Talk:2012 Guinea-Bissau coup d'état/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Mohamed CJ (talk · contribs) 10:17, 10 September 2012 (UTC)

Other editors are welcome to give comments. Mohamed CJ (talk) 10:17, 10 September 2012 (UTC)

Initial comments

Copyright violations

I've spotted a number of copyright violations (close paraphrasing): link (report), link (report), link (report), link (report), link (report), link (report). Mohamed CJ (talk) 10:17, 10 September 2012 (UTC)

That toolserver check is a little dodgy (ive had it before), but im getting to it after the below.Lihaas (talk) 10:21, 16 September 2012 (UTC)

Just reviewed the "duplication detector" and its, well, horrid. I made some changes nonetheless.

The secnd one has nothing to change. and the third. and the fifth.

 Done(Lihaas (talk) 09:12, 17 September 2012 (UTC)).

I've asked for an independent expert opinion about this. Mohamed CJ (talk) 08:46, 18 September 2012 (UTC)

This source needs a bit of work, both in terms of close paraphrasing and verifiability - for example, it is used to cite "justice", but that word doesn't seem to appear in the source. This source is also a bit close for comfort. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:04, 18 September 2012 (UTC)

Argghh, Al Jazeera changes content at the same page!Found a new one.

Not sure whats wrong there, i just reworded recently. Large parts are in quotes too.(Lihaas (talk) 11:34, 19 September 2012 (UTC)).

Dead and Google links

Dead links need replacing and Google links need archiving as they become dead links after a while. WP:DEADREF explains how to find alternatives for dead links. Mohamed CJ (talk) 10:17, 10 September 2012 (UTC)

 In progress Where did you check the deadlinks?Lihaas (talk) 10:21, 16 September 2012 (UTC)

But how do you archvie google links? They do stay for a long time. Its Yahoo that dies off soon.Lihaas (talk) 10:15, 16 September 2012 (UTC)

This report shows five dead links (some of them are already tagged as dead links in article). You can archive links using Webcitation website. I've archived two for you [1] (archive) and [2] (archive). It's not a must, but pre-emptive archiving is better. Mohamed CJ (talk) 10:44, 16 September 2012 (UTC)

 Done(Lihaas (talk) 08:45, 17 September 2012 (UTC)).

This one is dead too. Mohamed CJ (talk) 08:46, 18 September 2012 (UTC)

doingdoneLihaas (talk) 11:20, 19 September 2012 (UTC)

Lead

Currently it is only one paragraph. Per WP:LEAD, it should be two or three paragraphs as the prose of the article currently is over 15,000 characters (16374). Also it should contain no references at all (except for direct quotations) or be fully referenced (the first is preferable). Mohamed CJ (talk) 10:17, 10 September 2012 (UTC)

 DoneLihaas (talk) 10:14, 16 September 2012 (UTC)

It was improved, however the current revision shows just one paragraph in the lead with one citation (not direct quote). Mohamed CJ (talk) 10:47, 16 September 2012 (UTC)

Per "The lead should be able to stand alone as a concise overview. It should define the topic, establish context, explain why the topic is notable, and summarize the most important points"/. The current incarnation does so without going into oo much detail. Per citations, i dont believe theres anything controversial to replicate a ref in the lead from the article. Otherwise, done.(Lihaas (talk) 08:09, 17 September 2012 (UTC)).

General

Paragraphs should be 3 to 6 lines long. They can be shorter than 3 only if you're trying to emphasize a point. There are some clarify tags that need answering. There is one Dablink: Junta. Mohamed CJ (talk) 16:46, 10 September 2012 (UTC)

 DoneLihaas (talk) 10:14, 16 September 2012 (UTC)

I can still spot lengthy paragraphs at International reactions and Coup d'etat sections. Some clarify tags such as and are still there. Dablink Junta still not specified to an article. Is it Military junta? As for the bulleted lists (in reactions section), I suggest (not a must for GA) converting them to prose; some of them are really short (less than a line). Mohamed CJ (talk) 10:59, 16 September 2012 (UTC)

Done. Reactions lists are generally in such format to identify quickly. Though i could see russia canada, senegal and nigeria being out together, ecet that its then UNDUE to not indetify them neutrally the same way as others. Not sure.(Lihaas (talk) 08:09, 17 September 2012 (UTC)).

