportzeditz (talk) 15:25, 23 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]