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Warning re advertising/promotion

[edit]

Hi, I hope this warning can be deleted now. If not, could you please let me know what specific changes you would recommend? (I'm on the board so can't edit it myself). Thanks.

delete

DeborahWC (talk) 16:48, 23 August 2015 (UTC) DeborahWC[reply]

Hello Deborah, I've given the prose a once-over, and the tone of most of the article is "pretty good" now, that I can tell. These specific sentences could be improved, to my wiki-eyes:

  • To create a library, U.S. volunteers organize a local book drive to collect donations of gently used books that are suitable for African readers.
  • Each library requests the specific types of books they need.
  • ALP sends books with universal appeal or with specific relevance to Africa.
  • In addition to the donated books, ALP sends a set of HIV/AIDS books written especially for African children.
  • In order to help promote African writers, ALP is a sponsor of The Golden Baobab Prize for children's stories by African writers.[10]

As you can see, only one of the sentences has cited a source... and the "source" in this case is just the homepage of the award-organization, not something found at WP:SOURCES like a newspaper/magazine/book/govtAgencyReport/etc. While it is not verboten to have sentences without sources, or to use self-sourced information, is *is* verboten to have anything promotional, which includes any promotional claims. So, what claims do I see above, being made in wikipedia's voice, but without a WP:RS backing up the claim?

  • ALP doesn't just collect books and ship them -- ALP creates libraries
  • 100% of ALP books are gently used
  • 100% of ALP books are suitable for African readers
  • African library-owners control the books they receive from ALP
  • ALP books have universal appeal
  • ALP books have specific relevance to Africa
  • ALP sends self-published medical advice which is super important
  • ALP medical advice is great for kids
  • ALP promotes African writers too
  • ALP is a sponsor of this WP:NOTEWORTHY award , see link , they have their very own website

My apologies for the sometimes-sarcastic phrasing and the exaggeration of what is being implied -- but I'm trying to hammer home the point here, so that you fully understand me, promotional advertising-like claims are most definitely being made here. This sort of phrasing and tone, is why the article has the ugly tag at the top. Now, that said, if you have a newspaper-source -- can be local or can be WSJ, can be in English or can be in Swahili -- which explicitly says in the journalist's voice (as opposed to in a quote from the ALP founders/employees/partners/recipients/etc) that the books ALP collects and ships are "gently used" for instance ... then and only then, can wikipedia say in wikipedia's voice, that the ALP books are "gently used"[1] ... because *then* the claim has *been* backed up. See WP:PROVEIT. Without such wiki-reliably-sourced backup, wikipedia prose MUST stick to boring just-the-facts non-judgemental non-promotional tone:

  • Nope: To create a library, U.S. volunteers organize a local book drive to collect donations of gently used books that are suitable for African readers.
  • Yup: ALP volunteers in the United States collect used, donated books for later shipment to libraries in Africa.

The difference in factual content minimal; we still tell the reader that USA personnel collect the books, that the personnel are volunteers, that the books are both donated and also used, and finally that the books are later shipped off to Africa, where they are put into libraries. But all (basically) of the promotional claims are removed. No longer do we say that ALP 'creates' libraries. We just say that the books are shipped to libraries. No longer do we say the books are gently used. We just call them used. No claims whatsoever are made, in wikipedia's unsourced voice, about suitability of the content. We just say that the books are sent to Africa. I've also changed some subtle wording: I don't say that the volunteers *organize* and that it is a book *drive* and emphasize the *local* nature of the ALP work. I just say: volunteers collect books. As simple as possible, as boring as possible, just-the-facts. Make sense?

