Talk:Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District
This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
Article policies
|
Find sources: Google (books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL |
![]() | Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District has been listed as one of the Social sciences and society good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. | ||||||||||||
![]() | Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District is part of the Briarcliff Manor series, a good topic. This is identified as among the best series of articles produced by the Wikipedia community. If you can update or improve it, please do so. | ||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||
Current status: Good article |
![]() | This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||
|
![]() | The contents of the Briarcliff Middle School page were merged into Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District on January 6, 2015. For the contribution history and old versions of the redirected page, please see its history; for the discussion at that location, see its talk page. |
For those who may read this, I'm not quite sure how to add this information, or whether it's quite notable, but both Dell and Konica Minolta have made a point to publish case studies of their technology upgrades with this school district, in order for it to begin some 2015-16 education initiative associated with PARCC. I'm linking the two pages below:
It may, however, be worth noting because most schools, especially public schools, are still falling behind in technology; and very few are publicised by such major corporations like Dell and Konica for their partnership with them.--ɱ (talk) 23:13, 20 November 2014 (UTC)
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Ritchie333 (talk · contribs) 10:05, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
As I've been asked, I can review this
Lead
[edit]- "The district is an independent public entity. It is governed by the district Board of Education" - this could probably be one sentence
- done.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:25, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "three schools serving about 1,600 students. It spends an average of $24,858 per pupil and has a student to teacher ratio of 13:1" - this claim in the lead should also go in the body somewhere
- done.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:25, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- For acronyms such as "UFSD", define them first ie: in this case, put that in brackets immediately after the title. That way a reader knows exactly what the acronym is referring to.
- Well UFSD is a common acronym, but the district itself is often referred to as the BMSD, BMUFSD, and Briarcliff Manor UFSD. How should I fix this...--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:25, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- You'll be surprised at what's "obvious" and "common" to one person isn't to another (eg: somebody foreign born living in the US who's never been to school there). To fix it, I would start the lead off with "The Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District (UFSD)". That should fix it Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:10, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
- I know that UFSD won't be familiar to all readers, though 99% of this article's readers will be from the US. Regardless it should be clarified, although your above proposed way makes it seem like UFSD is an acronym solely representing this district.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:37, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
- You'll be surprised at what's "obvious" and "common" to one person isn't to another (eg: somebody foreign born living in the US who's never been to school there). To fix it, I would start the lead off with "The Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District (UFSD)". That should fix it Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:10, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
- Well UFSD is a common acronym, but the district itself is often referred to as the BMSD, BMUFSD, and Briarcliff Manor UFSD. How should I fix this...--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:25, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "won first place for the small district category of the 2008 Digital School Districts Survey" - though this claim is sourced, again the information should be repeated and expanded in the body
- done.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:25, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
Comments on the body to follow. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:05, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
History
[edit]- "In 1865, a one-room schoolhouse was built on land" - might be useful to say whereabouts exactly
- done.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- The book sources could do with page numbers
- This'll take a while, and some are more accessible than others, some have no page numbers. Will work on this soon.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- Okay, I believe I added all I can; Gelard's, Pattison's, and the Centennial book are both too short and don't have page numbers. Bosak's, Yasinsac's, and the Family Album aren't easy to find; I'll have to go back to Briarcliff to get them, and next I'll be there will be around April. Seeing as it's not a GA requirement, please let this pass with my assurance that I'll return to fill in the rest.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 01:06, 23 January 2015 (UTC)
- This'll take a while, and some are more accessible than others, some have no page numbers. Will work on this soon.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "Briarcliff Public School was built in 1898 and burned down in 1928" - did nothing significant occur between those two years?
- That's right, so far as all of my sources say.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "$50,000 ($1.31 million today)" - when is "today"?
- I use an inflation template that will take the 50,000 number and change it into the current year's dollar value; I use 'today' instead of {{currentyear}} as it'll be more accurate; the inflation template is manually updated and may not be technically accurate to whatever the current year is, although it would be accurate enough to "today". It's been brought up before by other editors, most recently around the end of 2014, where "{{currentyear}}" would say 2015 but the inflation template would be accurate to 2014 figures.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "the nearby Ossining High School In 1918" - period missing
- fixed.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "In 1918, the Briarcliff school began educating students through high school" - why did the narrative just jump back from 1928 to 1918?
- fixed.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- Pace University could be wikilinked
- done.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- (in image caption) "the baseball and softball fields are under construction" - are they still under construction?
