Talk:Angiopolybia pallens
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Class Comments
[edit]I made some edits to your page, mainly I changed your small box with the taxonomic information into a taxobox and moved your general description to the top of the page. I added some links into your article because you had none. I also edited writing by adding punctuation, changing unnecessary or informal words, and changed the wording of some of your sentences to make them easier to understand. Good article! Katieortman 10:33, 30 September 2014
I added even more links to your page because it is still classified as an orphan page even with new link additions. I specifically added links to the "Description and Identification" section. I also noticed that some of the information in the “Taxonomy and Phylogeny” information was incomplete. I tried to access the article, which was used for this section, but there was no link so instead I will give my commentary here: The author says there are four different different species in the Angiopolybia genus, and it would be more effective to name these 4 species as well. Also, the author should describe what a basal swarm founding wasp is. I moved the information about the construction of the nests into the “Description and Identification” section because it didn’t fit in the “Taxonomy and Phylogeny” section. I also edited the “Description and Identification” section to make it flow better because the information was very choppy. As far as suggestions go, I would definitely add more information about the morphological appearance of the queen wasps, because this was very interesting. Good start! Jamie Halpern 12:10, 2 October 2014
Zroscope Comments
[edit]Edited this sentence in the Overview: "The wasp is generally seen in Brazilian rainforest[s]." Added s and wikilinked Brazilian to Brazilian Wiki page. Wikilinked rainforests to rainforests wiki page. Wikilinked nectar, Lepeletier, carcasses, etc., any word I believed would have Wiki page that was not wikilinked. I checked them to make sure they had links to pages. I may have skipped a few though. The more links the better.
Does the sentence "This will be further discussed later on." need to be there in the paragraph under the heading "Description and Identification"? The readers can scroll down the page, and I would assume they know that all information is located on the page somewhere. Well, that statement is nothing I've seen in a Wiki page before, anyway.
The sentences "The wasps prefer more humid environments and are more active when humidity levels are higher. However, the wasps are generally more active during the cooler parts of the day, like the early morning or around dusk." under "Distribution and Habitat" seem kind of conflicting. Are they more active during high humidity levels, or cooler parts of the day, or both..?
Edited these sentences: "They are more active in the daytime compared to most other wasps. The wasps tend to be most active at collecting nectar between 7-8am, prey collection between 10-11 am and the pulp collection from nest building generally happens before foraging. In general other wasp species were found to start their activity later in the day and end earlier.". The word "most" was getting repetitive, but I couldn't think of a better way to edit that. And was that "from" or "for" nest building?
Made more minor grammatical edits: "also are" to "are". Changed "experiment conducted about the wasps feeding patterns." to "experiment conducted to study the wasps feeding patterns.".
Under "Carrion Feeding", do you have any examples of those bigger wasps that displace A. pallens ? Could you mention them? That's interesting! The entire species is!
Added a comma "Swarming Behavior" paragraph. I wish there was more info on "cyclic intracolony factors" online. So the second swarm doesn't leave until the old nest is destroyed? Who destroys it? They do?
Added a comma in "Communication". So a member of the first swarm guides the second swarm to the new nesting site after the beginning of its construction?
Changed "avoid any access for predators." to "bar any access for predators." "Negate" might be better than "bar". Added "the" in "ability of the adult population...".
In "Queen Intermediate Conflict" is it "undeveloped" or "underdeveloped" ovaries? Changed "later on" to "earlier on" since you were referencing size earlier.
Added a comma in "Morphological Appearance" paragraph and added in s in "cannot be detected by difference[s] in size alone.". Another comma added.
Under "Genetic Diversity", what does "(also all on to the east of Brazil.)" mean? Reword, maybe. Deleted "The" in "The group C", now "Group C" begins sentence.
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