Convert all of them to prose. They currently look ugly. Clarify tags still there too. Mohamed CJ (talk) 08:46, 18 September 2012 (UTC)

But thats not rquired, im a little cocnerned over the consistency factor as this enhances readability/quick overview of hwho commented. Will find clarify details shorty.Lihaas (talk) 11:20, 19 September 2012 (UTC)

Detailed review

Will provide detailed review when above problems are resolved. Keeping it on hold for one week or until they're addressed. Mohamed CJ (talk) 16:56, 10 September 2012 (UTC)

Lead

• The first paragraph can be better re-worded such as: "On 12 April 2012, a coup d'état in Guinea-Bissau was staged by.. after the first round.. and two weeks before". Also no need for "just over" before two weeks. You could also tell us who these persons are and give some background info.

done. the info on the persons already says they were running off in the election though(Lihaas (talk) 11:18, 19 September 2012 (UTC)).

• If the info is mentioned (and cited) in the body of the article, then there is no need for it to be cited in the lead section.

moved ref to article an d left ref name in lead?Lihaas (talk) 11:18, 19 September 2012 (UTC)

• "which took over running the country" to "which ran the country".

doneLihaas (talk) 11:18, 19 September 2012 (UTC)

• "one of the reasons for the coup was the incumbent civilian administrations external call for support from Angola" no need for s after administration and no need for external. Also the type of help is not specified (reform the military) and the reason is given as "one of the reasons" where as it should be the main reason mentioned in the lead.

Done, and used apopstophe sLihaas (talk) 11:18, 19 September 2012 (UTC)

• "Following international condemnation and the sanctions against the leaders" no need for "the" (both).

doneLihaas (talk) 11:18, 19 September 2012 (UTC)

• The lead can be expanded a bit to include some parts of Background and Coup d'etat.

doneLihaas (talk) 11:18, 19 September 2012 (UTC)

2nd Opinion

Are you still looking for a 2nd opinion? Does it just concern the possible copyright violations? AIRcorn (talk) 05:46, 3 October 2012 (UTC)

Well basically I can't make it through the review. It is supposed to take two weeks max, but since college started I became very busy so I though I wouldn't be able to make it. Mohamed CJ (talk) 08:13, 3 October 2012 (UTC)

There is no time limit on reviewing. I can help if you have a specific question or finish the review for you if you wish. AIRcorn (talk) 08:38, 3 October 2012 (UTC)

I'd appreciate it if you would finish the review. Mohamed CJ (talk) 09:19, 3 October 2012 (UTC)

Have had a read through the background and I am afraid I got very little understanding out of it. Since this is the background I would have hoped it would supply some reasoning why there was a coup, but much of it seems unrelated to Guinea-Bissau or it is assuming the audience already knows some information.

• The country has been prone to instability[2] because of its location as a conduit for drug shipments from Latin America to Europe,[3] with allegation that government ministers and military personnel are bribed to keep silent, arguably making the country a narcostate Grammar in this sentence is off and who is arguing this, it sounds like us, a conduit is not really a location.
• The word however is overused. I don't for instance understand why it is used in regards to Ban Ki-moon, of course he was going to ask for a peaceful election.
• Just before the attack Ialá Embaló, who claimed to have ties with members of his ethnic group who are allegedly the largest ethnicity in the military, warned of "consequences" if there was campaigning for the second round of the election - what ethnic group is this?
• Campaigning was also due to start on 13 April for the second round. How does this fit in. Why "also"?
• Days before the coup, fellow Lusophone country Angola announced its forces would be ending the two-year old MISSANG mission to modernise the military,[8] after a failed attempt by the E.U Why is Angola important? What did the EU fail to do? What is a MISSANG mission?
• State-owned ANGOP said that the troops were sent in March 2011 in accordance with a bilateral military agreement to reform the armed forces. Troops sent where?
• Carlos Gomes Júnior has also been unpopular with the army for his attempts to reform the institution. Who is Carlos Gomes Junior and how does this sentence tie in with the rest of the paragraph?
• The same day as the coup, the two Lusophone countries of Angola and Cape Verde agreed to review their defense cooperation agreements How is this relevant

Some other quick points

• The embedded list of quotes from other countries does not help the flow much. The flag images just appear as decoration and don't provide much to the article.
• Some tags are present namely who or which and there are probably other instances where they should be added (i.e there were fears of possible violence - who had fears

• No comments for a few weeks now so in light of the above I am failing this article. AIRcorn (talk) 01:30, 25 October 2012 (UTC)

Sorted most queries. The ethnic group was in the page, but i moved the link up to background. Campaigning was relevant because the coup happened during the process (i just added the lection was disrupted by the events). Angola is important because it was cited as a reason for the coup. MISSANG has a wikilink. Ditto with Cape Verde as the ruling party (PAIGC) was founded as GB and CV and its a similar agreement with the other Lusophone country to reform the military.

Also changed the flags stuff.

Only need to answer the tags. Only one tag leftLihaas (talk) 01:32, 5 November 2012 (UTC)