- Until Template:Cite tweet exists, I can't find a source for this. The tweet in question is here. So without RSs, it should stay that way...--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "leasing the middle-school building, and the middle school was moved" - to avoid repetition, the second "middle school" could be simply referred to as "it"
- "Pace University began leasing the middle-school building, and it was moved to a portion of the new high school building."? That seems to imply that the MS building was moved into the HS building.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "and senior housing was built" - as this links to retirement home, which I don't believe is a term not used in the US, I'd use that instead
- OK.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:48, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
General information
[edit]- This New York Times source could be mined further - it states the district is "prized because of the close relationships students can form with their mentors as the result of its small size", for example
- I tried to get everything worthwhile from it. The example you state seems rather POV and opinion-based; not necessarily factual. It's better to say the student-teacher ratio is 13:1, which is an unalterable fact.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 22:03, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- But that doesn't mean you can't cite that, saying it's the opinion of the New York Times. It would certainly add some colour to this section, which seems rather short otherwise. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:05, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
- Which section were you looking for it to be added to?--ɱ (talk · vbm) 21:37, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
- But that doesn't mean you can't cite that, saying it's the opinion of the New York Times. It would certainly add some colour to this section, which seems rather short otherwise. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 10:05, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
- I tried to get everything worthwhile from it. The example you state seems rather POV and opinion-based; not necessarily factual. It's better to say the student-teacher ratio is 13:1, which is an unalterable fact.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 22:03, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "after George A. Todd, Jr.,[4] who was the village's first teacher" - I'd leave the comma out, myself
- OK, done.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 22:03, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- kindergarten and second grade could be wikilinked
- done.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 22:03, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "The student to teacher ratio is 21:1" - this information is included twice
- fixed.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 22:03, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "The school runs the Greenhouse Club, which donated to charities, fixed old laptops, and" ... shouldn't this be in the present tense, unless the club has now stopped running?
- I know from sources that they did these activities; it doesn't mean they're regular activities they're still doing.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 22:03, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- Rather than clumping four citations about the Greenhouse Club together at the end of the paragraph, it may be more helpful to split them out, and re-use each one if a fact is required twice
- done.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 22:53, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- "The school is noted for its annual musicals" - per WP:ITSHOULDBENOTED, rather than just saying "it's noted", add some specifics from the source such as sellout tickets and links with professionals
- fixed.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 01:57, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
- I think more from Briarcliff High School's lead could be included here, such as the high student achievement and testing scores, and 100% proficiency in Maths and English
- done.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 01:57, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
Summary
[edit]- I can't think of anything else, so I'll put the review on hold pending improvements. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:53, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
- I addressed everything, but we'll have to revisit a few issues.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 01:57, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
- @Ritchie333: awaiting your comment on the few remaining issues.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 02:58, 26 January 2015 (UTC)
- {{re}} doesn't seem to ping. Anyway, I just came back to this and I think the only thing left was popping a bit more in "General information" from the NYT source. That's now done, so I'm happy to pass the review. Well done. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:27, 27 January 2015 (UTC)
- @Ritchie333: awaiting your comment on the few remaining issues.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 02:58, 26 January 2015 (UTC)
- I addressed everything, but we'll have to revisit a few issues.--ɱ (talk · vbm) 01:57, 22 January 2015 (UTC)
External links modified
[edit]Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 2 external links on Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20140903131214/https://reportcards.nysed.gov/files/2011-12/RC-2012-661402020000.pdf to https://reportcards.nysed.gov/files/2011-12/RC-2012-661402020000.pdf
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20140903131214/https://reportcards.nysed.gov/files/2011-12/RC-2012-661402020000.pdf to https://reportcards.nysed.gov/files/2011-12/RC-2012-661402020000.pdf
When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true or failed to let others know (documentation at {{Sourcecheck}}
).
This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}}
(last update: 5 June 2024).
- If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
- If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 09:31, 8 November 2016 (UTC)
External links modified
[edit]Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 2 external links on Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20140202123114/http://briarcliff.ss.syntaxcom.com/community/school_enrollment to http://briarcliff.ss.syntaxcom.com/community/school_enrollment
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131215181054/http://www.pnwboces.org/CELandHR/PDF/2012-13CEL_PreviewProgramOfferings.pdf to http://www.pnwboces.org/CELandHR/PDF/2012-13CEL_PreviewProgramOfferings.pdf
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}}
(last update: 5 June 2024).
- If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
- If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 16:10, 25 July 2017 (UTC)
Start a discussion about improving the Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District page
Talk pages are where people discuss how to make content on Wikipedia the best that it can be. You can use this page to start a discussion with others about how to improve the "Briarcliff Manor Union Free School District" page.
- Wikipedia good articles
- Social sciences and society good articles
- GA-Class Featured topics articles
- Wikipedia featured topics Briarcliff Manor good content
- Low-importance Featured topics articles
- Low-importance school articles
- GA-Class New York (state) articles
- Low-importance New York (state) articles
- GA-Class Hudson Valley articles
- Low-importance Hudson Valley articles
- WikiProject Hudson Valley articles