If you can rewrite the promotional-sounding bits, to use neutral language, no WP:PUFFERY, no claims (unless explicitly and specifically backed up by WP:SOURCES independent from ALP and partners and clients), then make some additional edit-requests, that will help improve the article. You can leave me a note on my usertalkpage if this is unclear and/or too hard, click 'talk' in my signature, then 'new section' at the top of the page, type your note, and click save. 75.108.94.227 (talk) 14:19, 24 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I am writing again in the hope this warning can be deleted now. I have suggested some edits below according to the suggestions from August, which I am grateful for--just haven't had the chance to implement until now. (I'm on the board so can't edit it myself). Thanks.

delete

The person who gave me feedback in August identified 5 problematic sentences so I have numbered the edits that I am requesting below: 1) the suggestion was to change "To create a library, U.S. volunteers organize a local book drive to collect donations of gently used books that are suitable for African readers." to "ALP volunteers in the United States collect used, donated books for later shipment to libraries in Africa." Someone already made that change, which I appreciate.

2 and 3) In the second to last paragraph, please delete: "Each library requests the specific types of books they need. ALP sends books with universal appeal or with specific relevance to Africa"

4) In the second to last paragraph, please change: "In addition to the donated books, ALP sends a set of HIV/AIDS books written especially for African children." to "In addition to the donated books, ALP purchases supplemental books to include in the libraries: the Junior African Writers Series (JAWS) HIV/AIDS readers [1] and Hesperian Health Guides.

5) In the last paragraph, please delete: "In order to help promote African writers," and delete the reference.

--DeborahWC (talk) 19:38, 3 January 2016 (UTC)DeborahWC[reply]

I made the edits and removed the warning Jess479 (talk) 21:20, 20 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Warning re advertising/promotion

[edit]

Hi there, I wanted to revise the page to make it comply with Wikipedia's guidelines, but I was informed by DGG that I shouldn't edit the page since I am the chair of the board of directors. He said I should put my proposed changes here, which I am not exactly sure how to do, but I will try.

Change reference one as follows: ALP is a US 501(c)3 organization founded in 2005 by Chris Bradshaw.[2]

Add the following reference after the second sentence of the Methods of Operation section: The book drive organizers then sort, pack and ship the books via sea container to a designated African school or community.[3]

Insert a sentence and reference in the second paragraph of the Methods of operation section (founder Chris Bradshaw is interviewed in the radio piece, which I hope helps with notability): A typical small library is one thousand (mostly paperback) books. When the US postal service ended their low-cost surface shipping rate for books, the African Library Project began shipping containers full of libraries. [4]

That NPR story only discusses the postal services changes in a broad sense, it doesn't say anything about the size of libraries or the ALP.

Inset a reference in the third paragraph of the Methods of Operation section: They provide training and oversight of the libraries.[5]

Delete the section with the heading: Successful Projects

DeborahWC (talk) 23:21, 9 August 2015 (UTC) DeborahWC[reply]

References

  1. ^ http://www.pearsonschoolsandfecolleges.co.uk/International/Africa/Primary/English/Readers/JawsHIVAIDS/JawsHIVAIDS.aspx
  2. ^ Moody, Shelah (July 9, 2006). "JEFFERSON AWARD: Presented to Chris Bradshaw / Trip to Africa planted seed that blossomed into library project". San Francisco Chronicle.
  3. ^ ElKorchi, Miriam (May 7, 2013). "Chris Bradshaw ships books to Africa to help make the impossible possible". Christian Science Monitor.
  4. ^ Rose, Joel (December 6, 2007). "Postal Service Ends 'M Bag' Program for Nonprofits". National Public Radio.
  5. ^ "Reading Initiative Salone (RISE) Network trains 50 librarians". Sierra Express Media. July 21, 2015.

Notability and third party sources/references

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As the creator of this article, I wanted to note here that I do have a request in to the founder(s) of this project for third party references and sources to cite to back up the content.

hdonagher (talk) 04:52, 20 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The project's web site references publications with articles about it, including these references:

I have added these to the "External Links" section of the article. Please advise if this is sufficient to address the Notability concerns as well as the third party sources/references concerns. Thanks.

hdonagher (talk) 06:31, 21 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Warning re advertising/promotion

[edit]

Hi, I hope this warning can be deleted now. I requested some changes in January to comply with the last feedback I received and put them at the bottom of that section (which is now the top section) cause from what I read that seemed to be the right thing to do, but maybe it wasn't! Or maybe people have been busy.

DeborahWC (talk) 15:57, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

[edit]

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